questions people ask me

[Ironclad Alibi]

"How much do I have to pay to open a checking account?"
Variation: "How much will it cost me to open a checking account?"

Actually a good question since some banks I have encountered in the past did charge for checking accounts. This included a monthly fee for being under a minimum balance, and a per check charge for each check presented.

[Ghel]

Actually a good question since some banks I have encountered in the past did charge for checking accounts. This included a monthly fee for being under a minimum balance, and a per check charge for each check presented.

What they're usually asking is how much they have to deposit to open a checking account, which is a minimum of $100, more on some accounts if they want to avoid immediate below-balance fees. It's just that the way most people say it, it sounds like they think that initial deposit is a fee the bank charges, and not still their money.

[Lace Neil Singer]

"Do you sell *product that we have never sold*? Why? I saw *product* in here last week!"

"Why aren't you twenty four hour?"

"What's the difference between Super Unleaded and Regular Unleaded?"

"Why is Unleaded called Unleaded?"

"Why can't I jump start my car in the tanker bay?"

*after staring at empty bread shelf for ten minutes* "Do you have any bread?"


Someone, please come up with sarcastic answers I can say in my head whenever a customer comes up with one of these gems!

[Miss Maple Leaf]

"Do you sell *product that we have never sold*? Why? I saw *product* in here last week!"

"Oh, I'm sorry. We just stopped carrying it this morning because we knew you'd be coming in for it."

"Why aren't you twenty four hour?"

"Because if we were, then we wouldn't get to inconvenience you by being closed."

"What's the difference between Super Unleaded and Regular Unleaded?"

"A cape, tights, and an aversion to kryptonite."

"Why is Unleaded called Unleaded?"

"Because Leadless sounds silly."

"Why can't I jump start my car in the tanker bay?"

"Because I like living?"

*after staring at empty bread shelf for ten minutes* "Do you have any bread?"

"Not since the great Wheat War of '03."

These good enough?

[Lace Neil Singer]

Brilliant! I wish your post had a like button.

[Miss Maple Leaf]

I aim to please. *bows*

[wolfie]

"What's the difference between Super Unleaded and Regular Unleaded?"

Super Unleaded has a higher lead sensitivity than Regular Unleaded

Note: lead sensitivity is a real thing. It refers to how much the octane rating is boosted by a given amount of tetraethyl lead. Of course, with automotive gasoline, the lead sensitivity is irrelevant (since by law it has to be unleaded), so the answer I gave is pure BS.

"Why is Unleaded called Unleaded?"

To distinguish it from 100 low lead

Note: 100 low lead is aviation gasoline (low lead referring to the fact that it has a lower concentration of tetraethyl lead than the previous 100 octane aviation fuel).

"Why can't I jump start my car in the tanker bay?"

Because you don't have an air starter

Note: an air starter is a real thing (starter motor powered by compressed air). If your storage tanks are depressurized, a "jump start" is filling them up from someone else's compressed air system. Of course, an air starter doesn't involve the risk of a spark setting things on fire when you "jump start" it in the tanker bay.

*after staring at empty bread shelf for ten minutes* "Do you have any bread?"

Do you have the dough for it?

Note: "bread" and "dough" are both slang for money.

[skeptic53]

*after staring at empty bread shelf for ten minutes* "Do you have any bread?"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8-CmKPYzUIw

[AyreBiskits]

"Why aren't you twenty four hour?"

We ARE twenty four hour, just not in a row.

[rapana1]

"How big is my window?"
Mate, if you don't bloody know, I certainly don't!

[IvorTangrean]

When I was working at a home improvements store -- i.e. Lowe's or Home Depot -- someone asked me where we keep the dog food.

I work at a Canadian home improvement store and we do sell dog food so it is not as far fetched as it seems.

And no this is not a small town store, I live in the largest city in my province. We are a pet friendly store ( we allow people to shop with their dogs ) so this was done as a escalation of that.

[shanarocks]

"I was just calling to pay my phone bill"

I work for a bank, not a phone company. I have no ability to charge your phone bill to your credit card.

[El Pollo Guerrera]

"I was in your store a couple of years ago and bought a thing... Do you remember me?"

[Silent-Hunter]

For some reason, it always bugged me when people referred to game cartridges as "tapes." There's no tape in those things!

They may be confusing them with QIC computer tape. Those are called cartridge tapes, and they do contain tape.

[Food Lady]

All day people kept asking me "Aren't you cold????" That drives me nuts for several reasons:
a) This is Wisconsin. It's January. You were probably raised here. You are more concerned than I--the transplant from southern California--am about the cold. Did you not expect this??

b) Why are you using that accusatory tone? Do you think I'm not bundled up to the hilt like you are because I'm stupid and didn't notice it's 0 degrees outside? Do you see any employees wearing a coat? Do you think I am in front of the door for fun? You should see clearly that I am working, which is why I'm here. I don't get to stand around and do nothing just because the weather is less than favorable.

c) You are the 89th person to mention the weather. Yes, I KNOW. Quite frankly, I'm sick of hearing it. If it's so bad, why are you shopping? Go home and put on some tea and stay in if you're that uncomfortable. (I know people need stuff, but a lot seemed to be browsing for no reason today.)