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How not to get the job, Part 2

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  • How not to get the job, Part 2

    I didn't want to jack Repsac's thread, so I thought I'd start a new one, not specific to any particular place of business.

    When people handed in applications at the bookstore, we'd put them in a folder in the info desk and the managers would get them at the end of the night. Generally, we'd look them over and laugh at you before we put them away. Also, if you were there for an interview, you would come to the info desk and we would page the manager for you. When the manager came out, we'd generally point you out to them. So here are my rules on how not to get the job, all from actual experience. Feel free to add your own.

    1. When filling out the application, write legibly. If we can't read your writing, your app will end up in the recycle bin.

    2. If you mess up something small, a neat cross-out and rewrite is generally acceptable. If you mess up big enough to need to scribble out entire lines, just ask for a clean application and start over.

    4. If you leave the availability section blank, we are not going to call you. Same goes with the phone number spot!

    5. Mom picking up an application for you because she happens to be in the store is OK. Having Mommy return the application and ask when to expect to hear is not. Bring it in yourself! You want a big boy/girl job, you gotta act like a big boy/girl.

    6. When you come in for the interview, dress appropriately. Take a moment to notice what the employees generally wear, and dress accordingly, or slightly better.

    7. If you come in wearing shorts and a baseball cap, you are not going to get a call back.

    8. While you are waiting for the manager to come out to interview you, feel free to browse a nearby bookshelf where you can still see us and we can still see you. If you disappear entirely, we are not going to come looking for you. We will tell the manager, "I don't know where he went, but he was wearing shorts and a baseball cap." (This guy disappeared for at least 10 minutes.)

    9. Sit up straight and speak clearly. Slouching and mumbling will not help your case. (I've seen this from just walking past where the interview was happening. I can only imagine what the interviewing manager was thinking.)

    10. If your only reference is Mommy, and the only work you've done for her is to clean your room and empty the dishwasher, that's not a good sign. Especially if you are no longer in high school.
    I don't go in for ancient wisdom
    I don't believe just 'cause ideas are tenacious
    It means that they're worthy - Tim Minchin, "White Wine in the Sun"

  • #2
    Quoth BookstoreEscapee View Post
    9. Sit up straight and speak clearly. Slouching and mumbling will not help your case.
    And saying "I'm basically a shy person" will NOT get you a job in an arcade. (Third interview I ever ran. The second-worst interview I ever ran, and it followed the absolute best interview I was ever on the other side of the counter from. The worst part was that, after that stellar start, it went downhill, something I didn't think was possible.)

    Comment


    • #3
      11. Turning up 30 minutes late to your interview and demanding to be seen will do you infinitely more harm than good. Arguing that you were late through no fault of your own (without offering any reasons for your lateness, to boot) will get your application filed in the Big Red Book of Shame (labelled "Do Not Hire These People EVER"). If you can't be bothered to turn up on time for the job interview, how are you going to convince us that you'll turn up on time for your shifts?

      12. Always be nice - or at least civil - to the person you see upon arriving, who may or may not be the receptionist/secretary/assistant of the person you'll be interviewing with. You never know if the interviewer will ask that person for an opinion on applicants...and, karma being the unpredictable devil that it is, you might be the poor sod who found out that his interviewer WAS that person. (Oddly enough, I didn't recommend him for hire. Hmmm.)

      13. If you "need" to bring along a friend/relative/handler to your interview, don't get yourself in a snit when that person is not invited into the interview room. If hiring is ever conducted on a 2-fer-1 basis, we'll be sure you're the first notified. Related to #5 above - big boys and girls need to be able to function in the work world without a Siamese twin.

      14. If you've lied about some vital skill or other item on your application, and during the interview this lie becomes apparent, please have the good grace to excuse yourself, thank the interviewer for his/her time, and leave. Do not argue that it wasn't really a lie, or why you think that it's not important to be available for work during the times you'd originally stated...and, above all, do not yell at or insult the interviewer and issue threats, hollow or otherwise.
      Not all who wander are lost.

      Comment


      • #4
        15. Do not, repeat Do NOT have your cell phone turned on during an interview and definitely do NOT answer it if it rings!

        16. Shaving helps, really.

        17. If you are young and perfectly healthy, don't park in a handicap spot in front of the store to make your interview on time (manager actually saw the doofus do this and made him move the car before he'd interview him)

        18. Making inappropriate comments at the secretary/receptionist will not help your cause

        19. I understand being a parent of young children can be challenging, but please do not bring them with you to the interview

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        • #5
          Quoth PuckishOne View Post
          11. Turning up 30 minutes late to your interview and demanding to be seen will do you infinitely more harm than good.
          Quoth CrazedClerk View Post
          17. If you are young and perfectly healthy, don't park in a handicap spot in front of the store to make your interview on time (manager actually saw the doofus do this and made him move the car before he'd interview him)
          They actually got interviews after doing these things? Your interviewers are more generous than I ever was. "Interview? You were ten minutes late. Anything I do now would just be a courtesy, so why waste your time or mine?"

          Comment


          • #6
            This is similar to what others have said, but don't bring Mommy to your interview with you.

