Pranks!

[protege]

I've always liked the Night Santa Went Crazy by Weird Al. It kinda sums up my feelings on the holidays.

No Christmas At Ground Zero? One of my friends, who was a dj at the college station, would actually play that the day before Christmas break started.

[CrazedClerk]

Where I work we have a little mini-feud going with the next closest store in our chain. One of my buddies called up the other store and asked if they had "The Bible Game 2" in stock and the poor sucker over there spent like 10 minutes trying to find it (The Bible Game, does in fact exist, but there is no sequel), he was pissed and vowed to get back at us for it.

Another time they called us up and had me do a lookup on some item that turned out to be some kind of erotica game (don't ask me why we had this game in our database I have no clue).

So last week I called their store pretending to be a dumb customer who wanted to put a PS3 on layaway. I'm just waiting for the revenge prank.

[lordlundar]

Oh! good retaliation on this CC! Phone them, tell them the release date for Burning Crusade is Nov 28 and demand to do a pre-order!

Note: best estimate for it from Blizzard is January 07.

[CrazedClerk]

Oh! good retaliation on this CC! Phone them, tell them the release date for Burning Crusade is Nov 28 and demand to do a pre-order!

Note: best estimate for it from Blizzard is January 07.

Awww son of a bitch! It's in our system for Dec. 15, I think a lot of people were hoping on it for Xmas. Boy I'm going to have fun breaking that news to them.

[LostMyMind]

Personally, I think Blizzard push the date so that people will spend the money on their new trading card game.

That and they don't want to work the holidays fixing everything that dies after server loads go through the roof.

[k66]

When I worked a electronics store the different departments called each other asking ridiculous questions. The music and movies dept would call home audio asking for a dvd rewinder and home audio would call them back asking for erotic dvds. Once I called the Car Audio department asking when the car lot was open so I could look at some cars to buy. I managed to argue with the CA associate for about 5-10 minutes. Also one of my coworkers would pretend he was an associate from the competitor checking a price match each time he called for his work schedule.

Now at the restaurant I work at our POS is really simple to use. We have a button that you can indicate quantity with. One slow night a bunch of my coworkers were placing 100 of a certain item on hold, transfering the entire check to someone, then going into that person's account and accepting the transfer. I was lucky enough to evade the order for 100 shots of hennesy [sp?]. They also like to spike each other's drinks with tabasco and table salt.

[lordlundar]

They never did push the date. They labelled it as Q4 06 before. For the game market, it usually means anywhere from November to January. Besides, better a quality product that's later than a piece of Junk immediately.

[Ryu]

it will come out in 3 weeks
(inside joke, dunno if anyone will get it )
most of their games come out in june if i remember right, including expansions
like almost all their games have come out the same month, its kinda weird

[MadMike]

The music and movies dept would call home audio asking for a dvd rewinder

I did that to my wife shortly after I bought our first DVD player. We had just finished watching our first movie on it, and I asked her to eject it, and "Don't forget to rewind it." I saw her moving her finger along the row of buttons, trying to find the nonexistent "rewind." And then, "Oh, you jerk!" once she realized she'd been had.

[Rapscallion]

Aye, but this is commercially available.

I had fun yesterday in prankland. I was in customer services, where we are often the people who set up accounts. Along came a member of the IT department to ask us to set up staff shopping accounts for a couple of our casual staff, as they were about to get their IT training (this includes basics stuch as how to email and how to shop at our place). I followed the sheet he gave me with the differences and he went on his merry way.

Now, when we sign up a new account, we have to ask if there are any delivery restrictions, such as low bridges or narrow lanes nearby. We record these on the standing delivery note fields.

During the training, one chap had to put in his account number in front of others to show what happens. He did so, then looked down.

"'Crap taste in music'?" he read out. "Where did that come from?"

I was grinning for the rest of the day.

Rapscallion

[thegiraffe]

I wasn't part of these, but they happened at work.

BACKSTORY: There's this guy at work who is probably 60-ish. He's been at the store for about 10 years, and is a staple in the store. He's one of the nicest people, and the most insane (even here...) He's hilarious to work with...never a dull moment. We pick on him for fun, and he loves every second. He's been around so long that he's been in almost every department. These are pranks played on and by him (since most of them in the store involve him).

1 - When he was in the bakery, he had these thick cokebottle glasses he wore (he's since had eye surgery to correct his vision). One of the cake decorators took a pie plate and filled it with buttercream frosting. We use real butter with ours, so it's nice and light and fluffy....and sticky. He was washing dishes, and she held it next to his face, and called his name. When he looked, she took and smashed the pie plate of frosting in his face. It took him WEEKS to get it out of his glasses.

