Sucky RELATIVES

[Hello Kitty]

My uncle T is crazy. A neighbor house was undergoing extensive remodeling and unoccupied. Uncle T decides to STEAL construction materials and complained when he was forced to give it back. He hasn't spoken to our side of the family for 30 years, he thinks as the eldest he should have inherited his parent's house - even though he hadn't worked on his parent's farm that was the condition for inheriting.

Spouse has an aunt that is literally bat shit crazy. She draws arrows on her walls and ceilings, and always complains that the hippies are out to get her.

Spouse has a cousin married a man that raped another cousin. The married couple and the rape victim cousin no longer speak to each other. (And they claim to be very religious and good church going people).

And of course we have the garden variety loser always borrowing money relative.

So, what are your sucky relative stories?

[protege]

I could write a book about my sucky relatives

I don't really know my father's side very well...other than my grandmother and aunt. We hear from them only about once a year. Because of this, it'd like they want nothing to do with us. Grandma's not too far away, but *never* comes over. If she's invited to a family event, one of us has to go get her. Never mind that she has her own car...

On my mother's side...I have an uncle (her older brother) who is an asshole. Trust me, I'm being nice This fool comes home (i.e., to see Grandma) about once a year. The rest of the time, he's too busy sitting on his ass or going to church. When he does come home, most of his time is spent reading the Bible with his wife (equally annoying), or giving my mother crap about Grandma's care. Because he's Born Again--which I have no problem with--he claims to be better than the rest of us. Quite a few of us can't stand him, mainly because of some of his views. For example, when my grandmother was nearly killed in a '94 car accident, my uncle started spouting off about he was a "good Christian," and didn't want the guy punished. The rest of us were like "Are you fucking kidding me? She was damn near killed, has serious medical bills...and you see nothing wrong with that?" Needless to say, when he told me that (at the hospital, no less!) it took all I had *not* to jump the table, and throttle him!

His son, M, who I haven't seen since Grandpa's funeral 20 years ago, is pretty fucked up. He's apparently resentful of the rest of us grandkids--we all chose to make something of ourselves. He, on the other hand, got thrown out of college for academic reasons, has had *numerous* run-ins with campus security and the police, bounced around from job to job (as soon as he'd get some responsibility, he'd quit), and just walked out on his wife and 3 kids

[ArcticChicken]

So, you know that Rabbi, in Cherry Hill, NJ? The one that hired a hit man to kill his wife? Yeah, I'm related to him. So, so, glad my mom was adopted.

Other flashy relatives include a cousin that who's apparently a famous writer of lesbian erotica, another cousin who may or may not have been attacked by an infamous serial killer (I can't remember which one), and a cousin who was killed by a mob hit (long before I was born).

(Note: I don't actually know any of these people personally, and by "cousin" I mean, "x cousin, x removed")

[draftermatt]

For the most part my relatives are okay, odd but okay. I have a cousin in Connecticut that's a real bitch, but I never see her.

The only thing that I'm still pissed at is my grandmother's brothers. Her one brother & her sister visited her all the time when she was in the hospital & nursing home. One had health problems so he's excused. But the others were "too busy" right, pushing 80, no jobs, but "too busy" and the drive wasn't an issue since my father offered to take them! Hell, even her brother-in-law (my grandfather's brother) went to see her and my grandfather died 7 years earlier!

I'm still pretty pissed off that they couldn't be bothered to go. I know some of it was "I don't want to see her like that" and I understand, but you know what, she was in the nursing home from August 05 to February 06 when she died. She had good stages and bad, and you never went and saw her. Even when we called to say she's being taken off the feeding tube!

I also have a homicidal manic for a cousin. (Not really, but she could pass) For starters the bitch is bigger than me (I'm 6'-3" 240 lbs) and she's been in trouble with the police for gun violations, breaking a kid's arm when we were 11, etc. Her mother is a loud mouth mooch. The only time you see them is if there is free food and an open invitation, or someone dies. (Didn't see them between 1999 & 2006 if that gives you any clues)

[Gerrinson]

My family enages in spying, lying, cheating, stealing, backstabbing, double dealing, child molestation, rape, attempting to enforce delusions upon the rest of us, stabbing (with a knife), attempted murder, drunk & disorderly, & committed for life to a mental institution. Oh, and vanishing without a trace whilst leaving MY address as the contact for your bookie and coke dealer, both of whom you owe mucho dinero.

That said, I could write page upon page upon page explaining each incident. And that was during the 18 years I was talking to them. It's been 13 more and only my mother failed to get my point until I moved and didn't give her my new address or phone number. Needless to say, I've trimmed several branches off of my family tree.

[iradney]

I don't really have sucky relatives.
Unless you count my uncle by marriage, who is so involved in his own world that, when his wife's sister's husband passed away, he didn't even offer condolences.
My cousins are pretty cool, especially now that they've grown up

[Librarybabe]

Does this count?

