Rude old men

[tollbaby]

::chuckle:: Yeah, but I don't think my FIL would appreciate me drumming up business like that.

Somehow, I don't think your FIL would want his clients being sexually inappropriate with his daughter-in-law either...

I understand the whole non-confrontational thing... however, you've just given this asshat the message that there are no consequences to his behavior, so it's fine for him to continue behaving that way. And if my boyfriend was sitting next to me and failed to say something about that? You can bet he'd have gotten an earful and maybe a whack or two from me.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

I'm with you. I'd be more pissed at the husband or boyfriend than I would be at the old fart.

[Kogarashi]

:: I guess we'll just have to have different opinions, then. Personally, I think it's the old guy's wife's job to discipline him, not me. And I didn't really want to give him the pleasure of any reaction from me. He probably would've liked that too much.

But anyway, I'm not mad at my husband. We did talk it over in the car later and came to an understanding, but I didn't feel that part was necessary to the telling of the story.

[blas]

Getting pissed at the boyfriend just makes them more pissed. Cuz ya know, it's the right of being a man to be able to oogle at every girl in site, even if you are happily married or taken.

My mom punches my dad every time he makes a comment about young girls or she catches him drooling. Except my dad is a gentleman and doesn't whistle or catcall or sexually harrass girls. He keeps it to himself....and my mom. I don't think she'll ever realize that punching a man twice your weight and a foot and 3 inches taller than you doesn't hurt him at all.

I remember up until a year or so ago, when I was dating a guy and I'd see him looking at other girls, I'd go as far as to punch them really hard in the arm or nearly snap their neck back the other way so they'd look at me instead. Nowadays I just roll my eyes and figure that we'll make it equal and surely he won't mind if I stare at other guys and be totally obvious about it.

I once thought I was beautiful enough to make any man satisfied enough to not need to look at other women. I was wrong.

[Kiwi]

Um, why didn't your husband knock the living shit out of that old arsewipe? Or at the very least, say something to him?

Forget the husband, if anyone had said crap like that to me, I would have knocked the "living shit" out of them myself. I have on many occasions to, a few guys in highschool got a little to fresh for my liking and were repaid with a good slap and some seriously harsh words. They never made that mistake twice.

Nevermind that the staff had an obligation to protect their clients from abuse, I have also stepped in when customers are having words. I would NEVER let someone speak to a customer like that under my watch.

[Kogarashi]

Eh, I won't worry about it. It's in the past now.

Though in response to his "Don't pretend you know how to read" comment, If I'd thought faster on my feet I probably would have launched into some long-winded diatribe containing several large vocabulary words that I've picked up from reading (been reading since I was 3), or something else to demonstrate my English degree. ::harumph::

[blas]

Remember, he's an old fart.

Women weren't allowed to read, let alone vote, back in his days.

Oh wait....nevermind. They probably were. But any women who followed Susan B Anthony and fought for their rights were shunned by assholes like this.

[Talon]

I'm with you. I'd be more pissed at the husband or boyfriend than I would be at the old fart.

With all due respect, and flame me if you wish, but I don't think you're being very fair. If the OP had tried to put the old fool in his place while her husband did nothing, then he'd deserve more contempt.

This isn't the 1950's, women have rights. But that cuts both ways. I agree that the OP's husband should have said or done something, but the OP should have as well. I'm also not confrontational, and I'm not a big man either. I believe in not rising to the challenges of fools just to become a fool yourself. But I've also learned the hard way: if you aren't willing to stand up for yourself, no one else will do it for you.

Once when I was riding the bus home from work, I had an altercation with another rider. I had the window seat and he had the aisle, but didn't move when my stop came. I admit I was a bit sucky, brushing past him before excusing myself. He got nasty, threatened to put his fist in my effing forehead. He was a bigger man than I. I didn't say a word. I just looked him right in the eye with all the coldness I could muster. Took all of 3 seconds. He got the message and shut up.

So I'm not suggesting the OP raise a huge stink, but there are other ways.

[protege]

That's when you roll up the magazine and hit the old sleazebag over the head. Like so: Especially if it's a big, heavy magazine like Rolling Stone.

Nah, a rolled-up issue of Classic & Sportscar works much better

But seriously, most guys (and you ladies too!) are going to look. We all like T&A, so let's not deny it However, how we react when seeing it is where things end. I'm discreet about it--a quick glance and that's it. I don't spend my time hitting on the ladies, even more so if a SO is present--I'm not about to get my ass kicked. A quick "hello" here is enough. I guess that's the reason I had so many female friends in college. They knew that I was *not* going to hit on them constantly, so they felt comfy around me. Sure, we'd pick on each other, but that was pretty much it.

