Dear Transit Riders, part 2

[smileyeagle1021]

Dear riders of the most crowded route in the system (the 811),
you will not get two seats to yourself, don't even try.

Dear TRAX riders,
Calm the down, there is only three lines, the trains run on a regular schedule, the transfer points are very clearly marked on the map, and the ticket vending machines walk you through step by step purchasing a ticket in either English or Spanish. This is not difficult in any way, please stop acting like it is.

[Dreamstalker]

Chromatix, in my neck of the woods it's not just teens doing that. Call me old-fashioned, but I rather like my separate MP3 player. It was actually designed to play music.

Dear parents with 'infant transport systems' the size of my mom's first car:
It's morning RUSH HOUR on a Monday. What in the name of Hastur's knickers makes you think you can get on a train that is already visibly packed to the gills? I don't care if the driver told you to use the side door. THERE. IS. NO. ROOM. Anyone with eyeballs can see this from the platform. The other people are not being nice by letting you go first, they know there's not even enough room for them. And this train is already delayed enough.

Thank you for causing me to nearly break my ankle/possibly leg as I disembarked around your Strollerzilla. I know I kicked it hard enough to roll back an inch and 'bruise' your leg (and my shin). Not sorry, but I have someplace to be 10 minutes ago. If I had fallen, I'm sure everyone else on that train would be a witness for me.


Dear people with overly-loud (c)rap music:
If the rest of the train can hear the lyrics over the usual noise (and especially if I can hear it through my earbuds), it's TOO LOUD.

Dear people carrying on cell conversations on speakerphone:
WHY? If you think reception on the train is bad, deciphering a conversation adding a speakerphone in the mix is worse. If you do notice everyone trying to listen in you have no right to act butthurt about it. it's PUBLIC transport. If you have something you don't want the whole train to laugh at, then text like a normal person.

[Kitten in the box]

Dear BART patrons:

I understand that you had to go to the hospital because of an ailment. But can you PLEASE refrain from telling my that nasty procedure you had to have? i really do NOT WANT to know about that.

Please stop talking to the imaginary man sitting next to you. ok? he's from the land of Not Real on the corner of Make Belive Street. You do NOT need to keep asking where he is from. its annoying to me and the other patrons

No one wants to know your personal history crazy lady. I do not care that a UFO tried to abduct you and mind control your pets ok?? seriously I. Do. Not. Care.

Bus Patrons:

To that crazy Santa Claus lookalike,

I do not understand "gheoythga;htghayhdthahdfh hahahaha!! hey girl, agodthglhadlkghkahg hahahaha!" So just quit.

Opiniated woman,

No, i will NOT stop eating or drinking my favorite food/drink. I don't give a flying fuck if its high in fat or if its made of beef. Its MY right as an American to enjoy what i will. What's that?? Now your PISSED at me because i refuse to cease said activity i like to do? awwww...poor baby.

Stinky Man/woman,

Your body order is lacking. I hear they invented this wonderful thing called soap and deoderent. you should try it.

Overlooker,

Back the fuck up off my person and quit looking over my shoulder at what im doing. or you will get smacked. I don't play like that.

[mharbourgirl]

Dear university students:

In a city over-blessed with universities and college, one of which I attended myself in the distant past, I get that y'all are going to be infesting public transports. That I don't have a problem with. Nor do I care that you're going to class in pajamas. Did it myself occasionally.

BUT - no matter how early you had to get up for class, that is no excuse for not showering at LEAST once a week. And launder the damn pajamas. When we're crammed in like sardines and my personal space is trimmed down to the space I am standing in, I can tell to the minute just how long it is since you last bothered to get chummy with soap and hot water, and it wasn't NEARLY recent enough. Body odor makes me vomit, okay? That's why I don't go to movie theatres, I avoid the mall on weekends and during the holidays, etc. It's that bad for me. This will not be a good thing on a crowded bus, especially since I'm going to aim it at the stinkiest person within range.

[Sparky]

Dear Everyone,

Bathe.

Regularly.

[Zaiida]

Dear Passegers.

Please remember, trains and buses are mostly closed tubes. It is not hilarious when you let rip with grotesquely rancid farts, even if you find it funny.

Signed by another passenger who had the stench clinging to her for the rest of the day and the other passenger who threw up it was that rank.

[camjuniper]

Dear people conversing behind me,

Brush your teeth, puhleeze. If it's so bad that I can smell your bad breath when we're all sitting properly in our seats, there's something wrong. Like maybe gingivitis or cavities or never-brush-and-floss-and-gargle-ism. I would very much like to skip smelling TWO separate rank morning breaths tomorrow morning.

