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So recently a friend of mine lost a bridesmaid for her wedding. She asked me to fill in if I could manage to get a dress. Thankfully I did and yesterday I went to my first fitting. I also intended to do other shopping needed for the dress while out there since as I've said before, I live in a corn field. Dropped the small fry off with Grandpa and dutifully headed out to deal with the stupid and entitled morons of humanity. God I hate shopping....
Suck 1 Between trucks and hard places: Allow me to speed into this semi for you.
In order to reach said shopping hells I have to use the tollway. The tollway is under construction, as always. Now I HATE tight spaces so I'm already hisses as the concrete barriers close in and my speed drops to the required 45. I'm behind a big truck so I can't see anything but I have plenty of space between me and said truck in case of the need to stop.
Enter moronic woman in her SUV. She gets right up on my rear to the point where I want nothing more then to increase my speed to get away from her. However I have no where to go and I'm certainly not going to close the gap between me and the truck so that in the case of stopping I'm smashed between the semi and this hag's tank. I try tapping my brake to get her off my rear but she completely ignores it. GAH!
What the heck did she want me to do? Duck down and drive my little car under the semi? Sure it would take off my roof and windows but then you'll be that much closer to your destination.
Suck 2 Pwning Paris: Yes I need to be a
can you help me with that?
I get done with my fitting and know that I need a different bra in order to not have straps showing. Now I got huge tracts of land as I've said before. This means no simple run to Target or Victoria's Secret will do for me when it comes to bras. I got to a chain (not sure if it's local or not but it is on the web) called Lane Bryant. The store is made for those well endowed in the butt and bust. Some people however don't seem to understand that you can have big curves and not be overweight. Case in point these 2 Paris Hilton Wanna-bes.
They come into the store which is relatively empty. It's 2 in the afternoon on a weekday so no surprise there. I have 2 workers actually helping me out. These 2 future sex tape victims however are dressed like they are going out clubbing. They are so thin I could break them. They are obviously not in here to shop. Nope, they are making fun of the produces and whispering rather loudly. Things like "Omg look at this tent." (it's a silky nightie thanks) "Is this a bra or a bucket?" (some of us have big boobs thanks).
Thankfully they did not get far. One of the ladies I was talking to went over to 'help customers'.
W: Worker
SC1 & SC2: Paris Hilton wannabe's
W: *in cheery tone* Hi can I help you ladies?
SC1: *looking insulted* Do we look like we need help?
SC2: *in snobbiest tone I've ever heard* Yeah. We're not disgusting obese pigs like you people are who need special shops. *Note: out of the 3 of us only the worker they are talking to could be considered heavy in any way.*
W: *still cheery* Oh, well sorry we can't help you. Perhaps you should try the food court downstairs. They might be able to help you with what you need. I'll even show you to the door.
SC2: Excuse me?
SC1: Are you trying to kick us out?
W: Why yes, yes I am. Please leave.
SC2: You can't kick us out. We're customers.
Let us pause a second here to process this. Both girls effectively stated they were not interested in buying anything, yet now they claim to be customers? Yeah the worker did not buy it either and told them to get out again. Predictably they then demanded a manager. The lady helping me looked up and went. "I agree with my worker. Get out before I call security and have you arrested for harassment."
After the girls left all offended, I made it a point to tell them about the site and that I would be informing folks here of the pwnage.
Event 3 The Non-suck: The uniforms we all want to wear.
I had completely forgotten over the course of the day that I was wearing a t-shirt with writing stamped across my chest. Until I went to pick up some milk on the way home. I went to the self-check out since the registers were kinda busy and I only had one item. For whatever reason the one I picked was stuck on something so I was about to switch when the lady comes over and fixes it.
L: There you are ma'am. By the way I like your shirt.
Me:
*looks down and reads "Stop staring at my shirt"* Oh! Thank you. You should see the ones my husband has. He works customer service to but over the phone. He's got one that says "If you have a problem don't be afraid to ask someone else" and another that says "I'll try to be nicer if you try to be smarter."
L:
He get to wear those to work?
Me: Yep, after all the customers can't see him over the phone.
L: I'd love to wear things like that here with some of the customers we get.
Me: I'm sure many people would love to wear said shirts that work with idiot customers. There's a whole website dedicated to venting about them.
