Sexist guy at school sighting

[Eisa]

Eisa, does your school have a disabilities office? Talk to them. Even if your food services is perfectly willing to help you out and has real food that they can give you, it'll happen faster if you get the disabilities office to do it for you. They know who to talk to, and they can make things happen. (It's beautiful *tear*)

They can? My school does have a disabilities office, but you have to have a lot of paperwork documenting your disability. Does a gastrointestinal disorder and food sensitivity count then? Because OMG that is awesome. I think I'll have to ask or something. I could get documentation that I have gastroparesis...I've just never been formally tested for lactose intolerance. I think it's pretty obvious, though, when eating dairy makes you sick and not eating dairy means you're fine. And when lactaid pills help you eat.

[Sapphire Silk]

That sounds awful. Although kind of funny on the "Let's pick a fight with the Tae Kwon Do girl! I'm BRILLIANT!"

She threatened to kick my ass one day as I was on my way out the door to a party elsewhere. I spun on my heel and was in her face so fast she about peed her pants.

"Bring it on," I said.

She practically fell over on her fat ass, she backed down so quickly. Best part was, she flunked out of school after only one semester, because she literally got an F in every class she took.

See ya, wouldn't wanna be ya!

[Magpie]

They can? My school does have a disabilities office, but you have to have a lot of paperwork documenting your disability. Does a gastrointestinal disorder and food sensitivity count then? Because OMG that is awesome. I think I'll have to ask or something. I could get documentation that I have gastroparesis...I've just never been formally tested for lactose intolerance. I think it's pretty obvious, though, when eating dairy makes you sick and not eating dairy means you're fine. And when lactaid pills help you eat.

Ok, no guarantees if you don't have documentation (and not 100% even if you do), but go and ask. I have a friend who got extra time on exams before getting her learning disability assessment done, because she was having trouble and it sounded like one, and she was going to get assessed. (She dropped the extra time instead, because seriously, in engineering it hurts more than it helps, because you have to write elsewhere).

But they should be taking care of more than just learning disabilities at the office. If you require a special diet to be healthy, that really sounds like the sort of thing I'd expect them to cover. (I don't know if they'd do it for people who live here, because meal plans are only mandatory if you're in dorms, the suites have kitchens, so all you'd get from them is a guarantee that you'd be in a suite). I know of a first year though who got put in upper-year housing because it was the building closest to her classes. So they have POWER.

[Solumina]

A friend of mine was a diabetic and so she got upgraded to upper level housing and a special spot in the housing lottery so that she could get a room with a kitchen. I she also got some sort of special thing with her meal plan but I don't know the details of that.

Also it sounds like S has never lived with other people and doesn't think about how the things she does could mess with the rest of you. You need to talk things out, and you need to do it soon. Don't wait until there is a problem, do it as soon as you can, less emotions that way.

[Andara Bledin]

A note on noisiness:

Any time you have an issue with someone being way too loud, just pop your head out of your door, let them know they're being rather loud and politely request that they try to tone it down some. A lot of times, people don't have any inkling that they're annoying anyone.

Then there are people like my neighbors, who are just completely insonsiderate fu#*@&$!

Seriously, who the hell starts hanging pictures against the shared wall at 10 at night on a Tuesday?

^-.-^

[Eisa]

I might have to see what I can do food-wise then...it would be nice if I could get some kind of accommodation for meals!

Sooooooo. I have an update. And now I think he can just be upgraded to complete creeper jackass motherfucker. I cannot stand him. None of my roommates can stand him. I don't think anyone on this campus can stand him. I also think that I've been with more girls than he has.

So the other day, he made a skeevy comment to L. and told her that he didn't come over to her room all that much because all of her roommates were taken. So I said that I felt thank GAWD I was taken, and that if I wasn't, I would be a full lesbian around him. My other two roomies felt the same way.

So L. was talking to him and telling him how disgusting he is and everything. So he came to the table where L., her friend B., and I were sitting and bent down and whispered in her ear, apparently calling me something really nasty that she won't repeat. And according to her, he was saying it in that loud whisper way that means you really WANT someone to hear it, but don't want to say it to their face. Fucking douchebag. I don't REALLY care, 'cause I think he's a jackass, but you know...it still bothers me a little just because when I find that out, well, it kind of hurts. But L. gave me a hug, so that made me feel a little better.

I can see why nobody can stand him, though!

[KiaKat]

Does this mean he's no longer welcome in the suite?

And maybe it's time for the suite to file a complaint with campus security...

[Eisa]

Does this mean he's no longer welcome in the suite?

And maybe it's time for the suite to file a complaint with campus security...

If it doesn't specifically now, I'm making it abundantly clear today. If L. still wants to hang out with him, that's fine, but she is NOT doing it here. And to be honest, I can't understand her wanting to hang out with him after he's derided and insulted every one of her roommates, specifically calling S. a bitch and me whatever nasty word he dreamed up. Not to mention the constant disgusting comments on girls and how he wanted to actually reach out a car window and smack some girl's ass. I guess he can't remember that's assault.

I don't know if Campus Security would care at this point, would they? I don't think he's actually done anything wrong...since you can't get in trouble for calling someone names...

Although I suppose I could get him in all likelihood busted for underage drinking.

...that would probably just catch up a lot of other people in it, too, though. And I don't really want to be "that person" lol.

