I don't know anyone in NYC and while I know where a few things are downtown, I don't know my way around the bus routes or the subways. Sadly, I find life is much unlike old movies and cartoons where an Artist With A Dream can pack up with five bucks to their name and the clothes on their back, take a bus to a huge city with nowhere to live and try to gain fame and have it all work out. I wish it worked that way, but it doesn't. I really don't feel like just not thinking and diving head-first into the city and being homeless when no one will rent to me because I have no money and no one will give me a job because I have no phone/place to live/place to bathe/whatever other idiotic reasons employers would have to refuse you a job.
And like I said, rent in cities is massive. The jobs might pay a little more than here in Bumfuck, but there's no way I could afford to live in a city anyway. I mean if one-bedrooms are $1000 or more a month in my little podunk town, they must be at least double that in some cities. If I was making that much money, I'd have moved out by now.
I'm also nowhere that's within a friendly-favor ride distance - everything is at least 4-6 hours away. Like I said, I would rather actually think more than two seconds into the future, try to save money, hope my loan lender doesn't rob my bank account, finish school (hey, might as well be $100K in debt - at least I'll have six figures of something), and try to make plans. As far as I'm concerned, my situation sucks, but it could be worse. There's no immediate threat here because just about anything bad that could happen to me mentally already has - I'm burned out, probably depressed, anxious, socially retarded, dependent, probably have some other mental illness nurtured into me. If things escalate to physical abuse,then I will consider leaving now without looking back.
And my mother doesn't yet know I won't be doing art for a living. I figure it's for the best that she not know because she might force me to get a degree in another major and then I'll have to do the whole undergrad and graduate school song and dance all over again - possibly more if there are degrees beyond a bachelor's and master's in whatever major would be chosen. Soooo what she does not know won't hurt me.
Basically, moving out is just not a realistic possibility for me at this time. That's not to say it won't ever be, but just not right this second.
And like I said, rent in cities is massive. The jobs might pay a little more than here in Bumfuck, but there's no way I could afford to live in a city anyway. I mean if one-bedrooms are $1000 or more a month in my little podunk town, they must be at least double that in some cities. If I was making that much money, I'd have moved out by now.
I'm also nowhere that's within a friendly-favor ride distance - everything is at least 4-6 hours away. Like I said, I would rather actually think more than two seconds into the future, try to save money, hope my loan lender doesn't rob my bank account, finish school (hey, might as well be $100K in debt - at least I'll have six figures of something), and try to make plans. As far as I'm concerned, my situation sucks, but it could be worse. There's no immediate threat here because just about anything bad that could happen to me mentally already has - I'm burned out, probably depressed, anxious, socially retarded, dependent, probably have some other mental illness nurtured into me. If things escalate to physical abuse,then I will consider leaving now without looking back.
And my mother doesn't yet know I won't be doing art for a living. I figure it's for the best that she not know because she might force me to get a degree in another major and then I'll have to do the whole undergrad and graduate school song and dance all over again - possibly more if there are degrees beyond a bachelor's and master's in whatever major would be chosen. Soooo what she does not know won't hurt me.
Basically, moving out is just not a realistic possibility for me at this time. That's not to say it won't ever be, but just not right this second.
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