Painfully Unfunny (or Why I Won't Dine-In at My Favorite Restaurant Anymore)

[EricKei]

I've noticed that if you're not on foot, then for some reason that brings out the craptastic attitudes in folks for some reason.

While I won't guess as to his personal motivation because it could easily veer into Fratching, the thing is this...It sounds to me like he was TRYING to get rid of you. He kicked your wheels repeatedly, and he tried to take your food before you ate? o_O Turning tables is one thing, but he was sending a very clear, very unfriendly message: "GTFO."

Best bet -- don't patronize the place at all. If you can, alert the wife to his behavior (or ask a friend to do it), and (as nicely as is reasonable) explain to her that it is why you won't be coming back at all, and telling your friends the reason, as well.

[csquared]

You are much more forgiving than I am. I would not give that place a penny of my money.

If you truly like the place, the biggest favor you can do for them is to let the wife know that her husband is trying to destroy the business.

[firecat88]

Well, a lot of people are saying to go to the authorities, but perhaps it doesn't need to go there.

*snip-a-roo*

Just see what happens if you shoot a quick e-mail. If things don't improve, move from there.

Yeah, I'm kinda thinking this as well. Mom doesn't want me to say anything or make any sort of deal (big or otherwise) about what happened, but I'm considering writing anyway.

[XCashier]

If you don't speak up about how you were treated there nothing will change, so my vote is definitely email them about this.

Exactly. If you don't tell her something's wrong, she won't know it. My only concern is that Hubby Dearest might see the e-mail before she does and delete it.

[Amayis]

You have a lot more restraint than I do. I have 0 tolerance for ignorance in any form - Joking or not. Especially when people are messing around while I'm wheeling.

Still. Kudos for the restraint. People like that piss me off to no end.

[PepperElf]

It might not actually be ADA. The act covers accessibility, but I don't think it covers whether or not someone can be a jerk. Although, it may be covered by other laws depending on how bad his behavior is.

If his behavior isn't bad enough to merit assault or discrimination charges, then perhaps a polite but precise letter detailing why you won't go back. Or if you don't want to use a letter, speak to the wife - or both of them directly. Or ... word-of-mouth.

[firecat88]

If his behavior isn't bad enough to merit assault or discrimination charges, then perhaps a polite but precise letter detailing why you won't go back. Or if you don't want to use a letter, speak to the wife - or both of them directly. Or ... word-of-mouth.

Yeah, I dunno if it be bad enough to be considered an assault or discrimination charge. It's annoying as hell, though. Letter is being written today. I've been kinda sitting on whether or not I should and decided to do it because, otherwise, like y'all have been saying, nothing's going to get fixed. That being said, though, I'm having a hell of a time figuring out exactly how to write this.

EDIT:

I've written my letter. How does this sound?

To Whom It May Concern,

My name is *my name* and I have been a frequent diner at *restaurant* for quite some time. I think the food is fantastic and the location is beautiful. However, after my dining experience there this past Saturday, I feel hesitant to return.

As my mother and I were finishing our dessert, our table was passed by Mr. *owner*, who uttered a comment along the lines of 'Ever hear of smaller bites?' to us that I felt was uncalled for. Not twenty seconds later, I felt two distinct thumps against my wheelchair. This was followed by my being told, again by Mr. *owner*, that I was in the way, despite the fact that I was not sitting at the end of the table and was, in fact, well away from the aisle. Had this been the first incidence of this sort of behavior, I would be willing to overlook it as just a joke. However, such commentary has become an almost-regular part of my trips to the restaurant and, thus, is no longer quite so amusing. In fact, it does make me feel quite a bit like I'm being picked on for being in a wheelchair.

I am not looking for any compensation or anything of that nature. I merely wished to explain my feelings on this and why I will not be dining in the restaurant anytime soon.

Thank you for your time,
~*my name*

[XCashier]

Your letter is very well-written, and hopefully will open their eyes as to how he's been treating the customers. Hopefully that will improve things. If not, perhaps a second, similar letter to the local newspaper would be a good idea.

[firecat88]

Thanks. I was really going for 'Not sounding angry, but very firm about what happened and my opinion on it while also trying to be as polite as possible'. I hope that came across.

[EricKei]

Yeah. Well done! Hopefully, it will reach HER before it reaches HIM.

Keep extra copies, just in case If you can figure out what days/hours he doesn't work, and have someone deliver the letter for you then...^_^

[csquared]

You did an excellent job at keeping it polite and not sounding angry. One thing that is missing is a "call for action" (sorry, my sales training is coming out. And worse still is that I am not that good).

You have stated the you will not be returning. So why should they do anything? You still won't return.

While it is good that you are not asking for a free grab, you should still ask for something. You should ask for an apology. Now if this was a typical employee, I would ask that the employee be "retrained" on proper etiquette. Not sure how you ask that of the owner.

In short, tell them how to win back your business.

I would also suggest you use the "sandwich" technique. You open with a compliment. You should close with a compliment. Sandwich the complaint in between.

I like the fact that you are taking the time to help out a local business. More people need to do that. So often we walk away and never say a word, so they don't know why they lost our business.

Good luck and keep us posted.

[scruff]

I would also suggest you use the "sandwich" technique. You open with a compliment. You should close with a compliment. Sandwich the complaint in between.

I like the fact that you are taking the time to help out a local business. More people need to do that. So often we walk away and never say a word, so they don't know why they lost our business.

I agree it's great you are giving them feedback, without you letting them know that his behaviour was, to put it politely, unwelcoming, he's got a free hand to behave worse to his next customers. But the 'sandwich' technique is not infallible, it can lessen the impact of the complaint, so don't feel obliged to always use it. :-) Good luck.

[PepperElf]

that's very well written. I'd like to know how they respond.

[Seshat]

I would put in a 'call for action', and remove the 'will not be returning' statement; for the same reasons others have stated.

My suggestion for a 'call for action':

I am not looking for compensation or anything of that nature, however I would like to receive an apology for his behaviour. Even better, I would be pleased to hear that he is attending some form of training; perhaps a sensitivity course or program, or one on helpful customer interaction. I love your food, and would hate to see you go out of business over such an easily remedied matter.

Thank you in advance.

Sincerely,
Yadda yadda your name goes here.

[firecat88]

Status: No response yet from anyone, beginning to doubt it'll happen.

Yesterday, Mom had the day off, so we went out for lunch. We avoided this particular restaurant and went to the recently-renovated-and-under-new-management Irish pub up the street from it. New favorite place, even if they do no longer serve boxty.