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First off, there are my paternal grandparents. I haven't seen them since before I was 10. It seems that they didn't really approve of my mother and liked my dad's first (psycho who attacked his car with an axe) wife better.
Among their crimes are refusing to answer the phone, then complaining about lack of contact. They actually had the ringers removed from their phones so they couldn't hear them ring at all. As far as I know, they almost never made calls out. Total number of birthday/Christmas gifts for me was 5. For my brother, 3. Ignored the wedding invitation I mailed out. I didn't expect them to come, and I honestly didnt' want them there, but you'd think the snobs would have enough etiquette to return the RSVP.
My father is an obvious product of their special brand of nurture. When he was little and they'd have their bridge club over, his job was to stay in his room and pretend he didn't exist. He was an only child. He had never witnessed a verbal disagreement between his parents in his life, so when my mother (one of the youngest in a family of 5 kids) first had a fight with him, he thought it was the end of the relationship. He never really figured out what arguments were supposed to be like; it was always the end of the relationship to him.
My father liked to watch TV. He also liked to read the paper. He liked to do both at the same time and would not let anyone else watch anything different. This wouldn't change when he left the house. My mom didn't put up with that particular problem.
My father would horde food. I have never understood why. He would have a family size bag of Doritos and a bag of Hershey's chocolate chips and he'd hide them so nobody else would eat any.
My father is delusional. If he has anything in his possession for more than, say, a week, in his mind that thing would be his and he would "remember" always having it. This went for anything. He is also a champion hoarder. Several years back, we agreed to store some things for him for a while because he had no place to live. Among what we eventually discarded were empty and broken plastic bottles for things like transmission fluid, clean but ratty socks (which he never wore
), and at least one bed pan stolen from a hospital.
Finally, my father is a speed freak who has done so much speed that he's suffered strokes, can barely speak, refuses to do anything related to work, and if you let him stay with you, he will invite all of his speed freak pals over and deal speed out of your house. We're just hoping that his parents kick it before he does so we'll at least get some of their millions. We're not holding our breath, however.
My mother has her quirks, but she's got her head screwed on straight and raised me and my brother to be sane. I was going to say she raised us to be responsible adults, but I'm not sure yet whether it's finally stuck with my brother. He's 34, now, and I think he might have started actually acting to make his life better rather than just talking big about his plans. Now if only I could get him to give me my freaking CDs back. I'd ask for the $8k he owes me, but I know a lost cause when I have one.
And then, there is my oldest aunt (OA). She is a piece of work. When she was a baby, she didn't like to be held. I think that was as clear a sign as you could ask for.
OA got herself pregnant when still a teen so that she could get out of the house. Which baffles her siblings, since their home life was actually pretty decent. When her first son was still young, she divorced his father and lived on her own for a bit before marrying a second time.
Her second marriage lasted longer, and she had two more kids, a second son and a daughter. Her husband had been of modest means, but had a drive to succeed and through frugality and hard work eventually became a millionaire. But by that time she had divorced him, too, and was spreading all sorts of stories about how badly he had treated her. He has since made an effort to be known by the family, and turns out to be a rather decent guy.
Shortly after breaking up with husband #2, she begged my youngest aunt (my mother's twin) to let her move in with her two young children (the oldest had been kicked out at 17) in YA's apartment. For a while, all went well. Then came the police visit where the police told YA that OA had called them with reports that son #2 had nightmares and couldn't sleep because he was afraid that YA would murder them all in their beds. OA managed to manipulate things to the point where YA was kicked out of her own apartment!
Among OA's other faults is her inability to hold a job. It's not that she can't, it's that she won't. She always quits a the first sign of any effort being required, and is always chasing after the next thing. She's also a rude, entitled, mooch. If she is allowed to stay anywhere she will set up her sewing all over every available surface, including any floor space. She will not voluntarily pick any of it up. She will also eat any food on the premises, no matter what it is, or where it is kept. This includes going into a private bedroom, rifling through drawers, and then eating the chocolate kept there. (that is what got her banned from every setting foot on son #1 and family's doorstep ever again) When she cooks, she never cleans. She will leave dishes in the sink until they grow moldy. She will also suggest to the owner of the house (whose food she is eating) that they should be the ones to clean up after her.
