Sexist guy at school sighting

[scruff]

Please remember that by working with your housemates to set rules/guidelines, with a bit of flexibility, you are helping them as well as yourself. They don't know what's acceptable/practical (letting everyone they know use the washer without contributing to bills/ensuring housemates get first go? v. bad idea in the long term.), and they'll benefit from the guidelines, give them a framework to prevent less friction with future housemates.
:-)

[thansal]

I'm going to chime in on this one.

This is where you live. You have every right to kick people out of where you live. Most colleges know this and will support you if it comes to that.

Personally, I would suggest straight up confronting your room mate about the guy. Flat out tell her you think he's a dick, don't appreciate the way he acts, and don't want him around. It's fine if he hangs out in her room, and you aren't going to flat out say "No, you can't be in the common area", however he can't hang out there. I generally find it's better to be flat out open with people you will be living with, instead of pussyfooting around the issue.

As others have said, be willing to compromise, however be firm on your sticking points. IF she isn't willing to compromise it is time to talk to the RA about it.

Remember, this is your home, you have every right to be comfortable in your home. This is also your roommate's home, however, having a specific friend over is not a matter of comfort and security, and thus your issues with him trump her wanting him there. She can go hang out with him at his room, or one of the many common areas on campus, you have no other options.

You say you don't want to sound like a bitch. Well, standing up for your rights isn't being a bitch. Insisting on your imaginary rights is (or an EW as is more appropriate here).

[superhotelworker]

What the hell! Your roomies friend sounds like my ex. I'm sorry if ya happened to get his clone.
*hugs*
I'm with everyone else. Asking L to have her friend tone it down a bit, especially if you aren't comfortable. It's your last year, and really, you need to be able to focus more now, than probably any other year. Any uncomfortable feelings and what not, aren't really helping you. And it's obviously not just you that has a problem with douche Mcgee, you said the other two didn't like him either?
Ask your room-mates to stay home for dinner one night, and talk it out.

[Eisa]

Lots of replies. o.O

Well, it's not that I don't trust the guy who was in the living room, it's just that I felt uncomfortable around someone I don't know. I don't want to have to plan my whole "going out of my room in the morning" wardrobe around whether or not it's going to be just my roomies out there. And when I suggested him waiting in the hall--it was almost 9 in the morning or so. So it wouldn't be a problem, I wouldn't think? I mean, he's not a problem really [although I have to say if I had a friend who was that...rambunctious I would be annoyed. But S. is ok with it, so it's like fine, whatever, he's not my friend lol].

We don't pay electric or water or anything, it's all included in the dorm price. Which was kind of exorbitant. Almost $1600 per semester. Plus you have to get a meal plan and eat at the dining hall, so it's pretty expensive! So yeah, there's not so much the problem with not paying the bills, it's that I would like to be able to do my laundry, too, and not have to worry that someone who doesn't even live here is doing it...which is why I kind of want to suggest advance notice. I understand it sucks to live in one of the other dorms, where you're all sharing a coin-operated washer/dryer, but...well, them's the breaks, I guess.

We were all thinking of sitting down and talking about chores at some point [as S. keeps doing them when everyone else is busy and we're ALL starting to feel really guilty! ], so I think when we do that, that would be a good time to bring up everything. Especially CS.

And yes, SHW, we all have a problem with him, even if it's just that he said something dickish [like calling S. a bitch or basically trashing the other S.'s bf for no reason]. And he's a dick to L. all the time, too...I REALLY don't understand why she's friends with him. Anyone that toxic, I have dumped out of my life...finally, Gawd, it feels SO good! [And oh the stories I could tell...not really appropriate for this thread, though. But maybe someday I will write out at least one of those friend stories and what all transpired. It was kind of nasty.]

Also, I'm sorry you had a douche like that for a bf EVER, SHW, that sucks...Glad he's an ex, though.


Oh yeah...and Magpie, that makes sense about the family dynamics and stuff. I guess I just don't really...I don't know...expect my family to help me out? Since they're in a word douchebags? [Although it's odd how my dad now treats me better as it seems he finally sees me as a grown-up. My mom's impossible ]. But I don't think I'll get to do whatever I want or anything. If I could do that, I'd have a pet bunny, a pet pug, and I would somehow be living on the opposite coast with my SO. Since that's not happening...Heh, that reminds me how my roommates were talking about getting a cat and keeping it there just for a night...JUST so we could say we had a cat in our suite. Um, ok...I guess that's never minding both me and L. are allergic to cats, and one S. hates cats, I suppose... Although I think it was just one of those things you talk about...but if I come home to a cat one day, I am gonna be PISSED lol.

