Kids in my Stall and I Want to Harm You

[unholypet]

MINE!
Potty stalls are for one person.
ESPECIALLY if I am in mine.

Doot doot doo.. doing my business- AUGH a child has crawled into my stall!

Me covering my goods: HEY! Please get out of my stall!
Kid is laughing.
Mother: She is JUST playing! Come on, Kid.

Ladies, you understand why I hate a certain week of the month, and moreso when...

Little boy is on the floor staring at me in the middle of my business.
I scream in surprise/horror!
Mother: Oh my god, it's just a child. *yanking kid away*
Me: I hope you taught him about female parts then, he's just been exposed.

And even better, when I am trying to get done with my business.
Kid has hold of my ankle.
Me: Let go of my leg and get out of my stall, please.
Mother is laughing at the kid, taking pictures with her cell phone.
Me: Lady, get your child out of my stall or I will call the mall security.
Mother: Good fjhking god, she's curious and my --
Me: Hello, I'd like to report a mother and child...
Mother yanks kid out.

No, I wasn't seriously on the phone, but I really wish that kind of thing was reportable sometimes. Why does this happen to me so often?!?!


I Want to Harm You

Boyfriend and I walk up to the check-out at Wal-Mart. We have seven items. People behind us have a cartload.

PPL: Ummm.... uh... *taps my shoulder* Can we pass you?
Me: I'm sorry, we've only got seven items and the things are already on the belt
(things include yarn, needles, knife sharpeners, belts, and a machete)
PPL: Well.... uh, we're in a hurry.
Me: I won't take a long time. Promise.
PPL: It's just that... we... we really want to go before you.
Me: No.
PPL: Please?
Me: No.

Boyfriend walks off to get a soda, leaving me stranded -_-

PPL: Look, we're just going to pay with a check and--
Me: Leave me alone. First warning.
PPL: What? Warni--
Me: Seriously. I am no longer speaking to you.

PPL dude taps my shoulder, he has been talking to me while PPL chick is on her phone.

Me: Second warning, touch me again and I will hurt you.
PPL: ARE YOU THREATENING ME?
Me: ...

Honestly... we're in Tennessee, I'm a little girl and you're a guy. Who do you think these southern gentlemen watching are going to hit when this fight breaks out?

Checker lady takes care of my items, giving me a "sorry" look. I nod back to her, when PPL dude starts moving my items to the side!!!

Checker lady made him stop, and called her CSR, and I was taken care of. Checker lady turned her register off and got the CSR to make the PPL leave.

PPL dude flipped me off as I was walking away. I gave him the V =p

[RetailWorkhorse]

Victory is yours. xD

But DAYUM What's with that Mother-And-Kid in the first story? I'd have kicked out just in reflex (....so glad that wasn't me). I think you need to let Mall Security know about them anyhow, in case someone DOES lash out at the kid in reflex.

[Green_Fairy]

Mother: She is JUST playing! Come on, Kid.

but pweshus can do no wrong! don't you know that? /sarcasm

PPL: Well.... uh, we're in a hurry.

and apparently center of the universe. i never understood why people ask to jump ahead. i've offered it when someone has one or two items and i have a cartfull...but never the other way around. what a dick.

[Sliceanddice]

im sorry whats to keep you from screaming and stomping the kid by accident?

[RetailWorkhorse]

Restraint? :\ The inherent I Shall Not Hit A Child gene? ....wait, do I have one of those? Yes, I must have one.

[ZedOmega]

Restraint? :\ The inherent I Shall Not Hit A Child gene? ....wait, do I have one of those? Yes, I must have one.

Just because you can't hit the child doesn't mean you can't slap some sense into the parents...

[Exaspera]

If they were in such a darned hurry, why did they have so much stuff? Everyone waiting for them to bring the party stuff? What's like, 2 whole minutes?

[RetailWorkhorse]

Just because you can't hit the child doesn't mean you can't slap some sense into the parents...

What a loverly idea! Anyone have a baseball bat and tank of gas I can have? I'll happily go back home to TN and open a can of fury on the idiot Mom.

[ZedOmega]

What a loverly idea! Anyone have a baseball bat and tank of gas I can have? I'll happily go back home to TN and open a can of fury on the idiot Mom.

Can I help? I don't have a baseball bat, but I've got a wooden sword...

[RetailWorkhorse]

DEAL! I'll pick you up in San Antonio as soon as I fix the wheel on my skateboard.

[bainsidhe]

I second the adverse kicking reaction. Some strange thing grabs my ankle and I won't be thinking how it might be a child. I'll be squealing in terror (I don't scream, I squeal ), flailing, kicking and hopefully not splashing anything. I know that's gross, but so is allowing your child to crawl on a public bathroom floor and beneath people releaving their bladder.

And as for PPL, why oh why would he bother someone with a machete?

[Magpie]

I can understand kids running and not knowing better. BUT even if they're young enough that you don't think they can learn "no, stay out of bathroom stalls" (at which point, aren't you holding them while you're in there?), laughing when they do it teaches them that it's not just ok, but good to do. And one day the poor kid is either going to be old enough to not have Mommy there, or else Mommy will decide that "they're old enough to know not to do that". And the kid will be horribly confused as to why this is all of a sudden a bad thing.

[Hyndis]

I second the motion. Kick whatever grabbed your leg. Claim its reflex. I would certainly jump and be very surprised if something unexpectedly grabbed me while I was on the toilet.

The kid needs to learn a lesson. Seriously. You do not do that. Ever. I don't care what age, you do not do that.

[chainedbarista]

maybe i'd kick and maybe i'd sear both sets of ears off, then have securtiy remove her inbred ass along with her daughter/niece/sister.

[Green_Fairy]

maybe i'd kick and maybe i'd sear both sets of ears off, then have securtiy remove her inbred ass along with her daughter/niece/sister.

lol not to thread jack, but i know someone that has a sister/cousin