Pranks!

[stormtreader]

"Teresa Green"?

Trees are green.
I knew a girl at school called that, poor soul

[Rapscallion]

I used to know someone called Jenny Taylor.

So close...

Rapscallion

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Oh, man, that pig #1 and pig #3 prank is priceless.

At Kinko's, you have to call out the names on the job jackets for people waiting. So it became the running gag to try and get people to yell out assine names in the store. We would call the front phones from the back room and ask co workers to go find made up customers with embarassing names.

Short pranks I've pulled are:

Walling up the accounts manager at Kinko's inside his office with cases of paper.

Leaving a power bar we'd re-formed into a really convincing dog turd on the floor of the lighting director's office at public television.

Taped porn to the teleprompter sheet during a newcast at WOLO (they had the old-fashioned paper-belt kind.)

Got a group of women together to flash boob at the newswoman while she was on air (we timed this and the porn prank to right before commercial breaks in case it threw off her concentration. Which it did.) This was when we had an all-female crew, and the male anchor was on vacation, so there were no men in the studio. The joke ended up being on us...a group of male pranksters, who had gotten wind of our plans, positioned an unused camera in the back of the studio and then patched it back to the control room. It didn't go on the air, but it DID go back to the control room, where an audience of guys had assembled. So the pranksters got pranked.

Husband did an extremely rude one (offensive...stop reading if you dont' want to read something crude) to a co-worker at Kinko's. He made yet another prank call from another phone to the front.

Husband: J
Victim: S

S: Kinko's, open 24 hours, how can I help you?
J: I need to make a picture of my friend, but they won't copy it for me at the other store.
S: Why not? Is it copyrighted?
J: No, I dont' think so. They say it's dirty.
S: Well, I don't know. Why do they say it's dirty?
J: It's nothing. Me and my friend are naked, and I'm holding a flower. That's all.

I do not understand how this call got so far, frankly. The warning bells should have been firing off like crazy. I guess a steady diet of weed might make a guy a leeetle guilible.

S: Well, that doesn't sound too bad, if it's just nudity. You can probably bring it on in.
J: Okay, thanks. Well....you know,the flower is what caused them to not want to do it. But you can't see it in the picture.
S: Uh....
J:I'm holding it in my fist, and my fist is up the other guy's ass.
S:

At that point, my coworker realized he was being pranked (I think). In any case, he burst out laughing.

[Zinjadu]

I'm a bad girl!

Our baggers used to pick on one of our pharmacists - this guy had just moved here from Poland, and had a very strong accent. They'd get him to page Wayne Gretzky to the pharmacy, or Seymour Butz, or Mike Hunt, etc.

On April Fools' a few years ago, I called the store on my cell while I was in the parking lot, and told the AM that I was calling in sick cuz I felt like I was coming down with something. Of course she asked what, and as I walked into the store and over to her office, I said it felt like a really bad case of *stuck my head into her office* April Fools! She laughed and called me a brat and said I really got her good.

Warning: This one is kinda perverted...
When my manager turned 50, I got him an 'old-age package' - I got the bakery to put icing on a bran muffin to make it look like a 'boobie', I got a package of prunes, and I put a bunch of blue mini m&m's in a container to simulate viagra (closest thing I could find that was small and blue!). And yes, I also paid for it all - less than $6 for an awesome prank!! I ceremoniously carried all this into his office and told him that life was all downhill from 50 forward, and these things might help him. I also gave him advice - don't eat all of this at one time and don't mix them together! He loved the 'presents' and kept them on his desk all day to show people! At least he has a good sense of humour!

[repsac]

Oh, I've pulled some myself. Simple ones like calling a 1900 sex line and then transfering the call to the manager. That one, backfired. somewhat offensive content coming, censored for young readers.

Me: Dials number, then transfers to SM.
SM: In picking up the line, pushes the wrong button and broadcasts across the store.
Phone: Thank you for calling 1 900, HOT STUD. If you would like a strong hairy man, please press one now. If you would like...
SM (panicing) punching buttons to shut it up.
Phone: You have chosen..(sounds of cursing from SM and buttons being pushed.) Hi there. My name is frank. so what do you want to do to me?

That one got me in a bit of trouble, though he got me back later.