David Koresh was a distant cousin....

[GingerBiscuit]

Mine are all pretty alright. But my mums a genealogist and what she could tell you about our ancestors...

[Sheldonrs]

Reading some of these stories makes me appreciate the idiot I had to call my father only because, biologically, he was. Gambler who lost EVERYTHING (and it was a lot), a drinker who tried to hit my Mom (who hit back better than she got)
who walked out on us in the middle of the night, taking the last $40.00 from my Mom' purse, while we were living in a trailer park, which was all we could afford.
Who I saw maybe 3 times after the divorce and he re-married to the woman he was cheating with. The last time I heard from him, he called the high school I was attending to make sure I was still going because if not, then he could stop the child support payments since I was the last one to reach 18. The main reason I went to college was so he would have to pay until I turned 21.
Found out he died when my Mom was dying and had applied for disability and she was informed that she was eligible for widows benefits since she had been married to the schmuck longer than wife #2.

[Aethian]

Wow...some of you have crappy reletives and don't make mine seem all that bad. Except for that *ahem* Father Basterd who married a second wife who has made it her mission to get me introuble at work. Except for the fact that she belongs to one district and I'm safely in another.

I dislike them all! But only hate a couple.

[Shangri-laschild]

Mine are all pretty alright. But my mums a genealogist and what she could tell you about our ancestors...

My dad does that too. He keeps calling me into the room saying "guess who we're related to!"

a drinker who tried to hit my Mom (who hit back better than she got)

Good for her!


My dad's side are all trailer trash for the most part but none of them keep in touch anyway. My mom's mom was an alcoholic. All the aunts and my uncle on that side have their weird quirks. My uncle in law is the scum bag who decided to show me porn and ask me what all I had done sexually when I got caught alone with him one night. The relatives I actually talk to are nice though my aunt I used to talk to wiped as much as she could from my grandpas. Not because she wanted them but because she wanted to sell them for the money and so the other siblings didn't get them.

[Evil Queen]

Lets crack open the family book;
My Dad's Father:
I met my father's father only twice; he was a bastard when I was a baby and he was a bastard when my father's mother died. Mom and I are waiting until the old bastard dies so we can tango in bright red dresses all over his grave. He tried to get my Dad to work for him for years and anytime my Dad did work for him, the bastard would call my daddy a bastard and lazy and everything he is not. Bastard is married to some woman he cheated on Dad's Mother with and left when Dad was a teenager.
My Dad's Mother:
Alcoholic and lazy to boot; the woman never wished my or my sibling happy birthday, merry christmas or anything, got pissed because when we (Mom, Dad, sibling and myself) went down to visit one winter, we locked our cousins out of the pop-up camper and watched a movie (mom says it was Bambi) because it was new and our cousins were being mean to us (we were maybe 6 and our cousins at the time were teenagers).
My Dad's Sisters (he has 4 sisters and 1 half brother)
All money grubbing, selfish twits who can't count or spell. Now, I will give credit to Aunt L, who is the only good sister and does her best to wish us happy holidays and see us when they (she and uncle B) can.

Mom's side (roll our the crazies...)
My Mother's sister:
Incarcerated because she can't take care of herself. Yeah, explain that one to me.
My Mother's other sister: (C)
Actually the daughter of the first sister but since she was unable to take care of a baby, was adopted by my grandparents (Mom's parents). This upset C greatly when she was a teenager because then came along my sibling and I (we're twins) and Papa suddenly had grandbabies to show off and spoil to no end. For this reason and this reason alone C hates us. She's also extremely obese (and this is nice, she blames everyone else for that), rude to no end and dumber then a post!
And a myriad of cousins that all deserve to be euthanized for one reason or another -- and for a certain baby, it would be better if he was just put up for adoption because there's no way he's going to grow up and be okay. The family genius is so dumb I'm amazed she can walk and the one with the baby has never, ever held down the same job for more then two weeks.

[Whyme]

Well, I'm convinced my grandmother has an undiagnosed Narcissistic Personality Disorder. I haven't spoken to her in 8 years. It's too draining.

On 9/11 when my Aunt was trying to found out if her government building was evacuating, my grandmother called her to complain about "all this news" on instead of her soaps, accuse me of stealing her sheets (I didn't by the way), and then when my Aunt said "I think I have to go now, we seem to be evacuating." my grandmother said "Fine! you're the one who complains I never call you!" and hung up on her.

Extorted money from all 3 of her children, despite not needing it. Then said "After all I've done for you!" when caught. If she had just asked instead of being tricky and sneaky and lying, it would be a different kettle of fish.

Hell, I could write a book about the woman. She's the kind who gets mad when the corpse at the funeral gets more attention than her.

