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  • Bad Color Choice.

    I just remembered this. I mean really. I forgot what brought it up, but the story struck me as curious at the time, and now that I look back I find it rather hilarious.

    Back in 99-01, I worked for a chain of stores called Moore's. Officially I was a Jr. Asst. Manager. Now that sounds like a huge title, but to be honest it didn't mean much at all. Just that I hadn't been trained in all the company management classes. I could do pretty much anything the manager did, with only a few limited allowances. Part of my duties was to work in the Men's Department, where I was the "head" of the department. I also did returns as well as suit sales. (trust me this will be important later.)

    In the spring of 00, we got in some rather curious types of clothing. I say curious because at the time I found myself looking at them thinking who the HELL (pardon the language) would buy this crap? Sure, the store sold crappy stuff to begin with, but this junk took the cake. First off were the vests. We got in three colors. The first being a tasteful charcoal, the second being a nice blue, and the third being a bright assed day glow orange. So bright it'd give you a headache if you stared at it too long. Along with this came a series of Union bay buttondown shirts, a dozen or so assorted colors, with Orange, Green, and Snot Yellow being the worst sellers. People wouldn't buy them even when they were half off. Lastly were these very odd pants. Micro fiber things that would repell water right up until you decided to put water on them to demonstrate this to a tough sell. Now, by itself most of this stuff might have sold quite well. However we got it all in one lump sum. In fact I distinctly remember the manager looking into the box and then saying to me "I think Gary (the buyer) is upset he didn't get a raise this year..."

    Summer rolled around and I had to consolidate things. So everything was sorted by price (not so much style) on various racks, with most of the orange, green, and snot yellow crap being stuck on one huge rack in the back of the store. There it sat forgotten until June.

    Mid June, this guy comes in looking for something to be "tight." I did not understand "tight" and thought he was a "wad" but that's just me. Then again his pants were so loose, I hoped "tight" was a good change. Showing him around the department, I'm shocked when he starts picking stuff off the crap rack. Leaving him to that, I go do an override and find when I return that he's picked out a rather nice outfit. Bad choice of color of course, but a nice outfit.

    Oh, the color? Orange. Orange vest, orange shirt, orange microfiber pants, and black boots. Uh...

    So I check him out, thankful to be rid of most of that. So the story ends right?


    Wrong.


    Couple weeks later, Orange boy comes wandering in. He heads back and starts shopping again, though this time I note he's giving the orange clothing a wide berth. Huh. Someone told him he looked like an idiot? No...

    While he's checking out, the guy looks at me and laughs, remembering I'd checked him out before. He relates his experiences and I'm sad to say I laughed in his face. Though, he was laughing too so I don't feel too bad.

    Orange boy dresses up in all his clothing and heads up to Atlanta for spring break. While there he's got his "tight" all orange outfit on. While walking up the sidewalk to get to one of the many bars, Orange Boy's spring break is cut short when a police officer draws a tazer on him and orders orange to stop where he is...or else. Orange of course curses "da man" which is a bad idea. He wakes up in jail with a funky burning sensation on his limbs and most of his chest hair burned off. Furthermore, on closer inspection he notes that the nice vest he bought, is melted over his left breast. It takes six hours for them to sort out that "orange" is not the inmate who walked away from a work detail, and that his only crime (other than being stupid to a cop with a tazer) is a bad choice of clothing.
    Learn wisdom by the follies of others.

  • #2


    Jeez, who would wear an ORANGE suit?! I mean, aside from this guy:
    I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
    My LiveJournal
    A page we can all agree with!

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    • #3
      ouch.... great story though!
      Ridiculous 2009 Predictions: Evil Queen will beat Martha Stewart to death with a muffin pan. All hail Evil Queen! (Some things don't need elaboration.....) -- Jester

      Ridiculous 2010 Predictions: Evil Queen, after escaping prison for last years prediction, goes out and waffle irons Rachel Ray to death. -- SG15Z

      Ridiculous 2011 Prediction: Evil Queen will beat Gordon Ramsay over the head with a cast-iron skillet. -- FireHeart

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      • #4
        Great story. Is this real?

