Some of the Worst News I Could Get

[MournBlade]

We always thought it was some city slicker who didn't know their head from their ass.
Cattle were also lost this way.
It says moo, has no horns - must be a diseased fat deer - ugh

[Flying Grype]

We used to paint our horses with fluorescent paint during deer season. One of them was this little sorrel filly with a blonde tail, and she'd flip it up in the air and go pronking around the field.

Hunters in our area were notorious for a) ignoring no-hunting signs, b) poaching in the dark, and c) hunting while drunk. I think it's dumb luck that nobody ever shot that pony.

[Sapphire Silk]

How do you mistake a horse for a deer? It's a friggin' HORSE!

You'd be amazed what dumb city folk will do.

When I lived in Maryland, a fellow from Baltimore decided to give deer hunting a try. He decked himself out in the best gear money could buy, and went into an area where it was legal to hunt. He shows up at a tagging station with his kill, and is promptly arrested.

Why?

Because his "two pointer" buck is actually some farmer's goat.

[jedimaster91]

Oh good grief. I think my brain just blue screened. I am a city slicker and have been my whole life. But I know the difference between a deer, a cow, a goat, and a horse.

[RetailWorkhorse]

I don't think my brain just did a bsod, I know it. Ow, the stupid, it hurts!

[Chromatix]

My grandfather was a farmer. At least one of my aunts still is.

Even without that, I knew the differences between common animals quite early on. It is, for example, covered in school, but who doesn't show young kids things and get them to learn their names?

[Cooper]

This reminds me of a bit of a tangential story. My Dad loved to play tricks with me. I basically had to stay on my toes all the time. An example of this is when we were taking a trip that we made about once a week, from Kalamazoo to Detroit. (We had a weekend house in Kalamazoo, that we rented during the summer, and stayed in during the winter, but my school, and my dad's job, were at Detroit.) Because this is Michigan, there was a LOT of farmland in-between here and there.

So, we happen at a point where we're at a stop sign. On one side of the road there's a field full of horses. On the other side is a field full of cows. Of course, Dad asks me to identify the animal I saw out the window.

To this day he insists I can't tell the difference between horses and cows, just to make me mad.

[Aethian]

Mom had a group every year that would sack out at her place every year. Until this past year when someone poached. Now were hoping a late born fawn is going to be a buck since we lost our beautiful buck.

[Thuringwethyl]

My uncle works for the U.S. Dept of Fish and Game and he definitely has some stories...

Basically, where he's stationed the wolves are federally protected (or were at the time of this story). The farmers were Not Happy but most of them just grumbled and took precautions to secure their livestock. However, the Dept. noticed that the local packs were going down in size and started investigating the suspected poaching.

Note: my uncle always said this sort of thing was tricky as, while the Dept. of Fish and Game were Federal, they were not allowed to carry guns. This slowed down things as the agents didn't want to be shot by irate poachers who wanted to avoid federal sentences.

The Dept. recieved a break when they got a call from the post office. Apparently one of the farmers (who was against the local wolf packs) had delivered a box to the post office that dripped blood. When the agents arrived they found that the box contained the remains of one of the local wolves, packed in ice and foil, that was to be shipped to a taxidermist in Canada.
After they got the warrant the agents arrested the farmer who protested his innocence. He shut up when they searched the house and found the home videos, screensavers, and photos of both him and his son with the bodies of the missing wolves.

My uncle said he couldn't help imagining a disgusted taxidermist opening a soggy, bloody box containing decomposing wolf.

[raudf]

Oh good grief. I think my brain just blue screened. I am a city slicker and have been my whole life. But I know the difference between a deer, a cow, a goat, and a horse.

Isn't just city slickers.. some our country kin are just that box of dull rocks stupid. Of course, it doesn't help when we were teens and bored, we'd convince the youngsters that that herds of cattle were actually Dobermans. Every herd of cattle along the bus route was a pack of Dobermans. It was bad enough to fool the ones that didn't raise cattle.. but we even convinced the kid whose dad was the one with the herds of cattle.

And my dad is considering fencing his land and during deer season electrify it. Told him that I don't think it'd stop the drunk deer hunters. He figures at least we'll get some entertainment out of it, though.

[Dreamstalker]

My uncle said he couldn't help imagining a disgusted taxidermist opening a soggy, bloody box containing decomposing wolf.

Nor can I; after that journey, I highly doubt it would be in any condition to stuff. Even if not a protected species, don't postal regulations say you can't mail biological material?

I do possess some wolf 'wool' and a few claws, but I know where they came from.

[Miss Maple Leaf]

Because his "two pointer" buck is actually some farmer's goat.

Was he a Death Eater, perhaps?

/lame Harry Potter seventh book joke.

[wolfie]

And my dad is considering fencing his land and during deer season electrify it. Told him that I don't think it'd stop the drunk deer hunters. He figures at least we'll get some entertainment out of it, though.

Depends on the voltage, and the maximum available current. A standard "fence charger" won't stop the drunk deer hunters, but a 20 amp circuit at 240 VAC definitely will. Too bad that's not legal.

Depending on your jurisdiction, ANY electrification of a perimiter fence might not be legal (i.e. you'd need a non-electrified perimiter fence, with the electric fence inside it).

[Racket_Man]

This reminds me of a bit of a tangential story. My Dad loved to play tricks with me. I basically had to stay on my toes all the time. An example of this is when we were taking a trip that we made about once a week, from Kalamazoo to Detroit. (We had a weekend house in Kalamazoo, that we rented during the summer, and stayed in during the winter, but my school, and my dad's job, were at Detroit.) Because this is Michigan, there was a LOT of farmland in-between here and there.

So, we happen at a point where we're at a stop sign. On one side of the road there's a field full of horses. On the other side is a field full of cows. Of course, Dad asks me to identify the animal I saw out the window.

To this day he insists I can't tell the difference between horses and cows, just to make me mad.

Reminds me of when we traveled between St. Louis and Chicago. LOTS of farmland along I-55. When my daughter was younger, just to give her something to do during the daylight hours , we made her the "official" cow spotter. she could stare STRAIGHT at a FIELD full of COWS and not see any of them or alert us to their presence.

To this day it is a running joke if me and my daughter have to make that run.

Was he a Death Eater, perhaps?

/lame Harry Potter seventh book joke.

No he was Aberfort Dumbeldore.

[Miss Maple Leaf]

she could stare STRAIGHT at a FIELD full of COWS and not see any of them or alert us to their presence.

Sounds like somebody was failing her spot checks.

(Although, I shouldn't really laugh, since I've failed one or two myself. )

No he was Aberfort Dumbeldore.

No, Aberforth knows full well what goats look like. And what exactly their horns are good for as well, trust me.