Workday Phrases of Lore and Legend

[crazylegs]

Why is the Sgt walking round with a windscreen wiper in his hand?
Whip?
Comfort?
Well that tells me a lot about who you are!

[edible_hat]

A lesbian who gets pregnant? How does that work?
It turns out she liked the occasional sausage.

[cinema guy]

"So Ben & Jerry's is actually dynamite?"
"It would explode all over me!"
"Then you'd be covered in Coffee Coffee Buzz Buzz and we'd have to lick it off."
"No one's licking anything off me!"

[edible_hat]

Who's a happy little vegemite? Who's a happy little vegemite? Ow! He bit me!

[Xieg]

"I don't care! That is no excuse for confusing midgets with vegetables."

"Can someone push me down the stairs?"
"Are you paying people?"

"Feeding your father-in-law dogfood I see."

[Jadedcarguy]

He's a pillar of humanity.



What?!? A pillar of anatomy?

[edible_hat]

I found the mystery $30, it was in my till all along. The next question is, where did those five cent coins come from?

[Rapscallion]

"He said it was like microwaved snot."

Rapscallion

[Saydrah]

"Who's judging the mustache contest?"

[Parrothead]

"That is my own personal ass."
"You don't want to share?"
"What, and give out little ass-cakes? That would be nasty."

[edible_hat]

"I'll just do a drive-by on the way home."

[crazylegs]

Its mothers day and I haven't phoned my Mum yet

Thats ok, you can phone her from the cells.

[Spiffy McMoron]

"Morning, Spiffy. Oh, L told me to tell you that you suck dick."

[edible_hat]

"Yeah I saw that, I'm not sure if he farted or told a dirty joke."

[Rapscallion]

"Your face says, "I don't mind getting diabetes." Do you realise that?"

Rapscallion