Workday Phrases of Lore and Legend

[crazylegs]

There isn't nearly enough sexual harrasment here.

[edible_hat]

(on the phone, which has 3 extensions, when there were 3 of us working and a co-worker called to say he was running late)
"[store name], Ed spea..."
"Hello?"
"Hi it's [coworker]..."
"I want to be on the phone too!"

[draftermatt]

"This guy belongs in a nursing home... Or a nut house"

[crazylegs]

Do you want kids?
No, not for a long time.
Well, you could walk around the corner and meet a girl, and wham you've got kids.
I think it takes a little more than that.

[edible_hat]

"Of course you realise this means war. Or at least a pie eating contest."

"Next thing you know there's a 5 liter flagon of wine and everybody has to stay the night..."

[KhirasHY]

"It's simple: you donate money to this charity, and you get to throw a pie at my face."
"Won't that hurt?"
".......it's a pie, it's not like you're throwing a ceramic plate, and it...you know...has cooled off."

"I love fucking cats."
"Sex with animals? There's no time man!"

"We were doing so good this week...but you come back from vacation, and in the last 30 minutes, we've uttered enough phrases to warrant instant termination about 20 times between us."
"I like blackjack: I also like your mother's p*&^%."
"And I like to watch."
"Sorry boys, that's 22, bust. House takes all."

[Shangri-laschild]

"It says here an 85 year old man was accused of trading prescription drugs for sex. Way to go man!" - (my female boss)

[Dreamstalker]

"See, your misanthropic tendencies on the T are not entirely unfounded."

"I have no idea what part of his brain comes up with this stuff. It's obviously a part normal people don't even have."

[crazylegs]

Hmm, it's like bondage, but with itching.

[smileyeagle1021]

"If God hadn't meant for man to fly why'd he give him the intelligence to build an airplane"
"that's not the right question, what we should be asking is if God didn't mean for man to fly why did he kill all the dinosaurs to provide us with petrolium reserves to fuel the airplanes we designed?"

[edible_hat]

"It's almost time to bring in the Star Wars Christmas album!"
"You do and I'll destroy it."
"That's OK, I can make another copy."

[Dips]

"I'm not going to get the politician; I can't eat that much baloney."

[draftermatt]

"You're back! Why aren't you wearing a mask?"

[Rapscallion]

"Well, I sound alternately like either Barry White or the Second Coming of Puberty, depending on which sentence it is."

Rapscallion

[Shangri-laschild]

"Well at least I didn't ask for a gun this time!"