Others I've done, which can be equally as fun are:

Taking red spray paint cans and putting them in the baler under a load of card board. When the thing presses down on them, there's a loud BANG! and a red cloud surrounds the baler.

Standing outside the trash compactor, only to scream bloody murder and bang on the chute when I hear someone cycle it.

Random orange cones scattered about the store. Typically in the middle of aisles. This one can be great fun. Especially if you put an arrow on them pointing up. Leaves people wondering for days what the heck that cone is guarding.

Putting a cone over top of a small remote control car. (doable, but hard) Making sure the car can still roll, then watching a customer or associate near it. When they walk past, driving the cone to follow them and then watching them scratch their head trying to figure out how that cone moved on them.

Filling condoms up with helium and pawning them off on unsuspecting kids as balloons.

Putting a thumb tack in the wheel of a shopping cart. That way it makes an annoying click click click when it's pushed.

Walk behind a customer, and wait till you hear their name. Women are KNOWN for this, since they often call each other by their full names when in conversation. Then, once I know one's name, walking around another aisle, approaching the person and engaging them in conversation. Example: Why if it isn't Janet Cosington. I've not seen you in ages. How are you doing? Very fun watching them trying to figure out just who the heck you are, and how you know them.

One of my favorites though, happened in college.

A very good friend of mine and I had gone to the mall. I forget how many of us were there then, though I know we'd gone for lunch. Nothing else better to do and all. Well, while we're there, wandering around waiting for my girlfriend to get off work, H (the other guy) spots a mutual acquaintence. This other guy was a jock, you know the type, and tended to give H some difficulties because of his accent. H's voice was very high pitched. Looking at me, he grinned and said. "We're going to have some fun. Just stand here and smile." (we were by the women's clothing at the time.)

H strode over to the guy (and his GF) and this is what happened next:

H. (In a very...feminine voice) "J? Is that you? Oh yes. Why didn't you call me?
J. (stares at H)
H. Honey, we had such a good time last night, and then poof I wake up and you're gone. I mean dear, I know you were tired and all, but you coulda just stayed for breakfast. Wham bam thank you ma'am?"
J. (Tries to ignore H) Go away you freak. (His girlfriend, took interest).
G. But, J you said you were out with the guys last night....
H. Oh honey, trust me, he was out, that's for sure. And guys? Oh yes he's quite a guy...so, you going to call me? I mean, I've still got your undies. I'm wearing them now.
J. Turns several shades and then blubbers to his GF. "I didn't. He's lying."
G (Stares at J, tosses something at him and storms off.)

Now, I know it sounds mean, but the fun part was his girlfriend was in on the joke. J never bugged H about his voice after that, though he did send H a male stripper for his birthday. (shudder)

[BusBus]

Back at my old job, I would hide around corners or sneak up on coworkers to scare them. The trick was to remain 100% silent. No "BOO!"s or wacky arm flailing. Just stand there and wait.

[Confuzed-Monkey]

That is hilarious stuff Repsac, I'm going to buy some thumb tacks tomorrow.

We do ALOT of the phone sex number transfers.

A favorite is to turn on the page function, and hand it to a coworker and tell them they have a call.

A good one, at the store, if someone is on an opposite aisle you poke them with a tape measure thru the racks.

We put an associate's vest into the Refrigerated Foods Vending machine. He had to pay 2 dollars to get it back. You know the kind with the small sliding doors. Full glass panel on front.

We shrink wrapped the cars of all the people that quit or transfer. At least the ones we like.

We filled the locker of a manager with small plumbing pvc fittings. They poured out like marbles. LOL

Got more, but I'm to tired to type.

CM

[repsac]

some more quickies. Some are delayed reactions. I'm not sure if any have been posted.

Pull several cups out of the water cooler. Put a hole in them with a straight pin about halfway up. Cut a tiny bit of the bottom off others. Randomly re insert them in the cup holder.

Place an ice pack on a fellow employee's chair. Let it sit as long as possible and then remove it. When they sit down, the chair will be cold, but they'll think it's wet.

Take a good cedar pencil. Randomly strike it against something hard and then sharpen it. When asked if you have one, offer it. The graphite is in horrible shape now and won't hold a point long before breaking.

Take the inkwell out of several ball point pens. Replace with coffee stirrer straws cut to length. Now it works, but nothing ever comes out.

