People can be so mean...........

[protege]

It's just a real shame that nosey body people have to be so cruel and call the police or child services when they think something is going on yet they don't have the actual facts on.

They should keep their comments to themselves.

2 years ago, I managed to freak out some of the people in a local drugstore. I'd gone in there, with the daughter of a family friend, who was about 14 at that time. Keep in mind that I've known her since she was little, and yes, I'm nearly twice her age. Because of that, I think of her as a little sister. Anyway, we'd gone into that store looking for some Christmas lights--the cheap set Grandma had, well, didn't work. So we went in there, since her cousin worked there. As we were walking around, quite a few people, who should have really been minding their own business, shot some interesting looks our way or were staring at us. It's not what you think people! We're just friends running some errands--go back to your crossword puzzles, OK?

[greensinestro]

It's incredibly frustrating. They got on my mom's case because at the time I had a black and white TV and no video in my room. OH GOD THE HORROR!

I'm of course not accusing Child protection of all being dumbasses, but we did get a pretty dim one on our doorstep...

WTF? When I was a kid, from 8 to around 11, I had a black and white TV in my room, and the ATARI was hooked up to the color one in the family room. That was it. I did not have my own TV in my own room until I was 19, and that was because I bought it myself. I was never allowed to have my own TV. So, you mean to say that Child Services finds it to be child abuse because you don't get to have what today's kids all have in their bedrooms?

[tollbaby]

errrr when I was growing up, we had ONE tv in our HOUSE, and the situation is the same now that I'm the parent LOL My kids get enough tv time as it is, they don't need easier access to it. At least now when they want to watch, they need me to set it up (I have a 4-way switcher on my system that goes between satellite, DVD, VCR and playstation and they can't reach the bloody thing LOL).

[greensinestro]

errrr when I was growing up, we had ONE tv in our HOUSE, and the situation is the same now that I'm the parent

PLEASE EDIT QUOTES

I should let my kids move into your house.

[FloridaLizardQueen]

Wow, when I was a kid, I was always allowed to come home after school when our parents were still at work. There were three of us, so it wasn't like anyone of us was going to be home alone. And if there was a day one of us was home alone, my grandmother lived on the next block in case we ever had to call her for anything.

[Shironu-Akaineko]

PLEASE EDIT QUOTES

So, you mean to say that Child Services finds it to be child abuse because you don't get to have what today's kids all have in their bedrooms?

Ohoho wait, she also got mad cuz I listened to 50's rock music instead of Heavy Metal!

The lil stereotypin' Bizznatch would have her knickers in a knot seeing my room now.
Video games, comic books, no makeup, no skirts!
THE HORROR!!!

[Skrae]

These kind of people piss me off. Call CPS on anything that only a person with an IQ of 3 could view as abuse. It wastes the CPS people's time because they're convinced that an anonymous tip is correct no matter what and will do anything to see it be right, when they could be doing something productive and removing a kid from a home that IS unfit.
I've had CPS called on my parents, but it was for a legitimate reason, I had a family friend call them because they were intoxicated on their medication, and had been repeatedly, I didn't feel safe at that point in time because I'm not yet at the point where I can take care of myself, no job, no car (or even learner's yet). They're better now, but I could have been taken from the home if both my parents were like that all the time, but instead they sort of take "turns." Anyway, long story short, still with my parents, things are better now that they almost lost me.

[Ree]

It wastes the CPS people's time because they're convinced that an anonymous tip is correct no matter what and will do anything to see it be right, when they could be doing something productive and removing a kid from a home that IS unfit.

Actually, they are bound by law to investigate every report.
It may seem like they approach it from the view that it's guilty until proven innocent, but they would rather err on the side of caution when it comes to a child's safety.

If they didn't investigate, these same people who are so critical would be the first to point fingers and ask why they didn't step in sooner.

These are not necessarily some organization, just sitting there, waiting for someone to beat their kids or touch them inappropriately so they can step in and snatch the kids and break up families.

They aren't perfect, and some children do fall through the cracks, and some families do end up unnecessarily investigated.
I don't dispute that.

In my own case, a few years ago, while I was on a 2 week+ stay in the hospital after major surgery, my daughter was sent from babysitter to babysitter while my husband worked. She had a regular babysitter through the week, but weekends were a problem.

Anyway, my husband brought my little girl to see me at the hospital, and during the visit, she had to use the bathroom.
I was horrified to see this horrible bruise on her lower back. I asked her what happened, and she didn't remember.

A week or so later, I was sent home. I was still learning to use my leg all over again, and in constant pain, so I sent my daughter to the babysitter. My daughter came home the first day, and told me some man had been at the babysitter's that day, asking to see the bruise on her back, and had asked her questions and talked with the babysitter.

The next day, the social worker came to our house and talked with us.
He said it was obvious, from talking to our daughter, that there were no signs of abuse, but because of the situation in our home, with my surgery and extreme pain, they knew that there were major stress factors, and they were obligated to check it out.

It was a few weeks later at my Mom's when I realized how she got the bruise. My Mom's dog had just had a litter of puppies, and there was a wooden panel blocking the doorway to the room where they were so that the grandchildren wouldn't bother them.
My daughter had climbed up the panel, and it had fallen, and the way she landed, she banged her lower back.

One of the regulars at the restaurant where my husband worked had taken my daughter to use the bathroom. When she saw the bruise, rather than ask my husband about it, she called CAS to report it.

It obviously didn't stay on the record, as we were allowed to do foster care years later.

I do know that I have had contact with a great deal of social workers in the Children's Aid Society for our area, and anyone I met has been nothing but professional and caring. The focus is always on keeping families together, rather than splitting them up, because not only is it more cost effective than getting them into the system, it's better in the long run for the child.
They will always try to look for a suitable family member first, and if that isn't possible, will move the child to safety, but work with the family so that the child can live safely.

There is currently a program called "PATH", which means Parent Assisted Treatment Home. The foster parents work with both the birth parents and the child to improve the parenting/coping skills and make the home environment safer for all.

So, yeah, there are a lot of meddling people sticking their nose in and making accusations that they know nothing about, but I certainly sleep better at night knowing that someone is looking out for battered children, even if they aren't perfect. Two or three good calls out of 10 are still 2 or 3 children moved to a safer environment.

[Skrae]

I meant no offense toward CPA, I just meant nosy people waste their time on good parents who don't do anything wrong when there are kids out there that actually need them.

[Ree]

I meant no offense toward CPA

Oh, I realize that, but I just see so much misinformation and bias and stereotypes about these agencies, and it makes me a little defensive, I'm afraid.

As I said, I have only ever had a good experience with them.

I am not blind to the fact that there are some pretty bad social workers out there, and some departments that are so over-staffed that they are not doing the job properly, but because of publicity about those situations, people tend to think they are the norm rather than the exception.

In fact, my daughter has been in the social worker program, and when I found out who some of her classmates were, I just shook my head. I really have to wonder just what kind of workers these people will be.

One of the boys in the program works with me, and he is pretty much useless. He bragged about coming in to work hungover and sleeping on bags of dog food upstairs in the warehouse.
He worked at a camp last summer for children with developmental problems, and he used to make fun of the kids to his buddies.

Another girl had a hate on for my daughter, because she had to confiscate her fake ID at the bar and ban her, because she knew the girl was underaged and drinking.

I am thinking they thought it was an easy credit?

[tollbaby]

They'll soon discover it's damned draining work and not very financially rewarding to boot *sigh* I couldn't handle it emotionally. I changed my major to library science.