        And whatta idiot for putting it up to "da man". Yeah, you really showed him.
        A lion however, will only devour your corpse, whereas an SC is not sated until they have destroyed your soul. (Quote per infinitemonkies)

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        • #5
          Quoth XCashier View Post

          Jeez, who would wear an ORANGE suit?! I mean, aside from this guy:
          Excuse me while I go into the back room and fangirlishly squee in sounds only dogs can hear. Ignore the blood pouring out of your ears, just a coinidence.
          Last edited by Ree; 04-15-2008, 11:58 AM. Reason: Image edited out of quote
          How was I supposed to know someone was slipping you Birth Control in the food I've been making for you lately?

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          • #6
            Quoth XCashier View Post
            Jeez, who would wear an ORANGE suit?! I mean, aside from this guy:
            Look closely, that coat makes a cameo in the new series in the sequence where David Tennant's Doctor is choosing his new outfit. (Also in that bit is the Tom Baker scarf, which is more obvious because he wears it while flicking through racks of clothes).
            Last edited by Ree; 04-15-2008, 11:59 AM. Reason: Image edited out of quote

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            • #7
              Hey, if orange is good for Bruce, it's good for any Joe Schmoe.

              But it can be hard to tell the difference from a pumpkin suit (jail slang), and safety worker gear.

              ^-.-^
              Faith is about what you do. It's about aspiring to be better and nobler and kinder than you are. It's about making sacrifices for the good of others. - Dresden

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              • #8
                I saw a guy were a lime green suit once...shoes dyed to match. I thought the bride was going to kill him.

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                • #9
                  Quoth Soulstealer View Post
                  Excuse me while I go into the back room and fangirlishly squee in sounds only dogs can hear. Ignore the blood pouring out of your ears, just a coinidence.
                  Don't worry, I'm squeeing along with you. Lotsa Whovians on these boards...have you seen Rattslinger's avatar?
                  I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
                  My LiveJournal
                  A page we can all agree with!

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                  • #10
                    That guard wasn't very observant, was he?
                    He better be careful or he could end up sued someday if he goes around tasering innocent people just because they happen to be wearing a certain colour.

                    How could he mistake a prison issue jumpsuit and a pair of dress pants, vest, and shirt? Aren't most work detail uniforms short sleeved? Maybe I've seen too many movies, but I thought they actually had the name of the prison stamped on the back and the prisoner number on the front, or else they had "INMATE" clearly stamped so the public knows to keep a wide berth.

                    I would be interested to know if the guy sued, because he would have a good case.
                    Too tired of living and too tired to end it. What a conundrum.

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                    • #11
                      Quoth bainsidhe View Post
                      Great story. Is this real?
                      Probably not, but I did get a good laugh out of it!

                      If it were real, I guess I'd have to feel badly for laughing.

                      If you have to ask, it's probably better posted at www.fratching.com

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                      • #12
                        Quoth XCashier View Post

                        Jeez, who would wear an ORANGE suit?!
                        Well, he could have been into Naruto Cosplay.
                        The Rich keep getting richer because they keep doing what it was that made them rich. Ditto the Poor.
                        "Hy kan tell dey is schmot qvestions, dey is makink my head hurt."
                        Hoc spatio locantur.

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                        • #13
                          You know, I think you just solved the retail mystery. When you get your delivery and its got 52 cases of crap that you know will still be taking up space in the back room. It got there because the buyer is pissed that they didn't get a raise this year. Revenge, it's ending up in your back stock area's.
                          My Karma ran over your dogma.

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                          • #14
                            I can think of plenty of people who'd buy that stuff.

                            And think they look good in it.
                            Unseen but seeing
                            oh dear, now they're masquerading as sane-KiaKat
                            There isn't enough interpretive dance in the workplace these days-Irv
                            3rd shift needs love, too
                            RIP, mo bhrionglóid

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                            • #15
                              Quoth BeckySunshine View Post
                              And think they look good in it.
                              And (probably) be completely wrong.
                              "Enough expository banter. It's time we fight like men. And ladies. And ladies who dress like men. For Gilgamesh...IT'S MORPHING TIME!"
                              - Gilgamesh, Final Fantasy V

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