When I was dating my last girlfriend, we had an understanding--look but don't touch. Worked like a charm

Some guys though, won't take a hint, and ignoring them will *not* work. My then-gf's ex was like that. He wouldn't leave her alone. He'd show up at college, follow us on dates, and just be a prick. Taking out a PFA on his ass didn't work--by the cops came around to chase him off, he'd be long gone.

Some of you already know about this...I put him in his place one afternoon. Not directly, but I scared the crap out of him. She'd invited me to a party at her mother's place...and after a few hours, he showed up, and begged her mother to come in GF was *very* freaked out by this. Keep in mind that he's bigger than I am...

As we're cleaning up the dishes, I let it slip that if I found out he was hurting her, or had hurt her, I'd kill him. With that, I stuck the knife I was washing into the counter. Unknown to me, he was eavesdropping from the doorway. He heard that, saw the knife, and took off! Never had a problem with him again after that!

All he needed was someone to tell him what's up--he had the stones to push her around, but not me. Apparently I give off a "don't fuck with me" vibe or something. He always left me alone after that--even avoiding me on the street whenever possible, and usually crossing, or turning around. Now he was doing the same to her--just the reaction we wanted.

Quite a few guys are like that--if someone confronts them, they'll puss out and leave you alone.

[iradney]

When I was dating my last girlfriend, we had an understanding--look but don't touch. Worked like a charm

Yup, TTO and I have the same agreement. Hell, sometimes I point out a hot chick to him and go "Phwoaaaaaaaar."
My thinking on the matter is, why go out for a BigMac when there's Grade A Steak at home??

Like I've said before, this is the millenium. There is nothing wrong with a woman telling a lech to stick his opinion where the sun don't shine. If he gets physically threatening, then the SO might wanna step in, but TTO knows me well enough to know that if someone tries that with me, I have no problem with fighting dirty

[symposes]

Hell I work on a college campus.
One of the guys I work with has a girlfriend that will ask him if he looks at the girls on campus.
His reply? "Of course I look, What do you expect me to do, work with my eyes closed?"

[IT Grunt]

When I was dating my last girlfriend, we had an understanding--look but don't touch. Worked like a charm

My mom and my dad had an understanding like this. Dad always liked to 'window shop' as it were. Case in point: We were at the beach, and dad had borrowed grandpa's camcorder (one of the large ones that used full size VHS tapes), and was getting video of us kids playing in the surf. After the vacation, we watched it. At one point, the camera moves off of us, and looks down the beach and zooms in on a pair of younger ladies sunbathing on the beach, then back to us kids. Mom just looks at him with the look, and he puts on this big goofy grin and says, "What?" We all just laughed.

Back to the OP and the other side of the coin, my wife had an issue with a guy like that who lives in our neighborhood. Unfortunately, I wasn't there to witness it, but given her reaction, I trust that it did happen. Since then she's avoided him successfully. It started when she was taking our dog for a walk. He and his son are sitting on the porch, and his son fawns over the dog so she stops to talk for a few minutes. During the conversation, he says, "You know, you look like someone who likes to mess around." She made tracks. The second time, she was walking down the street, he actually came out and asked her to sleep with him! "I haven't had any in 20 years!" She has avoided that street ever since. We let the police know, and if he actually makes a move, we'll press charges. So far, he's not really broken any laws. We found out during our talks with the sheriff, my wife's not the only one who's had trouble with him.

[XCashier]

The second time, she was walking down the street, he actually came out and asked her to sleep with him! "I haven't had any in 20 years!"

"Gee, that's a surprise." Yeah, I'm sure all the women in the neighborhood are just lining up to sleep with that loser. Glad you told the police. If he tries anything stupid, he's in for a world of hurt.

[blas]

ITGrunt, I'm awfully sorry that woman had to put up with my uncle.

[Kogarashi]

Some guys though, won't take a hint, and ignoring them will *not* work.

But I do believe in attempting to ignore first, to see if they *do* take the hint. Which this guy apparently did, as he stopped his harassment after those two comments. That's why I think he was trying to get a reaction, any reaction, and gave up when I didn't even so much as look at him for more than two seconds. If he had pursued harassing me, I would've responded. I talked to Hubby again about this last night, and he confirmed that part of the reason he didn't say or do anything is because he knew that between the two of us, I was likely to react quicker about it and could take care of myself.

As for the office staff, I don't believe the receptionist heard anything, and again, I wasn't about to raise a stink of any sort. I highly doubt I'll ever see him again (as FIL's office is in Texas, and I live in CT). If I do, and he does it again, then all bets are off.