So... Do you guys mess with Customers?

[Enigma]

Seriously, do you do anything that makes you're day a little bit brighter? Nothing too mean of course, but I've found myself getting private kicks by doing the following:

When I worked at Dish I would answer the phone with a different name each time. I never got in trouble because well.. we had over 10,000 call center employees in the US alone, and really..there was no way to get back to me. More over even if they had my OPID all they would see was "5KJ". Every call I would just spout out some random name- Candy, Loulou, Becky,ect. Once though I wasn't paying attention, and a call beeped in as I was looking at my calender-

ME-"Thank you for choosing Dish, My name is Febuary, how can I help you?"
GUY- "Oh, hey Feb-......febuary?"
Me- O_O "Yes sir, how can I help you"


Now that I work in retail I find myself making up stories about my personal life. Apparently I have three sisters, hosted thanksgiving at my house, have been to Mongolia...etc. The only time this has come back around is when this nice old lady came through my line asking if I survived my first hosting experience okay. I was so surprised she remembered me. XD

[Shabo]

I don't do that, but I did have a lady the other day, as I'm finishing up paperwork to give her her new computer, she says to me,

Her: So when you guys are transferring the files, do you ever go through them?

Me: Like, open the documents and look at them?

Her: Yeah.

Me: No. Nope, absolutely not.

Her: Oh, come on...

Me: No. We really don't.


Still makes me wonder what she thinks is so interesting about the work that the professors here do that we would find interesting enough to look at. Actually, now that I think about it, there was one psych professor here that studied human sexuality, and he had some pron on his computer... we didn't open it, but I'm sure the guys were super curious. We don't usually back that stuff up, but it was technically his research...

[Emrld]

I don't tend to mess with customers per say . . .but I do let them know that I am in a good mood and want to make it a fun experience.

I think most people here are familiar with the sig cap machine . . .it is where the customer swipes the card themselves . . .can punch in their code for debit or hit whatever to do credit . . .
Well this one customer used it as credit and with a twinkle in his eye asked me if I had a machine for my left handed customers or were they all for the right handed. The cord for the stylus is top center the holder is on the right side . . .so I just moved the stylus to the other side of the machine and set it on the counter . . .and said "sorry about the wait while I changed out machines for you" He burst out laughing . . .apparently I am the first person who caught on and at the same time tried to make adustments for him. He told me that most clerks just look at him dumbfounded when he asks that.

[Misanthropical]

I do it all the time, but nothing that would get me in trouble. When they threaten me with a lawyer, the BBB, AAA and their mom, I get more cheerful, which pisses them right off.

When they talk down to me, I expand my vocabulary which causes them to pause and ask me what a certain word means.

They get sarcastic with me, I end the call throwing the sarcasm right back.

When they scream "DON'T CALL HERE AGAIN!" and try to hang up. I say in a pleasant tone "call you back next week!" The phone gets slammed down, but I just smile.

[princess4life]

I will mess with customers when I work concerts. When I am doing searchs I make comments like "I am sorry we do not allow shoes inside this venue will you please take your shoes off and put them over there in the snow."

It is alot easier to give people a hard time when I am taking tickets such as at "These tickets aren't for Marylin Manson these tickets are for the Backstreet Boys." or "I am sorry these are fake tickets I can not accept these"

Some other ones I have told people are like "I am sorry but (enter headlining band) isn't going to be here today they saw the crowed and said for get that, so instead we will be playing the best of Barney the purple dinosaur" note most concerts where I work are either rap or heavy metal

[PepperElf]

sometimes when one of my co-workers calls the office looking for someone... say... "Hey is Frank there?" I'll reply with, "Frank says that he's not here"

thing is... sometimes they actually fell for it. So when it was the good supervisor, i'd call him back and let him know... (while laughing of course).

