Workday Phrases of Lore and Legend

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Me: I was going to remind you about your empty shelves out there

LJ: What empty shelves? I don't see any

Me: Those shelves you're loading up on your pallet jack. *puff on cig*

LJ: Those are Coke pallets

Me: Your shirt says Pepsi. The pallets are blue and also say Pepsi

LJ: I work there part time *big grin* Don't tell anybody *brings empty pallets and shelves up ramp and through doorway* I just gotta shoot these off

Me: Do what? *wicked grin* Lemme clean the two tons of hairspray out of my ear

LJ: *makes 2nd attempt to get stack through doorway* I gotta stack these off on the truck?

Me: Oh . . .

LJ: What did you think I said . . . nevermind

Me: Do you have to ask?

[coldcupofjoe]

You're like a modern day Paula Abdul!

Me: Sweet I just found a pair of chick shades!
S: You look like a hawt b*tch now!
M: I'd tap that!
Me: Call me monday, I'm off then. Besides, W is callin tonight.
W: What?

[Becks]

"Today was a TOTAL waste of a pushup bra!!!!!!!!!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"How's the weather out there?"
"F'in nasty."
"Like YOU?"
"Worse. It's hardcore PORN out there!!!!!!!!"

[Jadedcarguy]

"I can't believe his auditty!"

"Auditty??"

"Yeah! He's a total dick!"

"You mean audacity?"

"Whatever!"

[wynjara]

It's like Whack-a-Sales-Rep.

[Spiffy McMoron]

Oh, you're going to hate me after this is done.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

You're otta here already?? Just go ahead and leave me . . . that's just like a man. All men leave me eventually.

If I were having any more fun today, I don't know if I'd be able to stand myself

[AnqeiicDemise]

m: If you can just verify your number please so that I can kill you later?

[Jadedcarguy]

F*ck you and your yellow fever!

[GingerBiscuit]

"Can I borrow your manliness for a second?"

"NO! Thats the dance of mockery! THIS is the happy dance!"
"What's that then?"
"The 'I'm going home before you' dance"

"I'm covered in a slimy goo. I expect this at nights out, not at work."

"Hmm, yes, I expect to get banged into by a sweaty man any second now... I MEAN BUMPED! BUMPED!"

[Nocmen]

"No Mom! I am not giving away an illegal alien for Christmas!"

"You played jenga with WHAT?!?!?!"

"I had a Lavender Creme Explosion"

"N, the register shat itself again"

"Damnit, why did you say I messed up the order when the customer was still in the store?"

Edit 12/20: Two more from last night

"Bob, why is your hand down Santa's pants?"

"Oh god, hes foaming out the ass"

[Becks]

I don't even know if I can thank your parents for creating you!!

[smileyeagle1021]

cw1 "my mother is a year younder than madona"
cw2 "hell, mathusala is a year younger than madona"

[Dark-Star]

"That kid is a living advertisement for birth control!"

---week later

"Yeah? Well if the [name removed] kid was an ad for birth control, THAT kid is an advertisement for partial-birth abortion!"

[crazylegs]

Oh look, there's a blue tit on the fat ball.