Dubious Compliments, Inappropriate Conversations, and a Spurious ER Visit

[Sapphire Silk]

Notes from the Sturdy Nurse's last shift at work.

Patient: ITHURTSOHGODITHURTSGIVEMESOMETHINGFORTHEPAINI like your hairITREALLYFUCKINGHURTSOHGODITHURTSARGHH!!

Different. Patients say the oddest things sometimes.

Everyone knew this because the two of them were having phone sex.

Ugh. This is why I hate cell phones in the ER. Sturdy Nurse should tell this guy to get off the phone.

The Spurious ER Visit

A person came to the ER because...
.they were hungry.

Yeah, been there. I had a lot of frequent fliers who'd come in with a "pain" complaint and immediately demand food, which I'd just as promptly deny since I couldn't be sure they didn't have a surgical issue.

Lately the cops have been giving drunk homeless guys the choice between jail & the hospital. I am very annoyed at the cops for giving them a choice, especially since the people who come in know our hospital well enough to claim that they want to kill themselves, granting them an extra day or so of ER time.

This issue is a double edged sword. It's actually safer to let drunks sleep it off in the ER than in the jail. A lot of people have died in jail because they aspirated vomit or had some other medical condition that wasn't adequately addressed by the jail staff.

A lot of my legal nurse consulting cases revolve around issues like this.

But it sure is a pain in the ass for the ER staff.

[trailerparkmedic]

Im betting they were broke and most likely homeless (if they were neither of those, then i take it back. ). Unfortunately, the ER is seen as a warm bed and food source..much like jail.

Lately the cops have been giving drunk homeless guys the choice between jail & the hospital. I am very annoyed at the cops for giving them a choice, especially since the people who come in know our hospital well enough to claim that they want to kill themselves, granting them an extra day or so of ER time.

[Antisocial_Worker]

The first one doesn't sound to bad. Odd, but not bad. Not sure on the 3rd one. There had to be a fast food place nearby.

Nah, it wasn't too bad. Just weird.

[Amina516]

The first one doesn't sound to bad. Odd, but not bad. Not sure on the 3rd one. There had to be a fast food place nearby.

Im betting they were broke and most likely homeless (if they were neither of those, then i take it back. ). Unfortunately, the ER is seen as a warm bed and food source..much like jail.

[Amina516]

We had someone come in with stomach pain. During my assessment, I gathered that the last time they ate something was 2 days ago. Well, no wonder your stomach hurts, honey.

[BEN1972]

The first one doesn't sound to bad. Odd, but not bad. Not sure on the 3rd one. There had to be a fast food place nearby.

[Antisocial_Worker]

Notes from the Sturdy Nurse's last shift at work.

The Dubious Compliment

A patient had been admitted with severe abdominal pain and was parked in the hall waiting for a room to open up.

Patient: ITHURTSOHGODITHURTSGIVEMESOMETHINGFORTHEPAINI like your hairITREALLYFUCKINGHURTSOHGODITHURTSARGHH!!

Sturdy Nurse: What?

Patient: ITHURTSITHURTSITHURTSMAKEITSTOPHURTINGI like your hair, it's really prettyGIVEMESOMETHINGMAKEITSTOPHURTINGOHGODOHGODOHGOD!!

The Inappropriate Conversation

A patient was roaming the ER talking loudly on a cell phone. The person on the other end was the patient's girlfriend. Everyone knew this because the two of them were having phone sex.

The Spurious ER Visit

A person came to the ER because...

......

.........

............they were hungry.