How Not to Get Hired 101

[Solacelawlz]

Eye sex your interviewer (look her up and down continuously) and say "I'd buy that for a dollar..." /sigh It did not go over well for that guy!

[NateTheChops]

Eye sex your interviewer (look her up and down continuously) and say "I'd buy that for a dollar..." /sigh It did not go over well for that guy!

My response: Yeah, but how are you going to earn the dollar?

[Jay 2K Winger]

Eye sex your interviewer (look her up and down continuously) and say "I'd buy that for a dollar..." /sigh It did not go over well for that guy!

Did that guy look like this?

[agirlfromnowhere]

Pretty much be guaranteed a job because you're recommended by a long time employee. Then keep rescheduling your interview until the store manager says to forget it because you're wasting your time.

Not only show up later to your interview but show up with your kids.

Want $9 an hour starting out at a fast food place as a crew member. I was a shift leader and was making that at the time. Store manager started people out at minimum wage (7.25) and if you have experience he'd start you out with more but it would be 7.75 at the very most.

Hand in an application, then use our store for a drug run.

Ask for an application while in the drive thru.

Say you have full availability on your application and at the interview say you can only work very limited hours.

Lie on your application and say you don't have any felonies when you actually do.(Said person did get hired and when store manager found out he went ahead and kept her because she was a good worker.)

Be my cousin's loser mother and put my name on your application without me knowing. She almost did get hired for that reason but my boss asked me first and I was like oh HELLLL NO.

Be unavailable mornings and weekends when 90% of the business comes from mornings and weekends.

[NotAlBundy]

When the interviewer tells you that although you would like to work 30+ hours, we unfortunately don't have that many to give, you answer by saying:

Oh, that's cool. I just want to get a job so I can get my dad off my back.

[Racket_Man]

When the interviewer tells you that although you would like to work 30+ hours, we unfortunately don't have that many to give, you answer by saying:

Oh, that's cool. I just want to get a job so I can get my dad off my back.

back about 28 years ago (mid 1980's) I worked in what was then a fairly rich area ( ya know where if you only had a 2 car garage, you were in the "slums") most (BUT not all) of the young people that were employed the chain pizza place were this kind of person.

"OH MY Sr VP Daddie wants me to know what it is like to aactually "WORK" for a living."

"OH I am here just to make beer money."

"OH I am just workin for a little while so I can get my Dad to buy me a Corvette." (and yes the jerkoff's Dad actuall bought him the car).


Yes there were a few who actually did work hard and stayed with the company. One was an immigrant from an Eastern Block country. His Father was fairly high up in a company BUT taught his children to actually work for what they got.

[Limescale]

Remember reading this one on another forum:

- Falsify an error on the part of an employee (say the cashier short changed you) then demand a manager. When one comes up thrust a resume into their hands stating that the store is obviously in need of more competent staff and thus you'd like to submit yourself as new blood. Act shocked when manager, rather than taking your word for it, counts the cash drawer and find it balances perfectly, then accuse cashier of pocketing the extra cash. Get shown the door while your resume takes a dive into the circular file when the cameras are then checked and your blatant lie is exposed.

- In the "Preferred Position" field on the application, write down "Store Manager or Regional Manager". Become irate at being told those positions are usually recruited from within the company and that someone coming in off the street will have to work their way up from the lowly peon ranks.

And now one that I myself am guilty of:

- When asked why you want to work at a given place, state you just want something to keep you busy till a better opportunity comes along. Granted I was only 15 at the time and looking for something to do over the summer but still, man was that tactless.

[Pixilated]

Remember reading this one on another forum:

- Falsify an error on the part of an employee (say the cashier short changed you) then demand a manager. When one comes up thrust a resume into their hands stating that the store is obviously in need of more competent staff and thus you'd like to submit yourself as new blood. Act shocked when manager, rather than taking your word for it, counts the cash drawer and find it balances perfectly, then accuse cashier of pocketing the extra cash. Get shown the door while your resume takes a dive into the circular file when the cameras are then checked and your blatant lie is exposed.
*snip*

Man, what kind of idiot would you have to be to actually think this would work!

[smileyeagle1021]

- When asked why you want to work at a given place, state you just want something to keep you busy till a better opportunity comes along. Granted I was only 15 at the time and looking for something to do over the summer but still, man was that tactless.

I actually did that at the job I'm at now. In fairness, they called me in for an interview for a position other than what I applied for. I applied for accounts payable, they called me in for a front desk position. And when that question came up why I wanted to work for them, I was honest, I really don't want this position, but I can't afford to turn down a job offer. If you give it to me, I will work to the best of my ability on it, and I know from experience that will be a benefit to you at the front desk, but if you hire me, it will be on the understanding that I will continue to look for work in my field. Manager's reply was, okay, well, we will need more people in accounting in a few months, hopefully you haven't found something by then and we can move you up there, and in the mean time, with the current job market you are probably going to be here a few months which is a lot more than the people we have been getting who get hired here just to get the gaming card then immediately apply for one of the mega resorts downtown.
So telling them that you aren't really interested in it isn't necessarily tactless, as long as you handle it the right way.

[BlaqueKatt]

If you want to work at a toy store, don't put down that you worked at (local strip club). I don't care if you were just a waitress, you worked at a strip club.

So penalized for having a job someone doesn't "approve of", should they lie, or leave a huge unexplained gap in their employment history?

That's just wrong. Especially if you would have no qualms about hiring someone that was a waitress anywhere else, that's borderline discriminatory.

And yup, I was an actual stripper(paid my ex-husband's FULL 4 year college tuition-TYVM) as it was the only job I could get in that town after my military discharge, because that's all there was. It's honest work.
I'm now a microbiologist.

[Jay 2K Winger]

And yup, I was an actual stripper(paid my ex-husband's FULL 4 year college tuition-TYVM) as it was the only job I could get in that town after my military discharge, because that's all there was. It's honest work.
I'm now a microbiologist.

Hey, some microbiologists used to be strippers, others are professional wrestlers. I don't judge.

[Whirly_bird]

That's just wrong. Especially if you would have no qualms about hiring someone that was a waitress anywhere else, that's borderline discriminatory.

As someone who's done his hiring and firing over the years, it ain't discriminatory in anyway.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

My guess--and this is only a guess--is that the toy store doesn't want awkward moments when some guy comes in with his kid and recognizes the cashier as Fifi Funjugs from the nudie bar.

As I mentioned earlier in this thread, we had somebody apply for a seasonal job at the swamp whose work experience was almost entirely--if not entirely--stripping. Yeah, it was Christmastime and we need all the help we can get, but management probably didn't want us to be the first job that required this person to keep her clothes on.

That, or maybe she was the person who requested $21 an hour to start. Who knows?

[fireheart]

My guess--and this is only a guess--is that the toy store doesn't want awkward moments when some guy comes in with his kid and recognizes the cashier as Fifi Funjugs from the nudie bar.

That was my likely guess too. It would also make some very awkward moments.

Or that she didn't present a good image at the interview.

[BrenDAnn]

This one happens in three easy (stupid) steps;

1) Be a former AM, who up and quit while M was on maternity leave

2) Five years later, return to town, start calling the store looking for M multiple times a day

3) When you finally get a hold of M, ask to use her as a reference. Oh sure, she'll be a reference...to tell them you screwed her over the day after she gave birth to her son! Good luck with that, though!