Religious experience at the supermarket

[RecoveringKinkoid]

We were at Pennsic one year and the guys from my camp were all going to Men Without Pants, which is a big party where all the men have to be regimental and wearing no pants. A lot of kilts get worn. Or, if you are my cousin Ivar, you wear a sheet wrapped as a toga. Ivar at the time had long, waist-length hair and a beard.

You probably see where this is going. A guy at the party had a ballon hit a tiki torch right near his head and go off in his ear. He screamed out "Jesus Christ!!!"
Without missing a beat, Ivar stepped out of the crowd with a serious look on his face and said "Yes, my son?"

You just can't set up a perfect scene like that on purpose.

The other nice thing to dressing like that is that if you show up dressed like The Messiah to a bare-ass party, the door guards will not be too enthusiastic about checking to make sure you aren't cheating. Evidently, nobody wants to stick their hands up Christ's toga and do an undie check on him. Even when he's as cute as Ivar is.

[Jay 2K Winger]

At the wholesale club, one of the managers is named Jesus. I've mentioned him before, I think. It's pronounced like the Christian Savior's name, not like the Hispanic "Hey, Zeus." Sometimes if a coworker mutters "Jesus!" I'll reply, "He's not here today."

And I had a friend at drama camp one summer who we all called Dammit. It was a joke name. A friend of his was introducing everyone at the lunch table, and had a brain burp and forgot his name. "That's So-and-so, that's Jay, and that's ... dammit." Without missing a beat, he said, "Yes, I'm Dammit, but everyone calls me Chris." We called him by his nickname for the rest of the camp. I ended up meeting him again months later at a high school improv competition. I'm talking with one of my teammates, I hear, "Hey, Jay!" I turn around. Blink. "Dammit!"