Staff member dies and they don't even care

[COMINATCHA]

I’m so disgusted about this – I need to vent.

I work at a head office for a pool/spa company. This involves me often having to talk with the salespeople to help them out or get certain information e.t.c. I know most of them quite well and haven’t really had a problem with any of them – until now.

We had a lady working for us who was very sick – she was getting treated for cancer. This lead to her making quite a few mistakes and just generally being confused about the work. I would call her for information and it would be heartbreaking as I could tell she was clearly sick and to be honest, I thought she shouldn’t be working. I even brought it up with her once and asked why she is working when she’s clearly unwell. She said that her disability payments were cut off so she didn’t have much choice.

Anyway, although I didn’t have a problem with her, the 2 guys who worked at the same showroom did not like her. They went as far as telling me they thought she was a bitch because she kept using their things and trying to steal their customers (they get paid on commission). I tried not to get involved in that – I just want to do my job, not bitch about things. Yes it was very frustrating that she was making so many mistakes, but it wasn’t her fault.

This morning I came in to work and someone told me that she had passed away last night. It was upsetting to hear, but I did my work and tried not to think about it too much. I had to call the display center that she worked at, to get some information about one of her customers.

One of her co-workers answered, and I asked if he had heard about her passing.
He said “Yea, well, we all saw it coming, so it’s no surprise really.”

I was really shocked at that response, I thought it was incredibly heartless. He didn’t seem the least bit bothered, he even went on to say that at least now she wont be trying to take away sales from him. I hung up on him, I was that disgusted.

Just because you don’t like someone, doesn’t mean you want them to die. I don’t understand how someone could be so awful!

[iradney]

*HUGS*
unfortunately, Cominatcha, not everyone is as caring as we'd like them to be.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Wow, that sucks.

One of our pharmacists died a few years ago. He was driving back home from a bowling competition and fell asleep at the wheel and crashed. There were cards and donations taken up for his family.

Too bad. He was one of the few pharmacy people who knew who I was and would say hi to me each day.

[Gurndigarn]

One of her co-workers answered, and I asked if he had heard about her passing.
He said “Yea, well, we all saw it coming, so it’s no surprise really.”

I was really shocked at that response, I thought it was incredibly heartless.

Well, that part isn't necessarily heartless. Some people are more accepting of death than others, so it doesn't affect them as much. Acceptance tends to increase as you get older, when either you've seen it around you or you begin to feel the effects of aging in yourself.

He didn’t seem the least bit bothered, he even went on to say that at least now she wont be trying to take away sales from him.

This, however, was completely heartless.

[blas]

I thought I had the most heartless coworkers. I stand extremely corrected.

I hope this earns you permission to backhand those assholes.

[Ree]

That's sad.
Poor woman.

One can only hope that the asshole with the heartless comment will get bitten in the butt by karma someday.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Karma is a bitch AND a boomerang. Just saying.

If it make you feel better, not every one is like that. One of my Kinko's buddies died unexpectedly last year (he still worked there). They actually closed down the store for a couple hours so everyone could go to the memorial service, which was full.

These guys were assholes, and I doubt they represent the feelings of most people.

[MoonChild2007]

Well, that part isn't necessarily heartless. Some people are more accepting of death than others, so it doesn't affect them as much. Acceptance tends to increase as you get older, when either you've seen it around you or you begin to feel the effects of aging in yourself.

I hardly doubt that these two men were accepting of death since they didn't like
COMINATCHA's coworker. Wouldn't they be just as accepting if someone THEY loved passed away?

Also, we don't even know the "tone" of how the coworker said it. he could have said it in a nasty hateful tone or even a "who cares".

Death is never accepting and to say that its okay for people to just say "we all saw it coming" is heartless. My coworker's mother passed away not too long ago and SHE was sick. I won't go off saying that everybody SAW it coming because not all of us saw it coming. Just like having a coworker die of an illness despite reports of her being better.

Sorry but it bothers me that people are so accepting of other people's demise.

[Ree]

I think the point that Gurndigarn was trying to make is that, if a person has a terminal illness, it's not really a shock when they die.

It's rather like when someone in their 90's passes away. While it's very sad, it's really not completely unexpected when it does happen.

Some people are not emotional about death and do see it as an inevitable part of life, so may come across as cold when they talk about it so casually.

I think you're correct in your take on it, though, and it was because this person really didn't like his co-worker that he spoke as he did, and not out of any personal acceptance of death.

[Kara]

True. I can't say I was surprised when my grandfather, who had an aneurysm, heart problems, glaucoma, emphysema, and had smoked at least 1 pack of cigarettes a day for 50 years passed away. Not that it didn't still crush me when my daddy called me at 5 am to tell me (he had woken up with chest pain. My grandmother went to get him a nitroglycerin pill, and he collapsed. He died in the ambulance on the way to the hospital. They think he had a heart attack which then caused the aneurysm to rupture).

We had a gal die at our call center last year. She lost a battle with cancer. I didn't know her at all, but our General Manager (the big boss) sent out a heartfelt email to everyone. They also said anyone who wished to attend the funeral could go and get paid time for it. Every single upper-management person went.

[Broomjockey]

Well, that part isn't necessarily heartless. Some people are more accepting of death than others, so it doesn't affect them as much. Acceptance tends to increase as you get older, when either you've seen it around you or you begin to feel the effects of aging in yourself.

That's me. I don't cry at funerals, even those of my grandparents. Yes, I was sad, and I miss them, but there was never the whole crushing sadness thing that I've seen other experience. Other people informing me of someone dying has even less emotional impact on me. But at least I can still make all the appropriate noises, unlike that jerk talking about his commission.

[Gurndigarn]

I hardly doubt that these two men were accepting of death since they didn't like COMINATCHA's coworker. Wouldn't they be just as accepting if someone THEY loved passed away?

No clue.

I've seen people distraught by the death of someone they knew, unable to cope or even think sensibly. I've seen people find out about the death of a close family member and take it mostly in stride. Being sad, yeah, but not screaming, cursing, crying beyond all consoling, or anything like that. And not even being sad when it's not someone close to them.

I'm like that. I have yet to have anyone really close to me die, so I can't answer that question about what I would be like if it happened to someone close to me, but I've never had more than a vague "That sucks" feeling when it's been anyone else. My thoughts are usually along the lines of "Would my presence help their family or hurt it? Is her daughter being taken care of? Anything else that would help the survivors? Or should I just stay out of the way?"

Now, in this case, I would say the guys were assholes since they were looking to profit from her death. But not because they weren't grief-stricken.

[Pedersen]

Here's something that's sure to sound heartless unless you read the whole thing.

When my grandfather passed away, my very first reaction was to think "Finally. At least his suffering is over."

Yes, I was actually grateful. His pain was done, the pain of his friends and family watching him pass away could finally end, and the people around him could begin to heal.

I suspect, though, that I won't be nearly so accepting when some others in my life die. And those are days I am not looking forward to.

[Linda]

Similar thing from my boss...

My mum died recently. 6 weeks ago in fact, and it was very sudden even though she had cancer. I was at work when my husband and dad came in to tell me and it was a complete shock to me. I let my regional boss know that afternoon that my mum had died, and that I would finish my shift that day as I only had an hour left, and as I was MOD that day.
My boss sent me a text message containing the following.

"Chin up. Who's doing your shift tomorrow? Don't expect any cover, it's too short notice"

Thanks boss.

[Gurndigarn]

My boss sent me a text message containing the following.

"Chin up. Who's doing your shift tomorrow? Don't expect any cover, it's too short notice"

Thanks boss.

Does your company have a policy on grief absences? Most do, although it's a very paltry amount of time off.