Tomatoes with a touch of Pwnage

[InverseHellion]

So after grocery shopping yesterday I stopped in at a nearby McDonald's for lunch. Plastered everywhere were signs stating that because of the Tomato warning that McD's wasn't serving tomatoes on their burgers. So I get in line and order my heart attack wrapped in wax paper. After I've ordered this man storms up to the till holding a Big Xtra box (that's the Big 'n Tasty for non-Canadians) and starts yelling at the cashier.

I - Idiot
C - Cashier
M - Manager
CJ - Me
(A note: All of I's lines are being yelled, so when I end up going all-caps he's screaming not yelling)

I: You forgot my tomato!
C: I'm very sorry sir but because of the nationwide tomato warning we aren't serving tomatoes right now.
I: What do you mean you aren't serving tomatoes?! I want to see a manager! This is horrible service!
C: Just a moment sir.
~Manager comes over~
M: What's the problem sir?
I: The problem is this useless litch* won't give me a tomato for my burger and I won't accept that!
M: Please don't swear or insult my employees sir. As I'm sure C here has told you, due to the nationwide tomato advisory we are not serving tomatoes right now. This is for your protection as we aren't sure if any of the tomatoes we've received in recent shipments have been contaminated so we've pulled them all.
I: What 'advisory' there's nothing wrong with your tomatoes you're just being racist 'cause I'm black!
M: Sir, the tomato advisory is a nationwide alert that a large crop of tomatoes has been confirmed to be carrying Salmonella. It's been on the news for days now.
I: I don't watch the mother-clucking* news! You're being racist and discriminatory! I WANT A TOMATO GIVE ME A MOTHER-CLUCKING* TOMATO NOW!!
CJ: *reaching into my bag and grabbing one of the on-the-vine tomatoes I'd just bought (since I love Tomatoes and they've been cleared as safe)* Here, take one of mine and leave those people alone. They're just doing their jobs, and the tomato advisory isn't something they've made up. Go into a grocery store, only on-the-vine, grape and cherry tomatoes are still out. Everything else has been pulled due to possible contamination. So take this, sit down, shut up and eat your food. Quit picking on these people because you're too stubborn to take 'no' for an answer.
I: *stares at the tomato in my hand, looking all red and delicious* Uh..er... uh... *leaves without tomato*

Thank yous and food being handed over occurred and I had a lovely lunch.

*He was using colourful words that rhyme with those displayed here.

[iradney]

*standing ovation*
that was beautifully done! Kudos to all concerned (except the SC, may he have bad breath for the rest of his life!)

[unclejampuff]

BRAVO!

[InverseHellion]

*bows* Thank you thank you. I shall now enjoy my nummy tomato and cucumber salad. ^_^

[jnd4rusty]

We are not serving tomatoes in my resturant either and last night I was sure I was going to get complaints but I just had people curious about it and several who said "Yeah! I don't like tomatoes, or Rock on". I even had one person say "Thank You for looking out for me and my health". I was pleasantly surprised at everyones actions to the problem.

[smileyeagle1021]

am i the only one that would be tempted to say "Yes sir, we are being racist, the contaminated tomatoes only affect black people, had you been anything but black the tomatoes would be perfectly safe to eat" or "yes I am a racist, I hate white people which is why I will only serve our contaminated tomatoes to white people"
*and yeah, I am white so I'd like to see the look on the persons face after hearing the second statement*

[Meegz]

Awesome on you for the response!

Stupid on them for being ridiculous about it. I went to BK yesterday, and of course they had their sign up. From the reactions, people would rather have salmonella than have no tomato. I mean, its just silly, having no tomato is the worst thing in life, right????

[smileyeagle1021]

Awesome on you for the response!

Stupid on them for being ridiculous about it. I went to BK yesterday, and of course they had their sign up. From the reactions, people would rather have salmonella than have no tomato. I mean, its just silly, having no tomato is the worst thing in life, right????

you know, tomatoes are good, but I agree with you, who on earth thinks that salmonella is worth it (never had it myself, but I've heard it's like a really bad case of stomach flu, and I've had that before and that was bad enough).

[Bradester]

Aww, I was kinda hoping you were going to smash the tomato in his face.

[Becks]

I've been pondering this for days...What does McD's serve that actually has sliced tomatoes on it/them? The fancier of the chicken sandwiches?

only on-the-vine, grape and cherry tomatoes are still out.

'Tis true.

I got to help haul out tons of tomatoes. And yesterday, if I had a dollar for every time a customer (and/or coworker) asked me where the tomatoes went, I wouldn't have to work for a few months.

Oh, and go figure, the on-the-vine tomatoes sold out in a quickness...and I think the warehouse scratched our order for them yesterday.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

I've been pondering this for days...What does McD's serve that actually has sliced tomatoes on it/them? The fancier of the chicken sandwiches?

Not even. The regular crispy chicken sandwich has a slice of tomato on it.

[InverseHellion]

I've been pondering this for days...What does McD's serve that actually has sliced tomatoes on it/them?

Up here in Canada-land McD's has tomatoes on:

Angus Burger: Garlic sauce, mustard, tomato, leaf lettuce, red onion, pickles, cheese & bacon optional
Crispy/Grill Chicken: Mayo, leaf lettuce, tomato
Big Xtra: Mayo, ketchup, diced onion, shredded lettuce, tomato, pickles, cheese optional
Turkey BLT: mayo, lettuce, tomato

Those are the only ones I remember from working or eating there.

[Ironclad Alibi]

I stopped in a Subway yesterday and ordered a BLT sub. As the guy was making it, he asked what I wanted on it. When I said tomato, he said they didn't have any (I didn't catch the reason he said because of other noise). I responded that I guess it wouldn't be a BLT. So I had a BLCO (bacon-lettuce-cheese-onion) sub instead. I mentioned it to my wife later and she told me about the problem with tomatoes and salmonella. It was the first I had heard of it.

[Nyx]

I wish I had heard of it sooner. Actually I think I did hear it mentioned, but I forgot. I ate a slice of tomato on Sunday and the last 24 hours have been anything but fun. I'll spare you all the details, but there were moments where death was a favorable option.

[BookstoreEscapee]

I have a confession...


It was me...


I hate tomatoes and I was trying to rid the world of the vile things...


Sorry...