Oh, and at the last place I worked for, the computer admins would get silly.... One supervisor had a rubber duck they hid and fake-ransomed. They photoshopped the duck getting company awards, etc... and lastly they made him his own computer account and sent the supervisor email from the duck.

Along the same lines, they also gave an account to one guy's mustache.

[Misanthropical]

Thanks, PepperElf! I had to clean coffee off my monitor!

[Geek King]

Oh, and at the last place I worked for, the computer admins would get silly.... One supervisor had a rubber duck they hid and fake-ransomed. They photoshopped the duck getting company awards, etc... and lastly they made him his own computer account and sent the supervisor email from the duck.

Along the same lines, they also gave an account to one guy's mustache.

I love those admins. I'd do the same if this place wasn't government. They have all the sense of humor of a damp boulder. I play the happiest, fluffiest J-Pop I have sometimes just to see the strange looks as people walk by.

[gunsage]

Not mess with, per se, as much as enjoy when certain things occur. There's sort of an unwritten rule that states those dealing in customer service genuinely care about the customer and thus, any attempt the customer makes to not be a customer anymore should be taken VERY seriously. Nah. Don't think so.

Customer: "You know, frankly, I don't like your attitude and I don't like the way this service has been so far!"
Me: "Well, I do apologize, but is there anything else-"
Cust: "I mean, really! I think I might just have to up and cancel my service!"

*Audience gasps. Obligatory woman swooning.*

Me: "Well sir, I can get you over to customer service for that right now, actually."
Cust: "..."
Me: "Would you like for me to transfer you, sir?"

Later...

Cust: "Well, I've had just about enough! I want to speak to your supervisor!"

*Audience screams. Obligatory woman faints.*

Me: "No supervisors are currently available, sir."

I love it. Really, I absolutely love it. The two most ballbusting comments in customer service history aren't just defanged, but NEUTERED.

[trunks2k]

Oh, and at the last place I worked for, the computer admins would get silly.... One supervisor had a rubber duck they hid and fake-ransomed. They photoshopped the duck getting company awards, etc... and lastly they made him his own computer account and sent the supervisor email from the duck.

My mom (a nurse) had this stuffed penguin at work around christmas time last year. She had it out on the nurses station and came into work one day to find it missing. She was really mad about someone stealing her penguin. Then she went into the locker room and found an envelope taped to her locker. Inside was a picture of the penguin tied up on a hospital bed with the day's paper, a ransom note, and pieces of string cut from it's scarf. When she gave the ransom, she got the penguin back in a box, it was tied up and gagged with gauze.

[Enigma]

To gunsage and Misanthropical:

When I worked in the call center there wasn't alot I could get away with either, but to this day I love dealing with irate people, because the angrier they get, the nicer I get. It just serves to anger them more.

[freeatlast]

To gunsage and Misanthropical:

When I worked in the call center there wasn't alot I could get away with either, but to this day I love dealing with irate people, because the angrier they get, the nicer I get. It just serves to anger them more.

I too always enjoyed the fact that my being very calm made irate callers even madder. Sometimes I thought that they called just to have somebody to argue with and were very dissapointed when I was very nice to them and just gave them what they wanted.

[MadRocketScientist]

When she gave the ransom, she got the penguin back in a box, it was tied up and gagged with gauze.

What was the ransom?

[PCGameGuy]

I'll have to see if I can find pics, they may be lost. Back in the day, I was the only tech in my office, and wanted to show the company via email some of the tasks we did down here. Well, I took some pictures of terminals, equipment, and the like and decided they were just too boring.

So, I had a little ninja hamster. I added him to the photos, sitting at the keyboard, checking the test equipment, tracing cables.... and sent them out to the company as 'Ninja Hamster at Work'.

I thought they were funny and informative. The GM told me to stop sending them.

[coldcupofjoe]

I've thought about messing with certain customers. Like dropping a penny down inside the door, among various other things.

But since in can be traced back to me... I think I'll pass. But, I could seriously ruin someones day if they pissed me off enough...