Job fairs are off-limits

[ShadowBall]

I heard on the radio yesterday that a job fair will be held at a hotel in town next week, and I said I wanted to borrow the car that day to go have a look around and see if I can give someone a resume.

My wonderful mother informed me that I am not allowed to go because the only employers at job fairs are from out of town and she doesn't want me to drive anywhere she hasn't driven and/or that might have heavy traffic. Looks like it's back to internet job searching.

[tropicsgoddess]

Your mom is out of her mind! Job fairs are a great way to network and get yourself a job! Fuck what she says, if you have to, get a bus or get somebody else to give you a ride to the job fair.

[Bright_Star]

Do it anyway. You never know what opportunities will present themselves to you while you're there.

[sevendaysky]

See if there's a friend or someone you could carpool with to get there. Just because the job fair is in another town doesn't mean the JOB itself isn't somewhere around your place.

[Raveni]

Some of the booths at job fairs will no doubt be for employers who want you to move, do seasonal work, join the Army, etc. Some will be for colleges who want money you may not have to get a degree. But some will be for great local jobs, and hopefully one will be the right fit for you.

Even if you don't find anything, it is good practice. Job hunting is hard work, but the more people you put yourself in front of, the easier it will be and the better impression you will make when you find the right employer.

[Andara Bledin]

Screw that. Find some way to get yourself there, and go.

You could only be so lucky that some place would ask you to relocate to work for them.

^-.-^

[ShadowBall]

Since I already said I wanted the car next week for this reason, she will probably realize why I want the car that same day if I make up another reason. I'll try and go anyway, but I might just tell her I want to look around and not necessarily talk to anyone or something like that.

And trust me, I know she's emotionally abusive. She only wants things done her way, and if something doesn't match what exactly she wants, she will say don't do it, it's not allowed, etc. Unfortunately since I have basically no way to leave, no place to go, no money to spare and basically no nothing at all, relocating for a job would probably be impossible anyway unless they for some reason paid for all my expenses.

I kinda wish I had a more up-to-date printed portfolio and business cards ready, but I have resumes, writing samples, and I could print out small greyscale sample art sheets if anyone's interested in those. I have a feeling people there will be more interested in my general resume (which is not impressive) than either of my creative ones.

[Mikkel]

And trust me, I know she's emotionally abusive. She only wants things done her way, and if something doesn't match what exactly she wants, she will say don't do it, it's not allowed, etc. Unfortunately since I have basically no way to leave, no place to go, no money to spare and basically no nothing at all, relocating for a job would probably be impossible anyway unless they for some reason paid for all my expenses.

You really need to get out of there.

Do you have family somewhere far away? Perhaps someone who know your mother would be willing to help out, at least to the extent of a month on the sofa and food.

[Ree]

Is it too far to walk?
Is public transport available?
No friends who can drive you?

Your mother sounds mentally ill.
She is trying to hold you back, but she can't succeed at it if you don't let her.

[Geek King]

I have a feeling people there will be more interested in my general resume (which is not impressive) than either of my creative ones.

Then talk to the recruiters there. I'm fairly convinced I got my first real job out of college because the recruiter and I grew up in the same town. We had a friendly chat about things in the old homefront, and moved on.

Sometimes the impression you make is worth more than what your resume says.

[ShadowBall]

It's definitely too far to walk from where I am - at least 20 miles. And the only other person who could drive me is my boyfriend...the only thing is he drives his parents' old car (they're both chain-smokers), so spending even a few minutes in his car results in me reeking of stale smoke like I've been in a bar all day long. I don't think people will take me too seriously if I stink of smoke funk.

There are only taxis where I live, and I really cannot afford to spend money since I need every dollar I can find for school in November. And trust me, I know my mother's nuts in the head - while I'm by no means a psychologist, I'm pretty sure she's a narcissist since she seems to fit all the signs of one. For now, though, I will likely need to settle for a shitty local job until I can save up enough money to be on my own (which may take a very long time since I have two years of grad school left and most likely will not get loans for it) and look for work elsewhere.

No family I can really stay with either since most live kinda far away. So I'm just kinda going to grin and bear my current situation until I can afford to get a car and move out. No clue when this will happen, but I know it won't be an immediate result.

I might see if I can at least dress up my resume a little more while avoiding putting my last job on there (due to the company's horrible reputation). I just know people usually don't want to hire someone with no work history because the average employer doesn't want to give a newbie a chance...especially one who needs to take time off for class. I don't really think I'm good at making a good impression on anyone, which is another reason no one ever hires me - sure, I'm polite, I dress properly, I'm showered and clean and I try my best to speak clearly even when I'm nervous. Maybe I don't brag about what I can do enough since, deep down, I feel I suck at everything and I kinda feel like I'm lying to employers if I say I'm good at this or that.

This is why I look like mad for work I can do at home - don't need anyone's permission to take the job, don't need the car, don't need to be told how I'm doing everything wrong. Granted, freelance work hardly pays anything at all on the rare occasion someone DOES hire me (usually I'm told my rates, which are below minimum wage, are too high), but I need money one way or another.

[wagegoth]

SB, I'm sorry you're stuck in such a mess. Maybe some of this will help:

For the boyfriend's car: Febreeze. It is awesome, and will even clear up stale smoke odors. Find a scent you can stand, heavy duty, and spray the heck out of it with the doors and windows open.

Second, having lived with a couple of different narcissists (one officially diagnosed), it will not get better, as they cannot see that they have an illness. So, moving is probably your best option.

You mention finishing grad school, but it seems unlikely without you getting more loans (and more debt with no income), so even moving kinda far away may be your best choice. I don't know what your undergraduate degree is in, but if there is any possibility of using it to get a job, do it.

How long did you work for the last bad company? If it was for a short time, then tell any recruiter or interviewer or agency that you realized after a while what the company was like and felt that you had to leave due to their unethical practices.

Saying good things about yourself in an interview is not bragging. You have to tell interviewers what they need to hear. If you don't give them a reason to hire you, they won't.

As to transportation, I don't know where you live, but is it possible you could get a bike? The weather may get bad, but a bike gives you some independence, and may get you a job in fast food or retail.

[Andara Bledin]

For the boyfriend's car: Keep your clothes in a plastic bag, wear jeans and t-shirt out, then change someplace nearby and walk in with non-funky clothing.

As to transportation, I don't know where you live, but is it possible you could get a bike?

If I'm remembering correctly, the last bike mysteriously vanished.

^-.-^

[Kristev]

What if you left the bike at your boyfriend's place? I mean, is that close enough to walk to for you, then just leave it at his place, and your smother will never know you even have it? Or even have him give you a lift to his place and from his place, and then bike your way around? Odds are she won't discover that you have a bike there until it's too late. As for the smoke smell, biking around in the open air will counter the smell.

[Ree]

It's definitely too far to walk from where I am - at least 20 miles. And the only other person who could drive me is my boyfriend...the only thing is he drives his parents' old car (they're both chain-smokers), so spending even a few minutes in his car results in me reeking of stale smoke like I've been in a bar all day long. I don't think people will take me too seriously if I stink of smoke funk.

20 miles? That's less than a half hour in a car, isn't it?
Use some Febreze on the car, and then on yourself once you're out of the car? (Whoops, I see that was suggested.)
Use a nice and light fragrance body spray once you are out of the car?
(Go a little early to have time to air out a bit?)
As Andara said, take your interview clothes in a plastic bag and change in the washroom at the hotel.
There are lots of options if you think about it, and take the time to plan.