My Brother in Law. At least he's sort of amusing. Claims to be a disabled veteran from the Gulf War. He saw no action, and his disability is an ear problem he had since childhood that the military kindly took care of for him. He is twice divorced with 3 kids and tried to avoid paying child support by not working and mooching off his grandmother for 2 years. Didn't have a car, so he would go to parties and make his 70 year old grandma come down to Detroit from her suburb at 1, 2, 3 in the morning to come get him.

Feels government should pay his child support since he "served his country". He's been giving our home phone number as his. Gave our address as his, including on his personal checks which came here (which I returned to bank saying no such person lives here). Did briefly live with us. Until we said if he was going to continue, he needed to contribute at least $50.00 a week. He proceeded to sleep in his car for a few weeks then found someone else to live with, who charges him $40.00 a week. Also won't give us exact address as to where he's living now, so all mail of his that comes here goes back "return to sender". Then doesn't understand why we won't keep his mail for him.

Another BIL is a meth addict and in prison. This is his second time in. Before he went in the 2nd time he and my husband worked at same place. He would grab my husband's bonus checks forge them, take the money, and tell my husband he didn't get a bonus this month. He's lucky my husband refused to press charges since "they're brothers".

Phew. Good to get that out. Nowhere near as bad as some people here, but damn these relatives are draining.

[TTAZ]

I've got two that are the worst of the worst.

My paternal grandfather is the biggest bigot in known creation. He is also an ill-mannered pig that once called my mother a "f***ing b***h" because his quesadilla was too hot. I remember one time the whole family was out to eat one night (so we're talking about 6 to 8 adults and about 6 kids) and the subject of AIDS came up (this was back in the early 90's when babies born with HIV we were really making serious press). My grandfather said in a booming voice, so the whole restaurant could hear (no he wasn't hard of hearing) that "for every baby born with AIDS they should take 12 f*** out into the street and beat them to death."

To this day when I talk to my dad and he says that grandpa says hi, my only response is, "So he's not dead yet. Good to know."

My maternal grandmother (deceased, thank the deities) disowned me when I was an infant because she did not like my father. Told my (half) sister a bunch of lies to get her to move in with her, and once she was established at grandma's the old bitch used my sister to make false claims of sexual abuse against my father. That action meant my early childhood was filled with police officers and child protection agents. The last agent came to see me at school and the school secretary told other parents about it and for years parents would not let their kids play with me and would cross the street rather than walk by my house.

[wagegoth]

Supposedly, several generations back, we were cousins of the James brothers. Yeah, the bank robbers. But most people in that part of the country are probably related.

More recently, it's mostly my stepfather's family. The men are mostly okay; the woman are all narcissistic, psycho hosebeasts. My stepgrandmother treated me like crap. I was literally the redheaded stepchild. I remember her coming back from a long vacation where she visited her son who was an officer in the Army. We had a huge welcome back party for her at our house. She had a gift for every grandchild but me, and handed them out in front of me. My stepfather and his brothers were horrified and quickly rounded up something for me. I sent flowers to her funeral, because my stepdad raised me (story of my birth father below), but I refused to attend.

Her oldest daughter was a good woman. Sadly, she was widowed twice and lost her oldest son before she died.

Her second daughter became a true Holy Roller, Speaking in Tongues, Pentecostal, after being raised Southern Baptist. Her husband finally divorced her. Her daughter became a groupie. Her son joined the Army at 17, after being kicked out of half a dozen military schools.

Her youngest daughter was about 5' 2" and ended up weighing over 400 pounds, trying every diet on the planet. She was the baby of the family and acted like a baby her entire life. Baby voice, little giggles, whining, the works. Her husband left her and filed for divorce. During the six-month California separation period, he was dating someone else and was at Disneyland with this woman and her child when he died suddenly of a heart attack. My stepaunt broke into this woman's home, while the woman was out, to steal everything she could find that might belong to her husband.

My birth father was raised by his grandmother who spoiled him into believing that the world revolves around him. He really seems to believe that when he leaves a room everything stops. The last time I saw him was fourteen years ago, when I ended up leaving my grandfather's house, my husband having hauled me out to the car, because I was in the middle of a screaming argument with the bastard over what a complete loser of a parent he had been. My husband was afraid the bastard was going to hit me. More likely I would have ended up in jail for murder, because the bastard was drunk, and the scotch bottle was a good, heavy one and in my reach.

He never kept a job. He expected my mother to just pack up and move whenever he lost a job and moved on to the next one. I was born after five years of this. And the next time he screwed up and left, she filed for divorce on grounds of desertion. He never paid alimony. He never paid child support. He never bothered to visit me until after my mom remarried, and then only every couple of years. Yep, father of the year material.

I check the Social Security death records now and then to see if he's died, but not yet. We're a long-lived bunch on both sides of the family, regularly making it into our nineties, so it's unlikely he'll kick off soon, unless the drunk manages to piss off the wrong person in the wrong bar.