Dress code violaton

[iradney]

I absolutly agree that she shouldn't mention the builds or ages of her female coworkers, but I think she should use the same language that the idiot supervisors are using to describe what is happening to HR. "You're too sexy" and "you're a curvy girl" or whatever other lawsuit inducing wording they are using. Hearing that she's being routinely called into the office and told she's curvy or sexy really ought to cause a lot of asses to pucker down in HR. That's the sort of thing lawyers have erotic dreams over.

True true. She can say in her charges that she resents being harrassed and called "too sexy" and "too curvy" in the workplace, and feels that she shouldn't be punished for being a certain build.

It seems a little more professional (or at least I think it does, I do stand to be corrected) to use that type of language when you are referring to yourself.

[blas]

I have to admit that in the past week, or ever since I started this thread, I have been stark raving mad over the whole thing. I mean livid. And a lot of that hatred was placed against my supervisor and not the person(s) tattling on me and being petty.

I really like my boss. He is never inappropriate and I don't feel that he or the other boss meant to use the words "sexy" or "curvy" in an inappropriate matter. Like me grasping at straws to prove a point that everyone else CAN and I CAN'T, I think he and she had to grasp at straws and just flat out pick a few words to describe why they think that operator (or THOSE operators) was justified.

I did let my boss know that while I respect him and his position, I felt offended that he has known me ever since I was hired, and I pointed out that just all of a sudden people started having a problem with my attire, a year later, when nothing about the way I look has changed, save for hair color which is nothing at all. That kind of stuck him in a corner. I also pointed out that he DID tell me that if people start getting petty over things, he has to nip it in the bud. He promised me upon my promotion that if I got any shit for being young or an "outsider" (because I transfered departments) that he would immediately nip any heckling in the bud.

I also let him know that if that person came back again and complained again, he needs to consider if that person is TRULY concerned, or if they just have a problem with me being there now. He did consider that and he did say that although he felt my first outfit complained about was justified (and I'll NEVER be able to get him to change his mind), he does feel that it is starting to get petty and if that person complains again, he WILL ask them about their intentions with all of this complaining about me.

I suggested that if they keep bringing up the stories of sexual harrassment of other girls, or notorious men that they have seen staring at me, he should ask for names. If they can't think of any or describe any, he should call BS. He said he would do all he could.

So in a way, we reached an understanding. I shouldn't wear that one outfit again (which yes, is BULLSHIT) but I shouldn't have to put a lot of thought and doubt into my wardrobe or totally change. He said he would rather I NOT go shopping and buy a new wardrobe of men's clothes, because that's kind of like letting that person "win". He said to keep dressing like I always have, and we'll see if it progresses. He said I can talk to HR if I still want to.....

Methinks this weekend when I go to Wal-Mart I should buy 50 feet of gauze and mummify myself down to a B cup. That or invest in a super tight sports bra. That would REALLY give people something to talk about.

[Jester]

Jester: thank you. I guess right now you probably wish you were in Aussieland. Me and my best friend are doing a slow renovation of this house, and you'd get your pick of curvy or athletic to watch.

Always in the wrong place at the right time........

It's my word against theirs. But of course, their word is "Blas is curvier and therefore she can't wear it", so maybe I still will have the upperhand.

I understand what you mean Ree, but I want to be specific...and I know that would come across as conceited but how else can I word it?

Use THEIR words to explain why you are being singled out. Tell HR that your supervisor said that "Blas is curvier and therefore she can't wear it." Which is discrimination. Better yet, if you can get your supervisor to give you their reasoning IN WRITING, and you can simply take that and the company dress code to HR, you have pretty much done all that you need to do. As they are unlikely, however, to put that in writing, you are just going to have to write your own memo to HR, which you should bring in person, detailing A. what the handbook says, B. what your sup told you, and C. the disparity between the two.

I really like my boss. He is never inappropriate and I don't feel that he or the other boss meant to use the words "sexy" or "curvy" in an inappropriate matter.

I shouldn't wear that one outfit again (which yes, is BULLSHIT) but I shouldn't have to put a lot of thought and doubt into my wardrobe or totally change.

You may like your boss, but according to you, that outfit was not only not inappropriate, but would have been perfectly appropriate in his eyes if someone else was wearing it. Which means that, however much you like your sup, he is in the wrong here.

Obviously the main culprit is, as you pointed out, the whiner/complainer. They need to get over themselves and stop worrying about your wardrobe. If you were coming in in low tops and short skirts, that would be one thing (and one thing I would want to see, naturally!), but you aren't, and this person needs to seriously think about scheduling themselves a broomstickectomy, stat!

[Seshat]

Always in the wrong place at the right time........

Poor Jester.

You may like your boss, but according to you, that outfit was not only not inappropriate, but would have been perfectly appropriate in his eyes if someone else was wearing it. Which means that, however much you like your sup, he is in the wrong here.

Agreed, but if he's going to be on blas' side from now on, she may choose to let it pass. Everyone's irrational sometimes.

Obviously the main culprit is, as you pointed out, the whiner/complainer. They need to get over themselves and stop worrying about your wardrobe.

Hopefully it's just bullying, and the boss is now going to make sure it stops.

I'm crossing my fingers for you, blas. It does sound hopeful!

[TealJellyfish]

The outfit you described in nearly exactly what I wear to work except I wear black pants and heels and I work in an internation companies head office

I think that person was just being an arse