At one point, OA agrees to have my brother live with her for a time as Mom was having trouble making ends meet because my father had lapsed into resource-consuming uselessness, and she hadn't yet given him the boot. Mom offered to send her some money to help cover my brother's care. OA wouldn't accept it. It turns out that OA had told the wellfare office that Mom had abandoned my brother, and she was collecting wellfare checks for taking care of him!
Now, in the meantime, son #2 has found himself a significant other he gets along with quite well. They've gotten married, moved to another state, and he is well on the way to being a millionaire himself to avoid the wretched poverty his mother had subjected him to. He's in real estate and he's rather well suited to the job.
OA tells Mom and YA that she needs a ride to pick up some things she left with son #2. She explains that it's all worked out, that he has an RV that they can stay in while they're there, and that it will be a short visit. Mom and YA reluctantly agree, knowing what a raving bitch OA can be. So they get things squared away and make the more-than-a-day drive to son #2's place. When they get there, son #2 expresses his surprise and incredible dismay to find OA darkening his doorstep. You see, he's actually threatened to shoot her should she show up at any place he is staying with more than an overnight bag.
It turns out that OA not only didn't have permission to visit son #2, but that she had never contacted him about coming at all, and certain had never mentioned bringing Mom and YA. Everyone realizes that the reason she got Mom and YA to drive her there was because son #2 actually likes Mom and YA and won't throw them out, especially when it's OA's fault that they've arrived. An incredibly awkward and unpleasant time is had by all except OA who seems to either like causing trouble or is otherwise oblivious to how much strife she causes. Before they left, son #2 actually took Mom and YA aside and let them know that they were welcome to come visit any time, just so long as OA wasn't with them.
Oh, and OA is the type of person that when she knows that someone has planned a surprise for someone else, she will preemptively break the surprise to the person it's been planned for so she can steal the thunder from the people who actually planned and worked on the surprise. She'll even tell these people that she had something to do with it, when the only thing she did was listen and then go behind their backs to spoil said surprise.
^-.-^
Among their crimes are refusing to answer the phone, then complaining about lack of contact. They actually had the ringers removed from their phones so they couldn't hear them ring at all. As far as I know, they almost never made calls out. Total number of birthday/Christmas gifts for me was 5. For my brother, 3. Ignored the wedding invitation I mailed out. I didn't expect them to come, and I honestly didnt' want them there, but you'd think the snobs would have enough etiquette to return the RSVP.
My father is an obvious product of their special brand of nurture. When he was little and they'd have their bridge club over, his job was to stay in his room and pretend he didn't exist. He was an only child. He had never witnessed a verbal disagreement between his parents in his life, so when my mother (one of the youngest in a family of 5 kids) first had a fight with him, he thought it was the end of the relationship. He never really figured out what arguments were supposed to be like; it was always the end of the relationship to him.
My father liked to watch TV. He also liked to read the paper. He liked to do both at the same time and would not let anyone else watch anything different. This wouldn't change when he left the house. My mom didn't put up with that particular problem.
My father would horde food. I have never understood why. He would have a family size bag of Doritos and a bag of Hershey's chocolate chips and he'd hide them so nobody else would eat any.
My father is delusional. If he has anything in his possession for more than, say, a week, in his mind that thing would be his and he would "remember" always having it. This went for anything. He is also a champion hoarder. Several years back, we agreed to store some things for him for a while because he had no place to live. Among what we eventually discarded were empty and broken plastic bottles for things like transmission fluid, clean but ratty socks (which he never wore
), and at least one bed pan stolen from a hospital.Finally, my father is a speed freak who has done so much speed that he's suffered strokes, can barely speak, refuses to do anything related to work, and if you let him stay with you, he will invite all of his speed freak pals over and deal speed out of your house. We're just hoping that his parents kick it before he does so we'll at least get some of their millions. We're not holding our breath, however.
