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Things I am not allowed to do at work.

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  • When cleaning the office, I should ask, "May I vacuum your chair?" not, "Can I suck off your seat?"
    This site proves Corey Taylor right. Man really is a "four letter word."

    I'm now using my Deviant Art page to post my humor.

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    • I'm to avoid describing character deaths at work, especially ones involving infected toes that the customer refused to have removed and slowly poisoned him. I need to remember that some of my coworkers are squeamish.
      Last edited by Ghel; 07-07-2022, 02:55 PM.
      "I look at the stars. It's a clear night and the Milky Way seems so near. That's where I'll be going soon. "We are all star stuff." I suddenly remember Delenn's line from Joe's script. Not a bad prospect. I am not afraid. In the meantime, let me close my eyes and sense the beauty around me. And take that breath under the dark sky full of stars. Breathe in. Breathe out. That's all."
      -Mira Furlan

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      • ZZTop's "Pearl Necklace" is ok to play in the bank lobby, but we can't play anything by Rage Against the Machine.
        "I look at the stars. It's a clear night and the Milky Way seems so near. That's where I'll be going soon. "We are all star stuff." I suddenly remember Delenn's line from Joe's script. Not a bad prospect. I am not afraid. In the meantime, let me close my eyes and sense the beauty around me. And take that breath under the dark sky full of stars. Breathe in. Breathe out. That's all."
        -Mira Furlan

        Comment


        • Quoth Ghel View Post
          ZZTop's "Pearl Necklace" is ok to play in the bank lobby, but we can't play anything by Rage Against the Machine.
          To be fair, Zack de la Rocha has a potty mouth.
          This site proves Corey Taylor right. Man really is a "four letter word."

          I'm now using my Deviant Art page to post my humor.

          Comment


          • Quoth Ghel View Post
            but we can't play anything by Rage Against the Machine.
            "F**K YOU, I won't do what you tell me!"
            PWNADE(TM) - Serve up a glass today! | PWNZER - An act of pwnage so awesome, it's like the victim got hit by a tank.

            There are only Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse because I choose to walk!

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            • If I'm requesting batteries for work, I'm not allowed to tell the male clerk, "I want the D."
              This site proves Corey Taylor right. Man really is a "four letter word."

              I'm now using my Deviant Art page to post my humor.

              Comment


              • Quoth catcul View Post
                If I'm requesting batteries for work, I'm not allowed to tell the male clerk, "I want the D."
                ... or the decel, cuz eveready's rabbiting on...
                I am not an a**hole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate a**holes!
                Procrastination: Forward planning to insure there is something to do tomorrow.
                Derails threads faster than a pocket nuke.

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                • If my boss's boss uses a meeting request to inform us about her dentist appointment, I'm not allowed to click on "Propose New Time."
                  This site proves Corey Taylor right. Man really is a "four letter word."

                  I'm now using my Deviant Art page to post my humor.

                  Comment


                  • If I bring a game called "Cockroach Poker" to work, I'm not allowed to say that we have roaches, stinkbugs, or rats in the office. I'm no longer allowed to bring cockroaches to work.
                    This site proves Corey Taylor right. Man really is a "four letter word."

                    I'm now using my Deviant Art page to post my humor.

                    Comment


                    • When putting in my 2 weeks notice, I must not attach the YT song "I've no more fucks to give" under the "reason for leaving employment" tab. Even if it says absolutely everything about how I feel about this job.

                      The fact ghat hey have enough ppl quit to warrent an online form for it says a lot.
                      Don’t worry about what I’m up to. Worry about why you are worried about what I’m up to.

                      Comment


                      • Quoth AkaiKitsune View Post
                        When putting in my 2 weeks notice, I must not attach the YT song "I've no more fucks to give" under the "reason for leaving employment" tab. Even if it says absolutely everything about how I feel about this job.
                        How about Take this Job and Shove It! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gj2iGAifSNI

                        In my pre-retirement resignation email, I wasn't allowed to link any version of I'm Free.
                        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=25vDRxriOGc

                        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v4L8L43GieE

                        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BdEvuQE6t5c

                        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S6InAX5IAQM
                        I'm trying to see things from your point of view, but I can't get my head that far up my keister!

                        Who is John Galt?
                        -Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged

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                        • Quoth taxguykarl View Post
                          You'd think they'd know better then to allow us the option to add links...
                          Don’t worry about what I’m up to. Worry about why you are worried about what I’m up to.

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                          • Sharks do not belong at work unless I work in an aquarium. I must not create a frenzy of sharks and I must not use them to annoy my coworkers.
                            Don’t worry about what I’m up to. Worry about why you are worried about what I’m up to.

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                            • I'm not allowed to have my password on screen. If you want to know my password, you can kiss ********.
                              This site proves Corey Taylor right. Man really is a "four letter word."

                              I'm now using my Deviant Art page to post my humor.

                              Comment


                              • We are not supposed to be browsing the internet on work computers, even during downtime, because there were allegedly 1800 attempted cyber attacks against work computers over a 2-week period from websites that employees browsed.
                                "I look at the stars. It's a clear night and the Milky Way seems so near. That's where I'll be going soon. "We are all star stuff." I suddenly remember Delenn's line from Joe's script. Not a bad prospect. I am not afraid. In the meantime, let me close my eyes and sense the beauty around me. And take that breath under the dark sky full of stars. Breathe in. Breathe out. That's all."
                                -Mira Furlan

                                Comment

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