Parents who won't listen to their (adult) children

[mathnerd]

Isn't that the very definition of the Dunning-Kruger effect?

You beat me to it. When I read that I was planning on posting something along the lines of "there's actually a name for it. It's called the Dunning-Kruger effect." But then I went ahead and scrolled to make sure nobody else said that, and you got to it before me.

[Kristev]

My mother is this way. Not just on politics or religion, but even on the basic choices I make in my life. No matter what I say or do, I'm wrong and worth screaming at. And she wonders why I do not enjoy spending time talking to her, and have even taken to venting online about her.

[CyberLurch]

Not so much any specific experience sort of thing, but I will NOT talk religion or politics with my mother or my grandmother. Each take any disagreement as a personal affront to them, and with each, how could I possibly know anything, I'm so young. I couldn't possibly research and read and listen and form an opinion other than their own.

Religion and/or politics have traditionally been taboo subjects, and up until the rise of the internet were subjects best avoided in polite conversation, because those topics tend to remove the 'polite'.

When asked what my political views are, I simply say that as far as our current crop of candidates go, I'd be happiest if they all spontaneously burst into flames. Every damned one of them.

[Kanalah]

Both of my parents seem to have the view that I'm a "stupid kid who doesn't understand how the world works."

It's funny because when I was 4 I was making bottles for my baby sister and by 12 I was doing all the cooking, cleaning, pet care and yardwork for both mom's house and dad's apartment. But apparently now that I'm 30 I'm a drooling idiot.

[Amanita]

Anyone here familiar with the term "mansplaining"? That's how my mom talks to me- like I couldn't possibly know what I'm talking about, or know more about a given subject than her.

I remember us going to a Chinese restaurant in downtown Halifax- now, I knew exactly where the place was, having gone there by myself a couple of times. I also knew a lot about downtown Halifax, as it was my regular stomping ground at the time. I spent a LOT of time in that area. On the other hand, my mom rarely goes to that part of town, perhaps going down there once or twice a year. So there's my parents standing on the sidewalk, trying to figure out how to get to the restaurant from where we were.
I knew exactly where the place in question was, and a fast way to get there. So of course I said so, offering to show them the way. My mom got PISSED. How dare I think I know more about how to get around downtown on foot than she does? How dare I usurp her place by stepping up and offering to lead the way?
She threatened to leave me in the car while everyone else ate, all for the unforgivable sin of saying "Guys, I know the place you're looking for, come with me".
But then again, my mom has also been known to snap at me for entering a restaurant before she does- WTF?

[An Haddock]

She threatened to leave me in the car while everyone else ate, all for the unforgivable sin of saying "Guys, I know the place you're looking for, come with me".
But then again, my mom has also been known to snap at me for entering a restaurant before she does- WTF?

I think someone like this needs to be called out on their behavior. Sit them down and calmly explain: " Mom - you know I love you, but you're a know-it-all asshole."

[KellyHabersham]

then she pullls out her ipad, which isn't actually an ipad, but an Android tablet. Totally different animal, and anything I just told you to do, ignore, as you don't freaking HAVE an actual ipad. But she calls anything like that one.

That sounds like something my mom might do. She's always getting my Ipod and my cell phone mixed up.

[Aria]

My parents recently micromanaged how much cream I put in my coffee and how I stirred it.

It was a one off, though, so I'm okay with it.

[Mytical]

My mother sent $1100 to a scammer because she wouldn't believe me it was a scam. I finally convinced her before she sent another $1000 to them. *sighs*

[An Haddock]

My mother sent $1100 to a scammer because she wouldn't believe me it was a scam. I finally convinced her before she sent another $1000 to them. *sighs*

You fool! Now she won't get her million dollars from the Prince!

[Deserted]

I believe you mean my million dollars.

[Emmeileia]

I studied Geology in school. My mom once told me it was stupid to go fossil hunting on our local river because there were no fossils there. (It's one of the largest shale beds around, and I've hunted there many times. Successfully)
Now that I am teacher, she constantly wonders why I "waste so much time on weird lessons." Can't I just print the kids a worksheet to fill out?

*le sigh* She's an awesome mom and has helped me through so much, but sometimes...

[Cecily]

My mom was like that. I could be standing in front of an appliance and tell her it's brand XYZ and she would argue with me that it couldn't be. It was the same with a lot of adults in my life. That annoyed me so much growing up that I swore I would never do that to any kids I had.

I never had problems admitting I don't know something and will ask advice from my children because they know stuff I don't. They studied in very different fields and I would be an idiot to ignore their knowledge and experience.

[Catwoman2965]

My parents recently micromanaged how much cream I put in my coffee and how I stirred it.

It was a one off, though, so I'm okay with it.

My grandmother did that to me once. In college, over Christmas break, i did an internship at a small museum in the town she lived in. I didn't have a car, so I stayed with her during the week, and came back to my parents on the weekends. she lived like 15 miles but it wasn't convenient for my parents to bring me and drop me off.

So on more than one occasion, she'd tell me I was putting too much butter on my toast. Um yes, maybe i did, but I like butter on my toast and I put butter on pretty much nothing else. But she knew better.

As I got older, losing weight. She told me she'd give me a substantial sum of money if i got down to a very specific weight. Um really?So if I weigh one pound more you won't give it to me? She had no clue. She also told me when SHE needed to "reduce" she'd cut one thing out. like bread. Sorry. not happening.

[Jay 2K Winger]

My paternal grandmother had particular ways she thought my Mom should raise her children (ie me and my sister). Now, to be fair, Grandma's views were not bad ones, but her approach to it was what sometimes irked Mom, which boiled down to Mom's view was "Let me do the mothering, not you."

Which is why one time when the grandparents were visiting and we were eating dinner, Mom got quite angry when Grandma smacked my sister's elbow off the table. Mom agrees with the belief that elbows should not be resting on the table while eating dinner, but disagreed with Grandma's more-physical approach to correcting it.