Things I am not allowed to do at work.

[edible_hat]

I will not accidentally electrocute the store owner. (the story behind this is nowhere near as interesting as that makes it sound, basically I had wet hands and turned a light off, some of the water leaked into the switch and when the store owner turned the light on he got a mild shock)

[jedimaster91]

Therefore I am not to flap it up and down like a mouth while stating "I'm an extremely powerful fire demon!" (cookies for the reference)

Howl's Moving Castle!

i can haz cookiez nao?

[fireheart]

Howl's Moving Castle!

i can haz cookiez nao?

*hands Jedimaster cookies*

Yay, someone else who loves Studio Ghibli movies.

[jedimaster91]

Yay! *munches cookies*

Studio Ghibli = awesomeness

[fireheart]

I am definitely not allowed to EVER flirt with the liquor boys so they'll give me a free drink later (and I am legal age thank you very much)
I am also not allowed to flirt with the nightfillers.
And finally, I am not allowed to make PA announcements about the plastic-bag-free checkouts being just that (plastic bag free...I got told to shut up after the 4th one, but the nightfill boss found it funny)

[blas]

I'm not allowed to hide Whiney Brat's chair or Ann's chair so that they actually have to get up and do something. I'm not allowed to find a techie type of friend to mess up Ann's computer so she actually has to work, instead of surfing the web all night.

I'm also not allowed to come up behind Whiney Brat, grab her arms, and force her to work a little faster. I'm also not allowed to shove her off her chair.

[nomorecarts]

"FUCK!" is not the appropriate response to someone singing religiously themed christmas songs saying "it's christmas!". even if it is november 5th

[edible_hat]

It's not appropriate to celebrate Guy Fawkes Day by lighting a bonfire between the petrol pumps (or anywhere else on site for that matter)

[Nick24444]

Things I'm not allowed to do at work-Library version

Things I'm not allowed to do at work-Library version

1.I am not allowed to describe the patrons as “reavers”.
2.I cannot automatically point male senior citizens toward the section about hearing loss
3....or female senior citizens toward books about menopause
4.I can't arrange a candlelit supper on the circulation desk's marble countertop.
5.When asked about books on pregnancy I cannot nudge the patron with my elbow and wink.
6.I'm not allowed to tailor witticisms to requests, viz, “so what was Napoleon's wife like?”
7.Trying to print subliminal messages on the free bookmarks isn't allowed.
8.I can't spread the rumor that the building is going to be a data storage facility for Microsoft next year.
9.Use of the rare technique called Library-Fu is strictly prohibited.
10.I'm not allowed to fake a meditative trance when asked a question by a patron.
11.It's not okay to turn the chairs so they face AWAY from the tables - just to see what customers will do.
12.I won't use school groups to conduct my own library Scavenger Hunt.
13.Not allowed to proclaim next Friday to be "Tinfoil Hat Nutjob Day".
14.Or any other day.
15.I'm not allowed to tailor books to the patron's wardrobe choices.
16.I can't make up game shows which involve having customers do my job for me.
17.Just because I can call it the “Pubic Library” with a straight face doesn't mean I should.
18.I can't offer the patrons my pamphlet on Silver, Gold, and Platinum Library Card plans.
19.When asked for material from storage I won't say “Let me just get the tranquilizer gun first”.
20.When a patron asks for a book that's not there I shouldn't sigh, shake my head, and say “looks like the lizards got another one.”

[nomorecarts]

"because you're stupid" is not the correct response to "why isn't this working?". even if the customer just needs to hit the big flashing "OK" button

[tare1991]

The closed sign for my checkout is not a toy. Therefore I am not to flap it up and down like a mouth while stating "I'm an extremely powerful fire demon!" (cookies for the reference)
howls moving castle

[edible_hat]

No removing the ladder when the manager is on the roof.

[IceLee]

That would be a good idea not to remove the ladder, edible!!!! especially if he were in charge of your pays....

[Bandit]

I am not allowed to push my dumbass users into the pool full of Cobolt-60.

Not even if it would be cool how much they would glow afterward.

B

[jedimaster91]

Iodine-131 would cause much more interesting long-term effects.