2- there was also the morning they put a 5-gallon bucket of water in the freezer for a few hours. When he got there, they gave him a 'shower'. He had to change...

3 - This one was played by him. One of the baggers he's friends with was at the service desk doing...something, and there was a phone right next to his head. P (the prankster) took the phone in the front of the store (about 50 feet from each other) and used the speaker function to turn the other phone's speaker phone on. He says "you're a bad bad person, you have to go kill yourself" (no insensitivity to suicidal thoughts - this is simply their sense of humor). It was HILARIOUS because D (the bagger) jumped several feet in the air, then GLARED at P. The store was dead, so it was REALLY REALLY funny.

I've been involved in these:

1 - one of our managers was TERRIFIED of lizards. Being in florida, we find them everywhere. We were blocking ice cream toppings, and we found a little lizard hanging out on a bottle of chocolate syrup. The other cashier and I look at each other, and take it to D (the manager, not the bagger...lol). We said we were 'giving her a present', and showed it to her. She was behind the front counter. She hit the back wall (of the front counter) because she jumped back so hard.

2 - When I was in the bakery, I was closing one night with K. I was on the phone with a customer taking a cake order, and K was cleaning out the donut glazer. All of a sudden, I felt a warm, wet, sticky finger in my ear. I looked at K and mouthed 'i hate you'. I started laughing, and had to explain to the customer what had just happened so she didn't think I was laughing at her. She was a great sport about it, and was laughing also. I had to clean my ear out after I got off the phone. I payed him back by 'decorating' the back of his neck with black piping gel. That stuff stains

3 - Another night, I was closing in the bakery with K and M. We were cleaning up the baking pans, and throwing away the pan liners. M balled one up and chucked it at me, so I threw it back. It evolved into a full-fledged wadded-up-liner fight that eventually led to the hose. Surprisingly, we got everything done that night. The manager didn't let us close together again though lol (we were like the 3 musketeers).

That's all I can think of right now. I'm sure I'll think of some more.

[Linda]

My boss played an email one on me today.

Backstory - this guy is a pretty serious guy. Doesn't joke about, is strict when it comes to using work email for non work related stuff, so it was totally unexpected. I read the first paragraph and was

And then I read on. I phoned him and told him not to do that to me again.

Here's the email:

Subject: New HR Policy
Sick Days
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

Personal Days
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year.
They are called YOUR DAYs Off - If your are Lucky.

Bereavement Leave
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon or early morning We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently start one hour later or leave one hour early.

Toilet Use
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet.
There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offence, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the "Chronic Offenders category". Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sanctioned under the company's mental health policy.

Lunch Break
Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.!!!!!!

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

One time at work a couple of co-workers were having a little bit of argument over something. I guess one of them wanted to know where some lamp was was, and the other gave a vague description. So they were going back and forth for a few minutes over the walkie-talkies.

When this happened, we had an electronic toy with buttons you could push to hear a quote from The Simpsons. For example, pushing one button made Bart say "Aye Carumba!", another would play Homer saying "D'oh!, and another would cause Apu to say "Thank you, come again!"

One of the buttons would play Nelson Muntz saying "Shut up or I'll pound all of you!" I grabbed the toy, pushed the talk button on the walkie-talkie and had Nelson say his bit.

None of the managers heard this, fortunately, Everybody else thought it was hilarious.

[k66]

Remembered a few more:


The store had this huge bumper sticker sized stickers that we used when an item was too large to fit in a plastic bag. Someone from the Home Audio department would go around to various departments sticking them to the backs of coworkers. He was so sneaky about it too. One guy had it on him for a good hour. He helped many customers during that time and each of them noticed but noone said anything.

Another prank the HA guys would do required a team effort. While the cohort was distracting the victim, preferably on the second floor of the store and on the way to lunch or home, the prankster would place a security sensor sticky upside down on the ground. Little does the victim know that after he or she steps on it they are subject to setting off not one, but THREE secuirty gates. Sometimes the prankster would stick it on wallets, cell phones, or other belongings which were left in the terminal's drawers.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Another prank the HA guys would do required a team effort. While the cohort was distracting the victim, preferably on the second floor of the store and on the way to lunch or home, the prankster would place a security sensor sticky upside down on the ground. Little does the victim know that after he or she steps on it they are subject to setting off not one, but THREE secuirty gates. Sometimes the prankster would stick it on wallets, cell phones, or other belongings which were left in the terminal's drawers.

At my store, pranks with the security stickers are highly frowned upon. They are expensive and hard to get sometimes.