Alternatively, remove the springs. Lossen them. Now the pen works, but the ballpoint will keep retracting into the pen.

Take a sheet of paper and print in big blocky letters. "SERVICE COPIER SOON" on it. Copy several times and stick randomly into the copier tray. Watch fun when copier spits out a paper with that written on it. See how many times they call for service. For added fun, delicately stick the pages into unopened reams of paper. (Doable, but hard.)

Bathroom pranks:

When in the bathroom, make loud grunting sounds and then drop a softball into the bowl from about waist height. Sigh contentedly afterward.

Gross, but funny:

Put chocolate on a sheet of toilet paper. Head to the Loo. Find someone that's using it and "accidentally" drop the fake paper so it slips under their stall. Ask them to hand it back since you're not done with it yet. (remember, it's chocolate.) IF they give it back, take time to eat the chocolate off the paper. Make sure they see you.

[lordlundar]

Back at my old job, I would hide around corners or sneak up on coworkers to scare them. The trick was to remain 100% silent. No "BOO!"s or wacky arm flailing. Just stand there and wait.

I'm NOTORIOUS for this. The strangest thing is, I never even try to do this, it just happens.

One of my managers did that once. A co worker was telling me something and he came up behind her. I thought he wanted to ask me something so I just waited until she finished. She turns around an then we nearly had to peel her off the ceiling. She SCREAMED too. The manager and I were laughing our asses off on that one.

[Pinkie]

Years ago I worked in a grocery store deli. We had the best time with rubber rats, snakes and creepy plastic insects. We'd rig up the snake or rat to come flying out of the freezer when you opened the door, or just set the rat on top of a box in the walk-in cooler....it was so life like.

We'd keep clear plastic glasses in the walk-in cooler with water (wasn't suppose to but we did....got damn thirsty in there!) and every now and then we'd find an insect in our glass.

The random squeals and screams from the deli department would get our co-workers to come running from other departments to see who "found" the creepy critter!!!

[skeptic53]

A woman I work with is really narcissistic, self-absorbed and annoying. She's 41 but acts about 14. She has more than a dozen photos of herself posted around her work station. She is the kind of person who loves puppy calendars, "lite" pop music radio stations, Celine Dion, US magazine, etc etc.

We have had issues about music at work, she brought in a boom box during December and started playing Christian music and Christmas carols without asking anyone else if they minded.

One day at work she was humming the intro guitar riff to "Smoke on the Water" by Deep Purple. She said, in her faux-14-year-old way "Omigawd, I've got this song in my head and I don't even know what it is!!". I thought this was hilarious. I told her it was "Smoke on the Water" and she still had no idea what I was talking about. Printed out the lyrics for her, still no recognition.

So when she went on break I downloaded a .wav file of the guitar riff to her computer, swapped it for the Windows log-on tune, and turned the volume all the way up. When she came back and logged on, her computer started playing "Smoke on the Water". The look on her face was priceless.

She knew immediately it was me, of course. I swapped the file back right away for her (she does not know how to tweak Windows settings) but she is still threatening to learn how and set my computer to play awful Christmas Carols like "Little Drummer Boy" and "Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer".

[purplecat41877]

She is still threatening to learn how and set my computer to play awful Christmas Carols like "Little Drummer Boy" and "Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer".

I like those songs. I think "Little Drummer Boy" is really interesting and "Granda Got Run Over By a Reindeer" is hilarious.

[Becks]

I swapped the file back right away for her (she does not know how to tweak Windows settings) but she is still threatening to learn how and set my computer to play awful Christmas Carols like "Little Drummer Boy" and "Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer".

How could people NOT like "Little Drummer Boy"?

You want annoying Christmas music, try hearing 15 different versions of "Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer" in a 7 1/2 hour shift.

[Ree]

How could people NOT like "Little Drummer Boy"?

I don't like really repetitive songs. That one's OK, but definitely not on my top 10 list. The one I absolutely hate most of all is "The 12 Days of Christmas".

[lordlundar]

You want annoying Christmas music, try hearing 15 different versions of "Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer" in a 7 1/2 hour shift.

ANY christmas son played that many times is enough to drive me crazy.

And yet I'm not allowed to put in Trans-Siberian Orchestra albums.