[Eisa]

I thought this was all taken care of. I didn't specifically say that I wanted him to never come in our suite again, but I said that I never wanted to see him again. And I thought L. was with that, because S. asked about Jackass coming around, and L. told her about what he said/did, and how she called him an asshole and was really mad at him for saying something like that about her roommate(s). So that was like...ok, she hates him, too, then, and won't want to be around him.

Fucking hell, I should know better.

First, he talks to her at dinner. But I was like well, ok, he just came up to her, it's hard to just be like Fuck off and die. Whatever.

But then. Tonight. I just got off the phone and walked out of my room to go to the bathroom. But OH LOOK Jackass and L. are having a wonderful, hilarious conversation in the kitchen. What. The. Ever. Living. Fuck. You fucking bitch.

Sooooo if/whenever I calm down enough, I'm going to tell her pointblank I don't ever want him in our suite ever again. If she wants to talk to him so bad [and I REALLY don't understand why ], she can do so outside this god-damned fucking suite.

[Magpie]

Since you're taking care to avoid antagonising the roommates: phrase it as "I'm uncomfortable with him in the suite", rather than "I don't want to see him in the suite". The first one explains that there is a real problem that needs to be dealt with, rather than just you being picky. (Other options include "I don't feel safe").

[thansal]

Magpie is right on that one. Wording is so very powerful, and strange.

I will also chip in that if he steps even one hair further in the line that he is going you should go straight to your dean of students (or equivalent). This isn't necessarily to have a specific action, but to make sure the college is aware of the situation, and to see what CAN be done.

My freshman year we had a case of one of our new friends eventually getting a college issued 'keep away' order (think restraining order, but only really valid in the college) against another one of our new 'friends' (who, I will say I really didn't like from the get go, but still :P).

He stayed away, for the most part, and the few times there were problems it was easy to take care of them as we could appeal directly to the college, they knew what was going on, and supported our friend.

That all said, your millage may vary, though I do tend to put a decent bit of faith in most college support services, the people working there are generally there because they want to help people.

[Eisa]

Since you're taking care to avoid antagonising the roommates: phrase it as "I'm uncomfortable with him in the suite", rather than "I don't want to see him in the suite". The first one explains that there is a real problem that needs to be dealt with, rather than just you being picky. (Other options include "I don't feel safe").

It's such a good thing I didn't talk to her last night, I think I would have ended up yelling. That's a good way to phrase it...I AM uncomfortable with him in the suite. Last night, it felt like I had been ambushed. I feel uncomfortable AND I don't feel safe. I really don't. I'm starting to want to lock my door at all times and the door to the suite [which isn't usually locked during the day]. JUST because of him, and what he might do. Because he strikes me as the kind of person who does more than call people names.

Magpie is right on that one. Wording is so very powerful, and strange.

I will also chip in that if he steps even one hair further in the line that he is going you should go straight to your dean of students (or equivalent). This isn't necessarily to have a specific action, but to make sure the college is aware of the situation, and to see what CAN be done.

My freshman year we had a case of one of our new friends eventually getting a college issued 'keep away' order (think restraining order, but only really valid in the college) against another one of our new 'friends' (who, I will say I really didn't like from the get go, but still :P).

He stayed away, for the most part, and the few times there were problems it was easy to take care of them as we could appeal directly to the college, they knew what was going on, and supported our friend.

That all said, your millage may vary, though I do tend to put a decent bit of faith in most college support services, the people working there are generally there because they want to help people.

I really hadn't thought that they could do much, but hell, I don't know. Maybe even just talking to an RA about it first...at least one of my RA's, I like. As a matter of fact, I just went and friended him on FB, so I could at least talk to him on there first if there's a problem and make an appointment to see him in person and find out who I could talk to. 'Cause I live in this particular dorm...but Jackass does NOT. He lives across the parking lot [I think]. But yeah, that also makes sense to phrase it as more of a "this is what is happening" not "I want [specific action]" 'cause I don't know if they could DO a specific action at this point. Although I wish I could have a keep away order. I would be very tempted to be like, "Bye-bye douchebag! "

[Sapphire Silk]

Since you're taking care to avoid antagonising the roommates: phrase it as "I'm uncomfortable with him in the suite", rather than "I don't want to see him in the suite". The first one explains that there is a real problem that needs to be dealt with, rather than just you being picky. (Other options include "I don't feel safe").

I respectfully disagree with Magpie on this.

Don't pussy foot around. Say what you mean. If you are anything less than 100% clear, then you give L. an excuse to say, "Oh, I didn't know . . . ."

She's a sad sack anyway. You so need to get out of that housing situation altogether . . . or get rid of her, since she's actually the real problem.

[Magpie]

Don't pussy foot around. Say what you mean. If you are anything less than 100% clear, then you give L. an excuse to say, "Oh, I didn't know . . . ."

Actually, I was suggesting my wording to avoid having her pussy-foot around. Since I was unclear: Make sure you phrase it in such a way that it is obvious that there is an actual problem, and that it needs to be dealt with. From the "keeping good relations" point of view, you can state things that cannot be disputed. "This situation makes me feel unsafe." rather than "This is unsafe". It also works to avoid loopholes. "Oh, well he was only being kicked out because the situation was unsafe, and I'm here right now, so it's perfectly safe."

But definitely don't let them talk you into ignoring how you feel!