And people wonder why I'm a pervert

[Umingmaq]

"And people wonder why I'm a pervert"

And here I thought it was just because you got first choice.

[Marmalady]

I don't think Irv's the only perv out there . . . I think the product designer is one as well.

Wouldn't surprise me at all.... Haven't you all noticed just how many women's beauty / grooming products come in a vaguely cylindrical container with a rounded end, which squirts out some kind of pearly, viscous liquid...?

[lobo94]

I wouldn't call Irv a pervert...I'm quite certain he's over 21, so he'd be a provert!

Just playing, Irv.

But in all seriousness, I'm glad I have company down here in the gutter. Come on, join us, folks...we all float down here! "puts on his clown suit and his fangs"

Someday to be published-Lobo's memoirs-"My Wicked, Naughty Ways." Names changed to protect the innocent and the guilty. Street Date-2265.

[dalesys]

...which squirts out some kind of pearly, viscous liquid...?

Which is to be massaged into your hair...

[cashierbex]

ANd I thought the personal massagers we sell at my job were bad.

[Marmalady]

Which is to be massaged into your hair...

Or into the skin, of course.....

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Then today, I noticed something on the bulletin board from corporate about short-term disability insurance.

Y'know, if nothing else, I should be working up in corporate because I at least know how to write things that won't be made fun of 30 different ways by people like me. Because, as a heading to a paragraph, the following was printed on the page in big, bold type:

How does STD work?

Well, when a man and a woman love each other....

[Zaiida]

Funnier than the accidental bong shaped drinks I saw in the supermarket many moons ago. It was supposed to be a maraca and even had a small plastic pocket filled with beads to rattle and shake. I bought a few and the cashier and I cracked up when bought them. I did actually use them as maracas then gave them to the dog as a toy. Apparently they sold out of them in 2 days when my brother went to buy some a few days later.

[MoonCat]

It does look very much like a purple version of the "personal massagers" they used to sell by mail in the back of women's magazines.

They're not in the back anymore. We get catalogs from Dr. Leonard's and Harriet Carter, and you should see the stuff they sell.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

They're not in the back anymore. We get catalogs from Dr. Leonard's and Harriet Carter, and you should see the stuff they sell.

My mom and I get those all the time . . .personal massagers my ass.

[rose_metal_nz]

My mom and I get those all the time . . .personal massagers my ass.

Um, you're doing it wrong *shifty eyes*

[Treasure]

Um, you're doing it wrong *shifty eyes*

I know people that would argue otherwise with you.....

[MadMike]

Good thing I never saw those at our local supermarket. My wife already hates going shopping with me because I always seem to find some questionable product and make a big deal out of it. A few weeks ago, it was Planters Big Nut Bars. My wife just rolled her eyes when I pointed to them and laughed, and then I made some comment about the "Triple Nut Bar" having an extra one, and I think she just wanted to crawl into a hole somewhere.

However, these two old ladies who were nearby thought it was hilarious. Every time I'd run into them in the other aisles, the one would crack up, and the other one would say, "I can't take her anywhere!"

[PepperElf]

You know I'd like to see the plan-orgasm they come up with for that item.