But It Should Fit!

[dawnfire]

I don't have much detail right now, but as far as I understand she's blaming her divorce on me- saying my actions caused the divorce.

The only way you could have caused her divorce is if you had the affair with her, which I'm sure you didn't.

[Gizmo]

Wait...she says that you....but she...wait...

Oww, I tried to twist my brain to see her logic and I think i sprained something. *sniffles and rubs owwie spot*

Anyway, Ferrous, I have some homemade high-proof mead here if you want something to take the edge off. Hubby drank a couple of horns of it the other night and forgot how to work his legs. (I used heather honey, he says it's dangerously drinkable)

I can't see any judge with half a brain ruling in her favour. I wish you the very best of luck.

Yeah, I'd turn to my own mead bottle here if the other half hadn't drained it last night... ow!

All I can see is you might have uncovered how big a cow she was and forced an issue he felt he had to stand up to rather than letting it go...

[Golden Phoenix]

I don't have much detail right now, but as far as I understand she's blaming her divorce on me- saying my actions caused the divorce.

Wait...she says that you....but she...wait...

Oww, I tried to twist my brain to see her logic and I think i sprained something. *sniffles and rubs owwie spot*

Anyway, Ferrous, I have some homemade high-proof mead here if you want something to take the edge off. Hubby drank a couple of horns of it the other night and forgot how to work his legs. (I used heather honey, he says it's dangerously drinkable)

I can't see any judge with half a brain ruling in her favour. I wish you the very best of luck.

[fireheart]

For some reason, the movie "keeping mum" comes to mind...I have no idea why.

[farmkid]

Just from what I can tell, she probably got plastic surgery, cheated on her husband, and they got a divorce. How is that your fault?

Just from what I can tell, she probably cheated on her husband, got plastic surgery to please her lover, while getting her husband to pay for it, got caught and they got a divorce.

FTFY

[Aria]

Holy crap! I mentioned this thread to my mom and she said, "Max out all the credit cards, then declare bankruptcy." I feel for you, this is horrible.

[taxguykarl]

Cheap shot, XC.

OTOH, it fits

[XCashier]

When I measured her, her measurements are.. well, A-cup at best.... She comes in for the dress 3 days ago and... well.... she's now easily a Double D cup. Party Balloon grade Double D Cup.

SHE'S the one who made the mountain out of the molehill.

More than once.

[Seanette]

Sounds like "Dave Barry's Book of Bad Songs" needs to be added to our reference library for punishment/torture ideas.

[MoonCat]

...I just found out that it contravenes the "cruel and unusual punishment" clause of the Constitution. I can go no stronger than being forced to listen to Terry Jacks' "Seasons in the Sun" on repeat for 12 hours, with mandatory breaks for "Run Joey Run" every hour.

But just think of how the saccharine lyrics will send her blood sugar through the roof!

No, for that you need "Honey" by Bobby Goldsboro, or that Clint Homes song that starts with "My name is Michael..."

Alternatively, you could lock her up with the complete Justin Bieber collection.

[Thud-n-Blunder]

Never mind the Yoko Ono CD...

...I just found out that it contravenes the "cruel and unusual punishment" clause of the Constitution. I can go no stronger than being forced to listen to Terry Jacks' "Seasons in the Sun" on repeat for 12 hours, with mandatory breaks for "Run Joey Run" every hour.

But just think of how the saccharine lyrics will send her blood sugar through the roof!

[DGoddessChardonnay]

You could include a boom box with a Yoko Ono CD for additional suffering.

And then after she's had 12 hours of that torture, lock her in a small room with a tv and make her sit through a 24 hour marathon of Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman.

Then after all that, I'll pack up my brother and send him to live with her for a month. She'll definitely be begging for mercy after all that.

[Aragarthiel]

Just from what I can tell, she probably got plastic surgery, cheated on her husband, and they got a divorce. How is that your fault?

[Argus]

Your lawyer will eat her alive in the end.

And her lawyer will be dessert.

[mhkohne]

I don't have much detail right now, but as far as I understand she's blaming her divorce on me- saying my actions caused the divorce. I'm also 3 bottles into a 6 pack of apple cider so I'm a little tipsy. Angry Orchards Cinnful Cider really is Cinnful.

Bull-hocky, all of it. I'm convinced she's truly and actually evil. A kingdom for 10 minutes alone with her and usage of a flame-thrower.

Oh. Oh. Your lawyer will eat her alive in the end. Gonna be annoying along the way, and probably will end up having to drag the estranged hubby into court, but yea, that's gonna fail HARD.