Things to NOT do at my store

[Amethyst Hunter]

2) Keep your shit in the toilet. I'm tired of having to clean shit off the rim of the toilet seat because you want to go ADD while taking a dump.

I HAVE ADD, but I'm never so bad as to miss the bowl!

[AppleBuddy]

1) keep your kids at your table. mine behave in public, i expect yours can do the same.
2)when i'm with a guest, yelling "maam" repeatedly at me WILL NOT make me get to you any faster.
3)slipping me your phone number while your wife is on he cell phone disgusts me. don't do it again, or i will loudly make my displeasure known. to her.
4)we are not babysitters. your kids need to sit at the same table you do.
5)i cannot read lips. get off you f-ing cell phone to order. no, you're not that important. seriously.
6)when i am off the clock, after my shift, eating my employee meal, NO, I WILL NOT GO TO THE BACK AND GET YOU SOME RANCH DRESSING!!!!
That is all. For now.

[Hon'ya-chan]

* Don't knock my counter to get my attention. Same goes for calling me any "cute" pet names.
* Specific Title, Author, ISBN. Either have one of the three, or your not gonna like my version of "20 Questions."
* No, I have no idea how "The Secret" is. Whatever Oprah picks is garbage anyway.
* If I tell you where to get the item that we don't carry, go fetch it yourself. I am not your personal shopper, unless you pay me for that priviledge. Nor am I your Secretary, manning the phones.

[Marxfan]

No, I have no idea how "The Secret" is. Whatever Oprah picks is garbage anyway

Yay! Someone who agrees with me!

[Naaman]

There's a sceptical break down of the secret here

[uknz76]

No, I have no idea how "The Secret" is. Whatever Oprah picks is garbage anyway
Yay! Someone who agrees with me!

There are lots of people who agree with you, (seriously, loads of us) no one at my bookstore has read it and we are all much happier in ignorance.

[aurelemsrealm]

Things to not do at my store:

1. Do not complain because I ask for ID when you want to purchase beer, cigarettes, or anything else age-restricted. It's the law! Get over it or get the hell out! If you want to complain, complain to your congressman. I didn't make it a law. I'm not running for election, so I don't need your vote. Therefore, I don't care what your opinion is.

2. Don't complain that I have to fill out the book if you buy ephedrine. Yes, I will fill out the details since I'm supposed to sign that I verified your information. You sign where I tell you to sign, or you don't get the pills. If you're not manufacturing meth, then you have nothing to hide. See #1 for further explanations. I honestly wish we could just stop selling that junk, anyway. We're not a pharmacy, we're a convenience store.

3. Yes, you must pay in cash, and only cash, if you want to purchase a money order. That's why money orders are considered as good as cash.

4. We only accept cash or check for processing utility payments. If you wish to pay your utility bill by check, then the $1 processing fee must be separate in cash because that's our cut for providing you this convenience. We can't recoup that from the utility company if you include it on your check. We can't deposit the check because you're supposed to make it payable to the utility company.

5. Read the instructions on the gas pump before you hit the call button or come in to complain because you didn't follow directions. Yes, most of the time, if the pump does not dispense your fuel, it's because you didn't follow the directions. It's not my fault, and the pumps are not faulty. Learn to read!

6. Don't keep hitting the call button on the pump once I've asked you how I can help. Don't keep hitting the call button once I've instructed you to come in and see me for assistance. All it does is interrupt the open channel, then I can't hear what you are saying. If I tell you to come in and see me for assistance, it means I'm either busy at the moment, or I can't hear you on the squak box. In other words, I'm not coming out to help you until my line is clear.

7. Hang up your cell phone when you approach the counter. If the call is that important, you should probably be elsewhere anyway. All other calls can wait until business is done.

8. Don't complain because you only got ice at the fountain but were charged full price for a regular fountain cup. We provide special ice cups for that reason. The sign clearly explains that we charge for the cup no matter what it's contents. I'm not going to split hairs over whether it's just ice or a drink.

9. Don't stand at the counter to scratch your lottery tickets. If we are busy, you will be asked to move to the scratch station. If you don't want to move, we reserve the right to refuse to sell you any more lottery tickets.

10. If you've been banned from the store, don't come in and whine to me about it. I probably don't like you anyway, and don't care how much money you have or how badly it hurt your feelings.

11. Don't act like a racist, then try to play the race discrimination card. You will be kicked out, and most likely banned if it continues. See #10 for further details about banishment.

12. We do not cash checks or money orders under any circumstances. We do not accept starter checks under any circumstances. We are a convenience store, not a bank.

13. I'm not obligated to break your big bills or buy your change so you can have cash. If you want to bust a bill or unload your change that badly, you can buy something. Buy something larger than a 30-cent pack of gum. I'll still refuse to bust a $100 bill for that. Again, we are not a bank.

[Estil]

1. The wheelchairs/electric scooters are for physically handicapped, injured, or eldery customers ONLY. They are not ****ing toys and IMO, playing with the wheelchairs when you don't need it is making a mockery of the disabled (my wife is on permanent disability).

2. The urinals in the men's room are for going #1, NOT #2!!

3. The Express Lane is for 15 or less ONLY. Okay, one or two over we can overlook, but not 20-25. Not to mention the order will take MUCH longer to process (express lane has no baggers and is much smaller/much less space to work in) so it's not like we're really doing you any favors to begin with.

4. Our store specials are for individual customers/familes. We are NOT a wholesale distributor for your chain of convience stores. :P

5. For the resteraunt customers: Is it really too much to ask to NOT put trays in the garbage cans?

[mrsjfreak]

*Don't talk like you have something in your mouth! "Moofufumoocan *mumble* moofufumoomoo" is NOT something I understand!

