I just remembered this. I mean really. I forgot what brought it up, but the story struck me as curious at the time, and now that I look back I find it rather hilarious.
Back in 99-01, I worked for a chain of stores called Moore's. Officially I was a Jr. Asst. Manager. Now that sounds like a huge title, but to be honest it didn't mean much at all. Just that I hadn't been trained in all the company management classes. I could do pretty much anything the manager did, with only a few limited allowances. Part of my duties was to work in the Men's Department, where I was the "head" of the department. I also did returns as well as suit sales. (trust me this will be important later.)
In the spring of 00, we got in some rather curious types of clothing. I say curious because at the time I found myself looking at them thinking who the HELL (pardon the language) would buy this crap? Sure, the store sold crappy stuff to begin with, but this junk took the cake. First off were the vests. We got in three colors. The first being a tasteful charcoal, the second being a nice blue, and the third being a bright assed day glow orange. So bright it'd give you a headache if you stared at it too long. Along with this came a series of Union bay buttondown shirts, a dozen or so assorted colors, with Orange, Green, and Snot Yellow being the worst sellers. People wouldn't buy them even when they were half off. Lastly were these very odd pants. Micro fiber things that would repell water right up until you decided to put water on them to demonstrate this to a tough sell. Now, by itself most of this stuff might have sold quite well. However we got it all in one lump sum. In fact I distinctly remember the manager looking into the box and then saying to me "I think Gary (the buyer) is upset he didn't get a raise this year..."
Summer rolled around and I had to consolidate things. So everything was sorted by price (not so much style) on various racks, with most of the orange, green, and snot yellow crap being stuck on one huge rack in the back of the store. There it sat forgotten until June.
Mid June, this guy comes in looking for something to be "tight." I did not understand "tight" and thought he was a "wad" but that's just me. Then again his pants were so loose, I hoped "tight" was a good change. Showing him around the department, I'm shocked when he starts picking stuff off the crap rack. Leaving him to that, I go do an override and find when I return that he's picked out a rather nice outfit. Bad choice of color of course, but a nice outfit.
Oh, the color? Orange. Orange vest, orange shirt, orange microfiber pants, and black boots. Uh...
So I check him out, thankful to be rid of most of that. So the story ends right?
Wrong.
Couple weeks later, Orange boy comes wandering in. He heads back and starts shopping again, though this time I note he's giving the orange clothing a wide berth. Huh. Someone told him he looked like an idiot? No...
While he's checking out, the guy looks at me and laughs, remembering I'd checked him out before. He relates his experiences and I'm sad to say I laughed in his face. Though, he was laughing too so I don't feel too bad.
Orange boy dresses up in all his clothing and heads up to Atlanta for spring break. While there he's got his "tight" all orange outfit on. While walking up the sidewalk to get to one of the many bars, Orange Boy's spring break is cut short when a police officer draws a tazer on him and orders orange to stop where he is...or else. Orange of course curses "da man" which is a bad idea. He wakes up in jail with a funky burning sensation on his limbs and most of his chest hair burned off. Furthermore, on closer inspection he notes that the nice vest he bought, is melted over his left breast. It takes six hours for them to sort out that "orange" is not the inmate who walked away from a work detail, and that his only crime (other than being stupid to a cop with a tazer) is a bad choice of clothing.
Back in 99-01, I worked for a chain of stores called Moore's. Officially I was a Jr. Asst. Manager. Now that sounds like a huge title, but to be honest it didn't mean much at all. Just that I hadn't been trained in all the company management classes. I could do pretty much anything the manager did, with only a few limited allowances. Part of my duties was to work in the Men's Department, where I was the "head" of the department. I also did returns as well as suit sales. (trust me this will be important later.)
In the spring of 00, we got in some rather curious types of clothing. I say curious because at the time I found myself looking at them thinking who the HELL (pardon the language) would buy this crap? Sure, the store sold crappy stuff to begin with, but this junk took the cake. First off were the vests. We got in three colors. The first being a tasteful charcoal, the second being a nice blue, and the third being a bright assed day glow orange. So bright it'd give you a headache if you stared at it too long. Along with this came a series of Union bay buttondown shirts, a dozen or so assorted colors, with Orange, Green, and Snot Yellow being the worst sellers. People wouldn't buy them even when they were half off. Lastly were these very odd pants. Micro fiber things that would repell water right up until you decided to put water on them to demonstrate this to a tough sell. Now, by itself most of this stuff might have sold quite well. However we got it all in one lump sum. In fact I distinctly remember the manager looking into the box and then saying to me "I think Gary (the buyer) is upset he didn't get a raise this year..."
Summer rolled around and I had to consolidate things. So everything was sorted by price (not so much style) on various racks, with most of the orange, green, and snot yellow crap being stuck on one huge rack in the back of the store. There it sat forgotten until June.
Mid June, this guy comes in looking for something to be "tight." I did not understand "tight" and thought he was a "wad" but that's just me. Then again his pants were so loose, I hoped "tight" was a good change. Showing him around the department, I'm shocked when he starts picking stuff off the crap rack. Leaving him to that, I go do an override and find when I return that he's picked out a rather nice outfit. Bad choice of color of course, but a nice outfit.
Oh, the color? Orange. Orange vest, orange shirt, orange microfiber pants, and black boots. Uh...
So I check him out, thankful to be rid of most of that. So the story ends right?
Wrong.
Couple weeks later, Orange boy comes wandering in. He heads back and starts shopping again, though this time I note he's giving the orange clothing a wide berth. Huh. Someone told him he looked like an idiot? No...
While he's checking out, the guy looks at me and laughs, remembering I'd checked him out before. He relates his experiences and I'm sad to say I laughed in his face. Though, he was laughing too so I don't feel too bad.
Orange boy dresses up in all his clothing and heads up to Atlanta for spring break. While there he's got his "tight" all orange outfit on. While walking up the sidewalk to get to one of the many bars, Orange Boy's spring break is cut short when a police officer draws a tazer on him and orders orange to stop where he is...or else. Orange of course curses "da man" which is a bad idea. He wakes up in jail with a funky burning sensation on his limbs and most of his chest hair burned off. Furthermore, on closer inspection he notes that the nice vest he bought, is melted over his left breast. It takes six hours for them to sort out that "orange" is not the inmate who walked away from a work detail, and that his only crime (other than being stupid to a cop with a tazer) is a bad choice of clothing.





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