Workday Phrases of Lore and Legend

[B&NGoddess]

S: I'm thinking we should start a pool to see who goes next.

H: Calm the fuck down!
me: He can't; he's still feelin' the taser volts.

T: I can't believe I passed up a chance to kill a civilian.

A: "Ms. D, I can see your snatch."
me: Dude, if your students are saying that to you, maybe it's time to put some pants on.

A: The word "cooter" makes me feel better.

me: "This Old Ho"? That makes me giggle.

[Luna]

I can't be expected to read all the emails in one day!

Obviously, I still have a lot of things to learn...you know I've only been here over a year.

[Andara Bledin]

I'm going to go to the bathroom and refill my water bottle.

^-.-^

[SuperDan]

"I've only got two speeds. If you don't like this one, you sure as hell won't like the other."

"This place will punish you for going to school."

"Something major is going to go down on Friday."

[Rapscallion]

"I always use Siemens in Germany. Actually, that's not something to boast about, but we're an accepting company."

Rapscallion

[Rapscallion]

"I'm a borderline alcoholic. Did you know I could get a mobility car from the local authorities? There's something wrong about that."

Rapscallion

[Rapscallion]

"He looks like a fraggle on acid."

Rapscallion

[NightAngel]

"Why do I have a dozen doughnuts, a can of hairspray and a bottle of meds?"

[NightAngel]

"Do you have any Crank for me?"

[Sharsarannon]

"In the event of the apocalypse, I can make chamomile tea!"

"It's your lizard, you medicate it!"

"Pokey!!"

[SuperDan]

"Yeah, now that everybody's concentrating on the doors watching to see if Lori comes back here, with our luck Nick will sneak up from that way and bitch at us for standing around watching Lori."

"I think we're safe though. Nick only shows up and busts us standing around when we're talking about hair care routines."

"What?"

"Seriously, the last two times Nick busted me standing around we were talking about hair care routines."

"Why the hell were you talking about hair care... Oh, fuck it, I don't want Nick to show up back here!"

[cinema guy]

"I already have chest hair. Do you want to see?"

[Dips]

"Sooooo...does that make you the Shit Awareness Officer?"

[Sofar]

"I have assembled a small explosive device of liquid smoke, undiluted pepsi sypup, potatoes, and The Wrath of God."


"Oh my God these pork sandwiches are so good you guys must put heroin in these things!"
"Now what can a modest man say to that?"


"Let’s just say it was one of the wigglier eldergods."


"Black is the new white! Up is the new down!"


"This car has moss on it."
"Welcome to the Pacific Northwest."

[reformedwaitress]

"And now I have to get a little cop car so I can pull you over."


"I like 'em but my customers are stupid and pull 'em apart."


"You gave up the hat for a beer? Are you insane or just that fucking desperate?"