[Andara Bledin]

Brush your teeth, puhleeze. If it's so bad that I can smell your bad breath when we're all sitting properly in our seats, there's something wrong.

Could be smokers. I've found that some smokers (those who smoke pot, mostly) end up with breath that smells rancid. It's fairly disgusting to have a conversation with one, and no amount of teeth-brushing will fix it because it's not originating from their mouths.

^-.-^

[Kitten in the box]

All Transit Riders:

Please do not bring me into your business. I really DO NOT care if you are mad at your spouse/partner and want my opinion on how to deal with them. YOU are with them not me. deal with it yourself and leave me the hell alone.

Do not ask me about my job or what i do there. Its not your concern. If I wanted to converse with you about my job i would...wait....no I still wouldn't converse with you about my job. Job requirement or not.

If I am searching the web on my iphone DO NOT ask if i can look up something for you. This is MY iphone. NOT your iphone. what?? why the hell are you pissed off at me?

Please refrain from asking me for spare change or if you can have my ticket. If you can afford liqor, a nice Raiders or whatever your favorite sport hat,jersy,whole outfit, then you CAN afford a $2.00 ticket.

No you may NOT have my bike that i brought with me. No, you are NOT the only one that has threatened me because i said to get your own. STFD AND STFU

[cindybubbles]

Dear Female Misogynist:

When a woman is standing on the rubber yellow line, in danger of falling onto the tracks, the appropriate response is:

A: Nothing, or
B: "Excuse me, ma'am, but could you please step back? I don't want to see you hurt" if you must say something.

You may choose A or B, but do not, under ANY circumstances, CALL OUR SHARED GENDER STUPID! Everyone else is just as likely to stand on the yellow line, no matter how dangerous that may be.

Me

[Kitten in the box]

dear foolish patrons

For your own safety and those unfortunute enough to be near you, please refrain from making racist comments about a certain race; especially when that race is the majority of the transit. Not only WILL you get your head kicked in...you risk the well being of innocent bystanders accidently being injured in an attempt to throttle you

[AmbrosiaWriter]

Dear Jerk standing in front of the side door when there is plenty of space elsewhere on the train,

If you aren't getting off at this stop, why are you standing in such a manner that not only does it look like you are, you are blocking everyone else from getting on or off the train?

Yes, I did shoulder past you. No, I'm not going to say sorry or "excuse me." Bite me and get out of the way of the door.


Dear Nicotine Addict,

I understand that you just have to have a cigarette or you'll cease to function, but there is no smoking on the train. Thank you for that, but you stepped off the train, cigarette in hand, and lit it while standing in front of a universal no smoking sign. Yes, dirt bag, you aren't allowed to smoke at the train stops, even the outside ones.

Yes, I did flick it out of your mouth and in the same motion point at the sign. Why? The girl behind me was having the onset symptoms of an asthma attack after inhaling a full exhale from you, jerk. Don't give me a nasty look when you were the one in the wrong.

[Sonoma]

Dear MAX rider who also insists on bringing his bicycle on the train,

Just because you wish to bring a bicycle onto a standing-room only train, does not mean you can. Each train has 4 bicycle hooks. Each train consists of 2 cars, that means a capacity of 8 bicycles per train. Just because 8 other bicyclists are already on the train does not give you the right to act all offended that the people (who are not bringing their bikes) do not readily jump off of the train to allow you and your metal steed to board.

Wait for the next train that actually has a space for your bike, or leave the bike at one of the many bike racks they have available.

Dear people who insist on wearing their backpacks on a crowded train,

Please remove your backpack and either hold it, or place it between your feet if you are standing. I do not care to be hit in the stomach for the next hour by your load of books & whatever random stuff you feel the need to carry.

[Draper Mel]

Dear Jerk standing in front of the side door when there is plenty of space elsewhere on the train,

If you aren't getting off at this stop, why are you standing in such a manner that not only does it look like you are, you are blocking everyone else from getting on or off the train?

Yes, I did shoulder past you. No, I'm not going to say sorry or "excuse me." Bite me and get out of the way of the door.
.

Oh god yes, the vestibule people!! They always stand by the doors on the CTA trains, even when there are plenty of seats. Now, I can understand not wanting to sit next to the homeless guy or the crazy lady, but when there are full empty two seat benches empty?? Get out of the doorway, for crying out loud!!

[Andara Bledin]

I'd bump people who stood in the way when it wasn't necessary for them to be there.

I'm not a small person, so I could give a good jostle, and since they were in the way, I could claim that I didn't actually mean to hit them.

But I think that most of them realized I'd nailed them on purpose and that I wasn't about to apologize, because not a single person I did that to ever said word one to me.

^-.-^