I Hate "Family" Pubs

[Crime Scene Scarf]

"Blah, blah, blah you don't have children!"
"Alas, no. My child chose not to come back to me, and a drunk man fell on her and crushed her to death. If only I had parented her correctly."

[ThirdGenRetail]

Exactly! I'm only an aunt, but even I know that good parenting means not letting a child wander like that, as that child could easily wander outside and go into traffic.

Amen! When I would babysit my nephews, I'd maintain focus on THEM. When I watched them at my sister's house, while I split my attention between them and the computer, I still maintained a pretty good level of attention on them to where I was well aware of what they were doing and where they were. I do the same thing at work, while I'll have my sketchbook up front with me and doodle in it, I'll still keep customers within my range of focus. Besides, I can easily enough just put the pencil down and there I am to help the customers. Same principal as with watching my nephews, I'll do something I can suddenly stop and focus on them with(Having ADHD, I've found it hard to remain focused on ONE thing at a time. Even right now, I'm focusing on not just the computer, but one side of my mother's phone conversation ).

[Merriweather]

M: Huh! Well, I can tell YOU don't have any children!

A person doesn't have to have any children to be able to tell the difference between a pub and a babysitter!

[Merriweather]

My coworkers get a good giggle and if asked, will verify that I have raised two boys into their teens. What the customers don't know is that they are my younger brothers and my mom was a single parent for so long that I took over raising them while she worked. But I love to see their faces as they try to figure out if I just started very young or if I'm much older than I look.

My Dad was divorced with a small son when he married my Mom, and there was a large age gap between my Mom & Dad. When his son would visit, my Mom always loved to introduce him to anyone and everyone as her son (not step-son), then let drop both their ages, and watch people's reactions as they mentally did the math. She was just 13 years older than him

[Captain Trips]

Why do parents feel the need to be friends to their children? From 0 to 18, they need a parent...after that there is plenty of time for friendship.

^ THIS ^

My kids tried to get away with shit, but once I married their mom that all changed. And when they grew up, they thanked me for being, as my son said, "a ball buster. (But we deserved it.)"

Letting your kids do what they choose? What if they choose to do drugs? What if they decide to do Oxycontin to excess? What if they choose to do it with 3 4-Loco's? What if I still had a son? (Yes, he died 4 months ago of that overdose. If he were under 18, I'd tan his hide for that, but he was 26. AND raised properly. I fear for little Saphron.)

[gaspode]

My Dad was divorced with a small son when he married my Mom, and there was a large age gap between my Mom & Dad. When his son would visit, my Mom always loved to introduce him to anyone and everyone as her son (not step-son), then let drop both their ages, and watch people's reactions as they mentally did the math. She was just 13 years older than him

you're lucky my step mother was 6 months younger than me !

[Flying Grype]

"Blah, blah, blah you don't have children!"

That's right, I chose not to, which is what you should have done.

(Not within hearing range of the kids, of course.)

[greensinestro]

Now, there's a story about bad parenting for you. I'm just appalled by how lazy and irresponsible mothers like this can be.

Telling the waitress that she knows nothing about parenting was also WTF in my book. Whenever I take my kids out to eat, they are with me at all times where I can see them instead of wandering off to be free. Makes you think this child would have been easy pickings for the prowling pedophile at this place.

And, what got me was the fact her daughter broke something expensive due to this same behavior the week before, and she had the nerve to come back to this place and eat again? And doing the same act of parenting?

If you want someone else to watch your kid, don't have them at all. Or, have them and hire a nanny or babysitter for that.

[georgie]

my mother never hesitated to smack the back of my legs if i spoke back or was rude or disobeyed her in public

i dont think it ever occured to her to let the "village" raise me. she had me so i was her duty

[protege]

My kids tried to get away with shit, but once I married their mom that all changed. And when they grew up, they thanked me for being, as my son said, "a ball buster. (But we deserved it.)"

My mom was a ball buster Dad, on the other hand...wasn't one to hesitate, and pick up one of us kids by the shirt, and say "look you little shit..."

[Seshat]

I think she was doing a very poor job of the positive-reinforcement style of child rearing (or obedience training).

Yes, during a training session (in a controlled, safe environment), you train the child (or dog/cat/whatever) to CHOOSE to come to you when you give the command. You do so by providing a treat of some sort - whether than be food, cuddles, or a toy.

Outside training sessions, you keep them on a leash/seatbelted into a pram/holding your hand/planted with their butt firmly in a child seat. Or in 'safe' zones, like Grandma's house. You only let them 'loose' outside a safe zone once they have a reliable response to your 'come to me' command.

Anyway... I suspect the 'mother' in the original post had got hold of the 'you get them to choose to come to you' idea, but didn't have any of the rest of the concept.

[Teskeria]

This is where you stand up and say "Manager? Could you call CPS (or equiv). Someone has obviously abandoned their toddler here where any pediophile could walk out with the child"

[Kristev]

That parent needs to have a chat with Mrs. Peacock, because she doesn't have a clue.