            When filling out an application, FILL IT OUT. If we ask for three references, we want three references, not one, not two. References do not include your Mom and your boyfriend, duh.

            Park in the parking lot, not right outside the door of the hotel. That is for guests who are checking in, etc. My boss hated this....if he saw someone doing this, either when picking up or dropping off an application, or when they were there for an interview, I knew that the chances of them being hired were slim. If someone else is driving, and will be waiting in the car for you, they too should find a parking spot.

            DUH. I don't think these are hard concepts!

            Comment


            • #7
              I still get crap occasionally about my references, because my college adviser happens to have the same last name as I do. Strange coincidence, but we're not related (so far as we know). Even weirder though--my current sup is my best friend from high school's godfather.

              And back on topic Don't act like you're impatient or you have somewhere better to be. Constantly checking your cell phone or watch just makes the interviewer feel like you don't value their time, and therefore, they should not value yours.
              "In the end I was the mean girl/or somebody's in between girl"~Neko Case

              “You don't need many words if you already know what you're talking about.” ~William Stafford

              Comment


              • #8
                If you work for a relative, that is different, BUT a lot of applications have one section for former employers, and another for personal references.

                Some even say "personal references from someone other than a former employer, and not related to you" or something to that effect.

                And they still don't read. The case that I was referring to was even dumber. She was my then current boyfriend's ex wife. Her mother had a different last name than her, so had I not been employed there, it might not have been noticed.

                But she did know that I worked there, which makes it all the dumber.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Quoth BookstoreEscapee View Post
                  If you mess up something small, a neat cross-out and rewrite is generally acceptable. If you mess up big enough to need to scribble out entire lines, just ask for a clean application and start over.
                  That's why I'd always ask for two applications. I don't know why, but I'd ALWAYS mess up on the first one.
                  Unseen but seeing
                  oh dear, now they're masquerading as sane-KiaKat
                  There isn't enough interpretive dance in the workplace these days-Irv
                  3rd shift needs love, too
                  RIP, mo bhrionglóid

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Don't come to the interview if you are stoned (yes really!)

                    or turn up an hour early, and expect to be taken early (I have people scheduled for that time, so stop huffing)

                    and wear clothes that fit, we do not want to see your boobs thanks (yes really)

                    and don't bring your dog to interview (and then tell us that if you get the job, fido will be coming too, sorry, not happening)

                    If you apply for a part time post, don't yell at me that it was a full time post you wanted (every one else knew what they were applying for!)

                    If you MUST fill out your aplication form in front of me DO NOT steal my pen from the desk (at least ASK)

                    I love it when we are hiring, can you tell?
                    "...and you've got people. Billions of people walking about like happy meals with legs...." Spike

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Quoth tintaglia View Post
                      and wear clothes that fit, we do not want to see your boobs thanks (yes really)
                      *handraise*

                      *cough*

                      Actually...

                      Rapscallion

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        When I was unemployed and had to put in x number of aps per week, there were a few places I did NOT want to call me for an interview. So I made sure they didn't. When I went in to pick up an ap, I

                        1. Came in in slovenly clothes with no makup and uncombed hair.
                        2. Chewed and poppped gum.
                        3. Asked to borrow a pen to fill it out.
                        4. Left out info on the ap.
                        5. Used sloppy, illegible writing, misspelled stuff, and crossed a lot of stuff out.
                        6. If I took the ap out to my car to fill it out, I'd bring it back with a stain on it.
                        7. Rumple the ap a little. Dog ear the corners.

                        Worked every time.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Quoth tintaglia View Post
                          Don't come to the interview if you are stoned (yes really!)
                          Oh, that's really bad and pathetic as well.
                          Yours truly, Robyn unless your an SC
                          My space
                          Facebook

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                          • #14
                            Quoth tintaglia View Post
                            Don't come to the interview if you are stoned (yes really!)
                            I actually saw this happening! At my previous job, which was a government job btw, I saw someone coming in for an interview in a nice suit (male) and reeking of weed! It actually made my eyes water. These interviews, conducted by a panel of 3 administrators were supposed to be about 45-60mins long. I got there about 15 minutes early, and on time to see Mr. Stoner walking into his interview. He was there for 10 minutes. I don't think he got the job.....
                            Do I dare
                            Disturb the universe?
                            In a minute there is time
                            For decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse.

                            T.S. Eliot

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              I am ashamed to say my brother did this one, but well...he did.

                              When applying for a job, no matter how cool you think it makes you look, take off your sunglasses; and tuck your shirt in.

                              I kid you not. My bro (bout two or three years ago) comes down here and decides he wants a job. So, he asks me...who was acting as a taxi about that time it seemed, to drive him around to the various machine shops. One place we stopped at, he hops out walks right over to this guy and starts chatting him up. The guy was the owner, and the whole time (I had the window down) bro is asking things about him getting a job. He had his glasses on the whole time too. The owner is giving him this really peculiar look. Later when we were driving off, bro looks at me and grins. "I bet I got that job." he says, to which I replied. "You would. If you took the glasses off."

                              True to my word, he never got a phone call from that guy.
                              Learn wisdom by the follies of others.

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