[Amethyst Hunter]

This is NOT a "nice guy." This is a walking advertisement for Future Felon, methinks.

Do whatever you have to to take care of yourself first. That can't be said enough. Personally, I wouldn't trust this waste of DNA any further than he could shoot a lit fart through the air.

Oh, and the bitch factor? Just remember what a BITCH really is...

A

Beautiful
Intelligent
Talented
Charming
Happy

Person!

[ADoyle90815]

Bitch also means: Being In Total Control of Herself.

[Eisa]

I like both those definitions. Particularly the first one.

So I went with L. and S. to dinner today, and S.C. was there. And...he apologized to S. for saying the stuff he did about her bf. He seemed a lot...nicer...today, too. Like he found a hair in his food [ewwwwwwww], and instead of throwing a fit about it, he just went and put his plate away and then got a new plate of food. Didn't even mention it to the guy behind the counter. [Ok, kind of counter. The server. You know what I mean. ]. So I think I see a LITTLE bit of why L. considers him a friend, although I'd still prefer not to see him all that much.

On the other hand, I've spent most of the afternoon writing a 5-page paper, and the other S. decided to have like 5 of her friends over. And they were REALLY REALLY loud. Granted, she didn't know I was writing a paper, but who does that when you know your roomies are home? Ay-yi-yi. [And by loud--I mean "screaming" loud. Not just talking in not-quiet voices or something. I mean REALLY REALLY loud. Oh and lots of screaming with laughter...]

Yep, that talk needs to happen soon.

S.C. still commented on how hot every girl he saw was.

[Sapphire Silk]

Eisa, I wish I could pay only $1600 including utilities for 16 weeks.

Just wait until you get your own place and learn the joys of rent/mortgage.

When I went back to school for my BSN, I lived on campus (I was 33 at the time) on purpose to take advantage of the cheap rent. Had a private room to boot. And found out I was not the only OTA (Older than average) student doing this

[Eisa]

Eisa, I wish I could pay only $1600 including utilities for 16 weeks.

Just wait until you get your own place and learn the joys of rent/mortgage.

When I went back to school for my BSN, I lived on campus (I was 33 at the time) on purpose to take advantage of the cheap rent. Had a private room to boot. And found out I was not the only OTA (Older than average) student doing this

Heh, yeah, I know, I'm not looking forward to it. -.- And I did luck out with the suite...otherwise I'd be paying basically the same amount to share a room with 1-2 other people that smelled funny and had strange stains...and where I would then have to share a bathroom with at least 20 other people. I'm very glad that didn't happen. I just think it's a bit of a rip-off...although more with the meal plan than anything else, because the meal plan is an extra like $1500...and I KNOW for a fact that if I were allowed to seriously cook, I could whittle that food budget down a lot. But we're not allowed to have even a toaster. [Still hoping we can have a toaster oven, though. 'Cause if we can...we'll have the toaster oven, a skillet my roomie has, and the microwave...and I should be able to make most things with those tools. Heh, I like to cook...I've been really frustrated that I have to eat campus meals instead of making my own, but it's hard to figure out how to cook yummy stuff in the microwave, you know?]

Plus...I has dietary needs. I'm lactose intolerant and I have gastroparesis [delayed stomach emptying], so I basically need a low-fat low-fiber diet with very little dairy. I can tolerate some dairy, but I need my lactaid pills. I've been getting sick from eating at the dining hall every single day. And I'm pretty sure it IS the dining hall because I've noticed that when I eat out and about/at home like I've been doing on the weekends...I'm basically fine. Only problem is if I have too much dairy deliberately and I know that's gonna be a problem. So I'm going to be writing something to the dining services and asking what on earth I can do and what all they put in their food that I'm getting so sick on a regular basis.

Not that that has anything to do with suckiness...

OH! Although I did have a possible query. I'm just not sure this is what actually happened, as I didn't get a chance to ask my roommates about it.

The other morning, I woke up after everyone else had left [although that was still around 10 in the morning ] and I noticed that there was a post-it note on the refrigerator door. From our RA. Now...I'm not positive...but from the way the note was worded, it really sounds like our RA knocked or whatnot, and then when no one answered, opened the door and stuck the post-it note on the fridge. Is it just me, or is that really not cool? Our door's unlocked a lot of the time, but that's mainly because it's a pain in the ass to lock from the outside. So that just seems...weird that he might have just let himself inside. I don't know, though, someone else could have and he just put that there for reference/the other roomies. Hmm. Oh well.

