Help! Don't want to be a sucky manager

[FTGTF]

I was that way too jnd4rusty when I first got into the job I have now I was nice, tried to make friends with everyone, but yeah everyone started slacking. Those that were hard workers felt crappy because the bad workers were getting away with stuff. And then I took a class on management. And one of the classes said that as a manager it's better to be tougher than you want to be, and willing to let things slide at times to what your happy with. Because it's so much easier to be tough and look like your being nice when you let people slide a bit than being easy and then trying to be tough to get things done that needs to be done.

I still think you should mention the complaint. I mean even though this customer may be making up stuff, there's always the chance that she's not. And it's not like you'll be giving her a warning, etc. Maybe there's a better way that this employee should handle this customer, as you said they didn't like you at first and you won them over. Maybe the employee needs some tips on winning this customer over.

Now as far as being a sucky manager. Hate to break it to you, you'll have to be at times. There's no getting around it. I've had to do alot of things that truly suck. I mean I've had to give written warnings, fire employees, let people go because they were nice people, but just wouldn't work with us, and the worst for me was arrange for the police to be at the store as well as a replacement employee so that an employee could be lead away from the store as a thief. There's no way around it. You're going to be a sucky manager to someone. The trick is better your employees in the process. For instance if you need an employee to do something over, explain why so that if they do that job again they won't do it wrong the first time, etc.

[titansone]

Now as far as being a sucky manager. Hate to break it to you, you'll have to be at times. There's no getting around it. I've had to do alot of things that truly suck.

Absoultely correct FT! Your staff is watching you and how you are reacting to situations. Modeling proper behavior and addressing problems helps a lot. But don't forget the human side - a measure of compassion helps, but eventually it all comes down to doing your job - manager or employee...

[Arachne]

I can see what y'all are saying about relaying the complaints, but it's like FTGTF said about reading people -- my instinct is that Red isn't gonna be able to handle 'this customer complained about X', and I especially don't want to bring it up when I'm not even sure it's true. I wouldn't put it past Queen SC to decide she didn't like the new girl and make stuff up in an effort to make me fire her so that I'd have to work more hours again. During our conversation, I actually brought up that I couldn't work as many hours because I was being paid a lot more now and my boss couldn't afford it, and she said "Oh, I thought you just didn't like being here." I mean, WTF?! I love my job. I'm often there when I don't need to be and I'm not being paid.

So for now, I'm gonna keep an eye on Red, stay late at work every now and again if I have to in order to watch how she's doing, and wait until I notice the things the customer complained about, or until another customer, someone more reliable, brings the problems up. I may stop in unexpectedly once or twice as well.

I don't wanna give the impression that I'm a manager who lets people slack in an effort to be nice. I know that my employees don't actually like it very much when I'm working with them, because I do tend to work people pretty hard. But I'm a nervous perfectionist, and I'd turn into a tyrant if I let that side of myself take over. The last thing I want to do is make a poor employee re-arrange something that took her hours to do because *gasp!* a label is crooked.

[NightAngel]

Absoultely correct FT!

I see the point, but really- if you as a manager are doing your job properly and have given the proper coaching, etc. then when you do have to give a write-up or fire someone it's because they remained unresponsive or unwilling.

Sure, it feels sucky to have to do those things but it's a responsibility one accepts when stepping into a manager's postion. Feeling sucky and being sucky are not always the same thing.

[Gurndigarn]

I can see what y'all are saying about relaying the complaints, but it's like FTGTF said about reading people -- my instinct is that Red isn't gonna be able to handle 'this customer complained about X', and I especially don't want to bring it up when I'm not even sure it's true.

IMO, that's best. Mentioning customer complaints brings a certain amount of stress. And in employees who care, a certain amount of second-guessing themselves if they weren't expecting it.

Some employees deal with it better than others... but there's no point in starting it if there's a reasonable doubt that the complaint is valid. Especially since she's not likely to deal with it normally.

[Arachne]

Exactly. If I were certain that the complaints were true, I'd try to observe them with my own eyes, or just approach the issue from some other weaselly angle. ("Just in case you're wondering, store policy is that...") I think if I had an employee who didn't respond to having me correct them, I'd probably pull the "listen, I've been getting some customer complaints about..." out as a big gun. But Red doesn't deserve that, and she's already a little bit overwhelmed.

[Luna]

If you want to see how she is acting when you are not in the store - send in someone she doesn't know first. Do it on your day off, not on a day when you're staying late. Have your person wander around shopping and observing and then come back to you. Then walk into the store and see what she's doing for yourself.

It sounds harsh, but if you want to get a true reading of what she is like without you being around - that's what you'll probably have to do.

[workerbee222]

I deal with her fine, but I was raised in a family pretty closely connected to politics, and with that kind of childhood, you learn how to create personas for yourself and have absolute control over what you express.

This is the secret to almost any job in retail or customer service.

I had my doubts about my ability to perform well at a certain job, and in talking it over with a friend, he told me he approaches each shift as if it were an acting job. There were evenings he had forgotten to take his alter-ego "Robert the Waiter" to work, and his tips and job performance reflected that.

You sound as if you have things pretty much under control. The only tip I could add is that if you have to talk to her in the future, it may be wise/helpful/ or it would soften the blow if you were able to honestly say, "This is something we need to work on, but on the other hand, you do this, that and the other better than anyone I know,"or "you always do what I ask without whining, that's such a valuable thing to find"