L: Really?? What's the site's name...
Yes I gave it to her too. After all, us poor working people must have release or we'd all go on murderous rampages...
Then again that might not be a bad idea...
Suck 1 Between trucks and hard places: Allow me to speed into this semi for you.
In order to reach said shopping hells I have to use the tollway. The tollway is under construction, as always. Now I HATE tight spaces so I'm already hisses as the concrete barriers close in and my speed drops to the required 45. I'm behind a big truck so I can't see anything but I have plenty of space between me and said truck in case of the need to stop.
Enter moronic woman in her SUV. She gets right up on my rear to the point where I want nothing more then to increase my speed to get away from her. However I have no where to go and I'm certainly not going to close the gap between me and the truck so that in the case of stopping I'm smashed between the semi and this hag's tank. I try tapping my brake to get her off my rear but she completely ignores it. GAH!
What the heck did she want me to do? Duck down and drive my little car under the semi? Sure it would take off my roof and windows but then you'll be that much closer to your destination.
Suck 2 Pwning Paris: Yes I need to be a
can you help me with that?I get done with my fitting and know that I need a different bra in order to not have straps showing. Now I got huge tracts of land as I've said before. This means no simple run to Target or Victoria's Secret will do for me when it comes to bras. I got to a chain (not sure if it's local or not but it is on the web) called Lane Bryant. The store is made for those well endowed in the butt and bust. Some people however don't seem to understand that you can have big curves and not be overweight. Case in point these 2 Paris Hilton Wanna-bes.
They come into the store which is relatively empty. It's 2 in the afternoon on a weekday so no surprise there. I have 2 workers actually helping me out. These 2 future sex tape victims however are dressed like they are going out clubbing. They are so thin I could break them. They are obviously not in here to shop. Nope, they are making fun of the produces and whispering rather loudly. Things like "Omg look at this tent." (it's a silky nightie thanks) "Is this a bra or a bucket?" (some of us have big boobs thanks).
Thankfully they did not get far. One of the ladies I was talking to went over to 'help customers'.
W: Worker
SC1 & SC2: Paris Hilton wannabe's
W: *in cheery tone* Hi can I help you ladies?
SC1: *looking insulted* Do we look like we need help?
SC2: *in snobbiest tone I've ever heard* Yeah. We're not disgusting obese pigs like you people are who need special shops. *Note: out of the 3 of us only the worker they are talking to could be considered heavy in any way.*
W: *still cheery* Oh, well sorry we can't help you. Perhaps you should try the food court downstairs. They might be able to help you with what you need. I'll even show you to the door.
SC2: Excuse me?
SC1: Are you trying to kick us out?
W: Why yes, yes I am. Please leave.
SC2: You can't kick us out. We're customers.
Let us pause a second here to process this. Both girls effectively stated they were not interested in buying anything, yet now they claim to be customers? Yeah the worker did not buy it either and told them to get out again. Predictably they then demanded a manager. The lady helping me looked up and went. "I agree with my worker. Get out before I call security and have you arrested for harassment."
After the girls left all offended, I made it a point to tell them about the site and that I would be informing folks here of the pwnage.
Event 3 The Non-suck: The uniforms we all want to wear.
I had completely forgotten over the course of the day that I was wearing a t-shirt with writing stamped across my chest. Until I went to pick up some milk on the way home. I went to the self-check out since the registers were kinda busy and I only had one item. For whatever reason the one I picked was stuck on something so I was about to switch when the lady comes over and fixes it.
L: There you are ma'am. By the way I like your shirt.
Me:
*looks down and reads "Stop staring at my shirt"* Oh! Thank you. You should see the ones my husband has. He works customer service to but over the phone. He's got one that says "If you have a problem don't be afraid to ask someone else" and another that says "I'll try to be nicer if you try to be smarter."L:
He get to wear those to work?Me: Yep, after all the customers can't see him over the phone.
L: I'd love to wear things like that here with some of the customers we get.
Me: I'm sure many people would love to wear said shirts that work with idiot customers. There's a whole website dedicated to venting about them.
L: Really?? What's the site's name...
Yes I gave it to her too. After all, us poor working people must have release or we'd all go on murderous rampages...
Then again that might not be a bad idea...
and kindly objecting.
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