[Solumina]

RAs do have the right to key into rooms but it has to be for a reason, mostly they do it for room checks.

[Barracuda]

i'm wanting to remove his 'jewels' but i fear that they would be too hard to find.

If I may...(gets on soapbox) I would like to point out that it is a bit extreme to say someone should be permanently mutilated (i.e., castration,) simply for making an ass of themselves. If the person in this instance was a girl, would anyone consider it appropriate to say they wanted to cut her breasts off? Since this isn't Fratching, I will shut up now. Just wanted to point that out. As a male, I find that kind of "joke" very offensive. (gets off soapbox)

[Eisa]

Solumina: Oh, ok. I don't know what all was with it, but not a room check, I wouldn't think.

Barracuda: You have a very valid point. ...to say more probably would end up in Fratching lol, but yeah. You has a point.


...I'm about to be a serious bitch towards my roommate, S. I know it's Saturday night. But seriously. It's almost 2 in the morning and she brought home several people [who sound kind of drunk, to be honest], and they're all being very, very loud. WHAT THE FUCK WE HAVE QUIET HOURS NOW STFU.

I'm hoping that just the appearance of myself will remind her that they need to keep it the fuck down already. I'm fine with her having people over...but they need to be fucking QUIET.

Sheeeeeeesh, when I even get up like midnight-2 a.m. to get some snack or something, I'm like deathly afraid of making noise and make as little as possible. I am quiet. Is it really that hard to be quiet?

[Sapphire Silk]

You need to call a meeting of your suitemates and clear the air.

Failing that, you can complain to the RAs . . . if you want to be persona non grata with your suitemates. Odds are, they aren't going to change, and will blame you for any problems with the RAs.

Time to see if you can switch rooms with someone. Odds are there are no open rooms on campus, so maybe you can find someone willing to switch with you, possibly a friend of your roomies who'd like to upgrade.

If that fails, you will just have to suck it up until the end of the semester and apply for a new room for the Spring Semester, or move off campus.

I sympathize. I went through this with suite mates one semester. When I complained, they left garbage in front of my door. One girl very stupidly tried to pick a fight with me (I was in the martial arts club and had a blue belt in Tae Kwon Do, she was short and fat and drunk most of the time).

When the semester was over, my roommate and I switched to a new dorm and were much happier. But we had to tough it out until the semester was over.

[Eisa]

You need to call a meeting of your suitemates and clear the air.

Failing that, you can complain to the RAs . . . if you want to be persona non grata with your suitemates. Odds are, they aren't going to change, and will blame you for any problems with the RAs.

Time to see if you can switch rooms with someone. Odds are there are no open rooms on campus, so maybe you can find someone willing to switch with you, possibly a friend of your roomies who'd like to upgrade.

If that fails, you will just have to suck it up until the end of the semester and apply for a new room for the Spring Semester, or move off campus.

I sympathize. I went through this with suite mates one semester. When I complained, they left garbage in front of my door. One girl very stupidly tried to pick a fight with me (I was in the martial arts club and had a blue belt in Tae Kwon Do, she was short and fat and drunk most of the time).

When the semester was over, my roommate and I switched to a new dorm and were much happier. But we had to tough it out until the semester was over.

Yeah. I meant to last night, but half of them vanished on me. I have no problem with one S. and only a little bit of one with L. mainly because of douchebag I mean S.C. [who by the way...we were watching the VMAs again yesterday and he came over 'cause he was helping L. move stuff and he commented on Lady GaGa's meat dress and wondered in a lot of detail about if she was wearing meat underwear Yeah....that only needed one comment if that...]...but the other S. is turning into a real problem. And I don't think she's being malicious, I think she's just not thinking and is being REALLY inconsiderate. It's not just her place, it's everyone's.

Also, yeah, I imagine that would make me persona non grata! I don't want to have to complain...but if the clearing the air doesn't work, perhaps one could serve as mediator or something? I don't really know.

That sounds awful. Although kind of funny on the "Let's pick a fight with the Tae Kwon Do girl! I'm BRILLIANT!"

[Magpie]

Eisa, does your school have a disabilities office? Talk to them. Even if your food services is perfectly willing to help you out and has real food that they can give you, it'll happen faster if you get the disabilities office to do it for you. They know who to talk to, and they can make things happen. (It's beautiful *tear*)