*Don't scare me when you come in! If you see I'm working on paperwork, don't scream "HEY HOW ARE YA?" so that everyone in the mall can hear you. I tend to concentrate on what I am doing, so yelling to get my attention when you're 2 feet away from me aggravates my heart murmur. Let's not go giving your friendly neighborhood GNC gal a heart attack, shall we?

*Yes, I was wearing a wedding ring not long ago, no I'm not wearing it now, nor will I be wearing it again. It's not your business that I'm divorcing, so don't ask. I don't mention anything about you kissing all over a new man each week, do I? Didn't think so.

*KNOW WHAT YOU'RE LOOKING FOR BEFORE YOU COME IN! Telling me that you're looking for a certain item that does this, but you're not sure of the name, then allowing me to name every single product in the store that does that, and saying "no" to every name doesn't help. And screaming "Well I know you carry it!" doesn't help me either. I'm sure we do carry it, but I need more specifics before I can find it for you.

*Don't scream at me, calling me an idiot and any other name that you can think of because I can't go to my register and look up products and descriptions. I don't have any control over what our register has inside its memory. I have no capability to look it up unless I go to my home all the way on the other side of the city and look it up online. Sorry.

*I don't care that you're in a "hurrrrryyyyyy" and need to gett going. I'm NOT dropping a $300 sale so I can go cash you out for a $2.99 protein drink and a $1.99 protein bar. Calm your hormones, wait patiently and let me do my job. I don't want, nor NEED your stupid bar and drink sale anyways. You're killing my UPTs and DPTs. So you can go down to Eckerd's and pay twice as much for your bar and drink, I personally don't care. I'll take my $300 sale with $10 of commission over you $5 sale with no commission. I'm sure that will heal the heartbreak I have because you decided to shop elsewhere. And oh, by the way, see you tomorrow!

*Don't come into the store and refuse assistance in finding something and then curse me out because you can't find it. I'm not here to look like a doorstop, I'm here to help. I know where 90% of the merchandise is, all you gotta do is ask. I promise I don't bite!

*Try to pronounce the name of the product correctly. I know some of the product names are hard. but please don't butcher the name so badly that I can't help you find it.

*Don't yell at me when I come out from the back. Don't say you've been here 10 minutes when you've been here only 2. I only just went back there to go to the bathroom. I have a 6-8 hour shift (depending on the day) and I'm the only one on, it's really hard to have to hold it til someone else comes in.

*Don't come in as soon as I open and buy a drink or a bar and give me a bill higher than a 10. I don't have anything more than 5s or 1s, and I rarely, if EVER, have the change for $100 bill. Don't scream at me, it's not my fault.

* When calling to ask about "performance" products, please do me a huge favor: SPARE ME THE DETAILS!!!! I don't care that you can't "go" for more than 5 minutes and your girlfriend is mad at you. That's not something that I want to hear! Also, don't ask me personal questions about my bedroom life, and no, I haven't really had any "frustrating" situations like yours. It's not your business anyways if I have. The more and more you tell me, the less professional I get. I'm sorry that I'm trying not to giggle in your ear. I think it's hilarious that you're telling a total stranger about your bedroom life. I just told you which products are popular, now please SPARE ME of any more details. You're killin' me over here! Oh, and no, I haven't had any personal experience using any of these products, now please leave me alone!

[Marxfan]

More things not to do in my store:

Do not send your kids in the restaurant to place an order! Jeez, how lazy can you get?? Come in with them or use the drive-thru. It's one thing to teach kids responsibility, it's another to treat them like "gofers!"

Do place your orders at once. When you place an order and pay, then place another order, and then another, and then another, it holds up the line and basically pisses me off. Besides, you can't want the stuff that badly if you just thought of it...

Do believe me when I tell you how much something is or if we're out of something. It's not only insulting that you don't believe me, it's just stupid. Why would I lie to you? What could I possibly gain from it?

Do NOT sit your toddler on the counter! It's so fucking unsanitary, and they probably have done "twosies" in their damn Pull-Ups!

Do teach your kid to say thank you. And do reprimand them when they give me the evil eye. Life's going to be very tough for them if you don't.

Do not tell me to smile. You try working on your feet since 5 a.m. and tell me how perky you feel. Besides, I may not be smiling, but I'm a hell of a lot more likable than you.

[Tria]

*Also, why do they say that? The same people whom say "I'll do a" preface their order with "yeeeeeaaaaaaaaahhh . . . ,"

I'll get you a copy of that memo.

[Delphae]

Don't aske me the price of an item. I don't memorize prices.

Don't let your kids run wild.

Don't ask me for a raincheck when we still have them in stock.

Don't get mad and ask when we are closing because we don't have an item 3 hours before truck comes.

The parking lot is not a skate park.

Don't walk down the isle with stuff all over the floor unless you need to get something in it. Then get the item and go. You are in the way and could trip over something.

[Dreamstalker]

--If I field a question with "Wow, I don't know much about X, but what about [directly related Y]?", that does mean I don't know much (or anything) about X and am suggesting an alternative product/ area of discussion. Please don't continue with X, for both our sanity.

--Don't act impatient if I have a brain-fart and forget an inventory code for all of the five seconds it takes to look it up. Some items have a completely whacked coding system, not my doing.

--Also don't get pissy if a new book doesn't scan. It's in our system with the correct ISBN, just won't scan for whatever reason. It will take about two seconds to look it up.

--Don't even try to make a purchase at 10:01. The register is shut down at 10, you had 15 minutes warning.