Bilingual Dine & Dash Pwnage (old)

[Misanthropical]

I tease my children by telling them to translate what they just said from Child to English. Yes, they know I'm weird, why do you ask?

If I'm swearing in German, it means people need to run and hide if they value their lives.

[mikoyan29]

I used to know Fortran, but that was a long time ago. I took some French in high school, but that has since left my brain. Although, if I started reading and listening to it again, I'm sure I could pick it up. I even took a smidgen of Latin but haven't seen any Roman soldiers lately, so alas....

[Zellie Crescent]

Same here . . .but the two I speak are English and Redneck.

Me too. Although I have to ask, traditional or Jeff Foxworthy?

[El Pollo Guerrera]

My former boss spoke German fluently. A former co-irker did not know this little fact about her. He would talk on the phone to his mother about how important he was to the business (he wasn't), how stupid everyone else was (they weren't, especially compared to him) and so on... and she'd just stand at the counter, working and looking like she wasn't listening...

[Plaidman]

About five years ago during my assistant managment training class, a fellow coworker at another store could speak fluent Russian. He told us about the time a family came in, and how grandma was telling her grandkids to steal, how to put in their pockets etc.

She nearly shat a brick and died of embrassment when he spoke to her in fluent Russian to stop telling her kids to steal and to get out of the store now.

[dalesys]

A fellow I worked with was US Air Force, detailed to escort a Soviet SALT (Stategic Arms Limitation Treaty) inspection team around various sites in Utah.

He bade them farewell in fluent Muscovite idiom.

[tropicsgoddess]

English, Dutch and Spanish. Although my Spanish is rusty (took 3 years of it in high school). I understand a good amount of Patois (due to growing up with a bunch of Jamaicans in my neighborhood) but I just don't speak it. I LOVE a good bi-lingual pwnage.

[Chromatix]

I know at least a few words in about half a dozen languages, not counting the computer ones. I can usually identify (but not understand) several more when either written or spoken. It's a useful skill.

A trick I sometimes play is to conduct simple retail transactions entirely in Finnish - while in England. The fact is that for many purposes, the content of the conversation is not relevant, so the game is to see if the other party even notices. However, if the language barrier did become a problem, I would switch back to English to keep things moving.

A friend's son once reputedly stared fixedly at a waitress's breasts and said "Ooooh, ni ni!" This means "milk" in Cantonese...

[Whiskey]

The only other language I know is HTML. I'll never get to pwn nobody.

*sniffles*

When someone inevitably asks you to "fix" their website for free on a job that will take "10 minutes" (read: 3 hours), doesnt bother saying thank you or buy you a beer or six, go back in and delete a semi-colon out of their CSS and/or PHP header file.

[Imogene]

(badaboom?)

Leelo Dallas MultiPass?

[Mamadrae]

Leelo Dallas MultiPass?

Drats I was beaten to it!

*waves hand* Bzzzzttt!

[NightWatch]

When someone inevitably asks you to "fix" their website for free on a job that will take "10 minutes" (read: 3 hours), doesnt bother saying thank you or buy you a beer or six, go back in and delete a semi-colon out of their CSS and/or PHP header file.

See, nerds can totally PWN the crap out of people. I think fewer people know the various types of coding then there are bilingual people out there.

I know a guy named Jose Lopez (this is a common name, I actually know at least 3 people by this name throughout my lifetime), he's hispanic, he looks hispanic, and doesn't speak a lick of Spanish. It's hilarious when people start yammering at him in Spanish and he just looks at them like "huh?" Also, most people assume that a brown dude with dark hair is from Mexico, he's from some other south of the border country that is definitely not Mexico. He gets touchy if ya call him Mexican.

I have a friend who is Korean. However, she doesn't really look it, and a lot of people mistake her for Mexican (as in, specifically from Mexico). Two girls came up to her one day and started talking to her in Spanish like they knew her. She flipped out and yells at them, "I'm F*&%&^$ Korean!!" Then they didn't believe her...

The BF is white, of German descent, with the blonde hair and green eyes. However, he's worked in fast food half his life, and in our area, a LOT of spanish-speakers work in food. So when people say nasty things about him in Spanish, they're a little surpised when he calls them on it, and makes them feel like idiots.

At an old job, I got to play security lady. Some jerkface got mad at me and called me a 'puta'. The following day he asked me to hold his phone at the security desk while he went inside the building, since the employees weren't allowed to take them in. I remembered what he said, I knew what it meant. I smiled and took his phone. I may or may not have done things to it >.> When he came to get it later, I smiled politely and said "Be careful who you're calling a puta." He seemed very uncomfortable around me after that.

[Ironclad Alibi]

At an old job, I got to play security lady. Some jerkface got mad at me and called me a 'puta'. The following day he asked me to hold his phone at the security desk while he went inside the building, since the employees weren't allowed to take them in. I remembered what he said, I knew what it meant. I smiled and took his phone. I may or may not have done things to it >.> When he came to get it later, I smiled politely and said "Be careful who you're calling a puta." He seemed very uncomfortable around me after that.

Now the forums rule say we do not mess with SCs' food, but I don't think it said anything about messing with SCs' phones. So we'd like to know what you might have done to his phone.

[wolfie]

I did once work in a company where most of the programmers only knew COBOL. One guy who was "multilingual" had been told a joke that the punch line depended on knowing FORTRAN, and spent an hour searching the building to find anyone else who knew it so he could tell it. Once he found me, we had a great time laughing our asses off at a joke no one else could get, though.

Yeah, I'm a geek. Been that way since the late 70's.........

Just curious, but did this joke involve something along the lines of "God is real, unless declared integer", based on the typing assigned to an undeclared variable depending on whether the first letter of its name falls inside or outside the range of "I" through "N"?

[depechemodefan]

Mom and me are from Colombia. It's annoying when people think hispanic people only come from Mexico.

I had a woman taking care of my mom. Since my mom has dementia, she sometimes starts speaking Spanish. The woman would say, "I don't speak Mexican". I came by during lunch time and the woman said, "I'll pay for lunch, you can get Mexican food, like tacos or whatever you eat." I went to subway and got sandwiches.