Workday Phrases of Lore and Legend

[Sharsarannon]

"Stop sniffing your leather bustier."

"The eternal optimism of fish!"

[Rapscallion]

"I was threatened with a visitation by Chicago strippers last night. The girl threatening this said she'd do it only if she could watch as well, as she thinks male strippers are icky. It was a very strange conversation."

Rapscallion

[cinema guy]

"Have you ever met a transvestite?"

[DisturbedLittleFish]

"Jingles give me tingles"

"That's not a dunce cap, it's a death machine!"

[Dark-Star]

"What we need around here is a 10-foot mousetrap baited with a lollipop."

[MystyGlyttyr]

"My finger is all messed up. And it's my flippin' finger, so that's a problem."

[Xieg]

"Patrick Swazy makes a pretty woman"

"A customer just told me to "Git'r'done"..."
"Larry the Cable Guy looking for dog bikinis?"

[edible_hat]

"I did my first break last night, it wasn't my arm either."

"Why are you over there?"
"Because that one shat itself."

"Yeah, he was into that kind of thing until he kicked himself in the knee."

[crazylegs]

Where can I put this
<sniggers>
Oh you two are terrible, I'll put it in behind this one
<GUFFAWS>

[edible_hat]

"That's how I'm choosing the music for my wedding - web surfing. But we're still not using Dance Like an Idiot for the waltz."

"See, you get cool stuff like that, the tattooed people I know get Megaman and Donkey Kong."

"Rambo III's funnier. In that the Taliban are the good guys."

"Too bad we can't drink at work, I want a beer."
"Me too and I don't even drink beer."

"It's my one vice - drinking. And smoking. Two. Two vices. I never gamble. Except for every Friday. Three. Three vices. I'll come in again. Among my vices are drinking, smoking, gambling, and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope."

[edible_hat]

"Don't try to take a shower using the high pressure hose. That shit stings!"

"Moosefucker!?! I love that one!"

[Spiffy McMoron]

"A giant vibrator?"

"Who wants a free hat?"
Everybody in the building: "Me!"

[Sharsarannon]

"I close my eyes and things become more apparent, and I don't like them, but I open my eyes and I see the fairies, and they are evil!!"

[edible_hat]

"'Son of a mother' isn't really an insult, it's just an accurate description of any male."

[GingerBiscuit]

'You hit me in the boob! With your long rod!'
'It's alright, the skirtwearer buffed me before I came on'
'You're oddly good at using long sticks as weapons'
'BACK IN YOUR HOLE!'