My mother has her quirks, but she's got her head screwed on straight and raised me and my brother to be sane. I was going to say she raised us to be responsible adults, but I'm not sure yet whether it's finally stuck with my brother. He's 34, now, and I think he might have started actually acting to make his life better rather than just talking big about his plans. Now if only I could get him to give me my freaking CDs back. I'd ask for the $8k he owes me, but I know a lost cause when I have one.
And then, there is my oldest aunt (OA). She is a piece of work. When she was a baby, she didn't like to be held. I think that was as clear a sign as you could ask for.
OA got herself pregnant when still a teen so that she could get out of the house. Which baffles her siblings, since their home life was actually pretty decent. When her first son was still young, she divorced his father and lived on her own for a bit before marrying a second time.
Her second marriage lasted longer, and she had two more kids, a second son and a daughter. Her husband had been of modest means, but had a drive to succeed and through frugality and hard work eventually became a millionaire. But by that time she had divorced him, too, and was spreading all sorts of stories about how badly he had treated her. He has since made an effort to be known by the family, and turns out to be a rather decent guy.
Shortly after breaking up with husband #2, she begged my youngest aunt (my mother's twin) to let her move in with her two young children (the oldest had been kicked out at 17) in YA's apartment. For a while, all went well. Then came the police visit where the police told YA that OA had called them with reports that son #2 had nightmares and couldn't sleep because he was afraid that YA would murder them all in their beds. OA managed to manipulate things to the point where YA was kicked out of her own apartment!
Among OA's other faults is her inability to hold a job. It's not that she can't, it's that she won't. She always quits a the first sign of any effort being required, and is always chasing after the next thing. She's also a rude, entitled, mooch. If she is allowed to stay anywhere she will set up her sewing all over every available surface, including any floor space. She will not voluntarily pick any of it up. She will also eat any food on the premises, no matter what it is, or where it is kept. This includes going into a private bedroom, rifling through drawers, and then eating the chocolate kept there. (that is what got her banned from every setting foot on son #1 and family's doorstep ever again) When she cooks, she never cleans. She will leave dishes in the sink until they grow moldy. She will also suggest to the owner of the house (whose food she is eating) that they should be the ones to clean up after her.
At one point, OA agrees to have my brother live with her for a time as Mom was having trouble making ends meet because my father had lapsed into resource-consuming uselessness, and she hadn't yet given him the boot. Mom offered to send her some money to help cover my brother's care. OA wouldn't accept it. It turns out that OA had told the wellfare office that Mom had abandoned my brother, and she was collecting wellfare checks for taking care of him!
Now, in the meantime, son #2 has found himself a significant other he gets along with quite well. They've gotten married, moved to another state, and he is well on the way to being a millionaire himself to avoid the wretched poverty his mother had subjected him to. He's in real estate and he's rather well suited to the job.
OA tells Mom and YA that she needs a ride to pick up some things she left with son #2. She explains that it's all worked out, that he has an RV that they can stay in while they're there, and that it will be a short visit. Mom and YA reluctantly agree, knowing what a raving bitch OA can be. So they get things squared away and make the more-than-a-day drive to son #2's place. When they get there, son #2 expresses his surprise and incredible dismay to find OA darkening his doorstep. You see, he's actually threatened to shoot her should she show up at any place he is staying with more than an overnight bag.
It turns out that OA not only didn't have permission to visit son #2, but that she had never contacted him about coming at all, and certain had never mentioned bringing Mom and YA. Everyone realizes that the reason she got Mom and YA to drive her there was because son #2 actually likes Mom and YA and won't throw them out, especially when it's OA's fault that they've arrived. An incredibly awkward and unpleasant time is had by all except OA who seems to either like causing trouble or is otherwise oblivious to how much strife she causes. Before they left, son #2 actually took Mom and YA aside and let them know that they were welcome to come visit any time, just so long as OA wasn't with them.
Oh, and OA is the type of person that when she knows that someone has planned a surprise for someone else, she will preemptively break the surprise to the person it's been planned for so she can steal the thunder from the people who actually planned and worked on the surprise. She'll even tell these people that she had something to do with it, when the only thing she did was listen and then go behind their backs to spoil said surprise.
^-.-^
) and pried the lock off.
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