Ever had a "WTF moment"?

[BookstoreEscapee]

I guess it makes a bit more sense now. I did direct her to Things Remembered, so hopefully that's something they would have.

That's where I would have sent them. They do carry that kind of thing.

and, Coffee juice? ew.

[JustADude]

A combination coffemaker/juicer.

Hey, Fred, what kind of smoothie do you want?

Dark roast, black.

[RogueThinker]

It's the air in Vancouver

Okay, so a guy came into my store one day and asked me where the guns were. I thought I had misheard him, but he told me that back in the 70s he had purchased a gun from my store. There are several problems with this.

1) The store in question is the gift shop of a museum. We sold jewelry, art, t-shirts and other gift-type stuff.
2) It's Vancouver. Last I checked, handguns were not sold so freely. In fact, I honestly have never seen a gun for sale anywhere in the city.
3) He said he bought it in the early 70s. The museum opened in '76.
and finally
4) The guy was, at most, 37. Which means to have purchased a working handgun from the museum gift shop in 1972, he would have had to make an illegal purchase from a patch of dirt at the ripe old age of 3.

[South Texan]

Back when I was fifteen, I was a busboy at a hotel. One night, I was assigned to work a big banquet that took up all of our meeting/banquet rooms.

The husband of the hostess came up to me about half an hour into the event, and asked when the Hoard of Erves would be here. I could tell the guy had been drinking heavily. I had no idea what he was talking about, but after confirming that he was asking about the Hoard of Erves and thinking it must be a big family or group of people from an organization like the Optimists, I told him that I did not have a guest list, but I would inform him if I saw a large group come in.

He got mad and told me that he had paid for the Hoard of Erves and they should be ready by now, so he expected them to be served immediately. Still not understanding what he wanted (although most of you by now have figured it out), I told him that I was not in charge of the banquet, but I would find out where their table was and make sure they were served as soon as they were seated.

At this point he got red in the face and demanded to speak with our manager. As soon as I brought the manager in, his wife came up to us and apologized while laughing due to her husband not knowing how to say hors d’œuvre (pronounced "or durv") and for him getting so worked up about it. Five waitresses had been passing them on trays - as had been ordered - the whole time her husband had been asking about them.

She thought the confusion was cute. Her Husband never said anything to me the rest of the night. My manager still chewed me out for causing a problem.

[Pagan]

The only reason I can think as to why those happened was that it was a full moon that night.

And it was a blue moon on top of it!!

[Reyneth]

I've also got very good at translating the various pronounciations of Glucosamine,
I've heard them all, from Glusamicine through to Cusine. And have managed to work out what they wanted every time.

When my grandma was still in Assisted Living, it was interesting figuring out which medication she was talking about. The most notable was Detrola (said rhyming with victrola, yaknow, the old music players? lol). No Grandma, not Detrola, Detrol-LA. And not "granular bars," granola bars. Those were the two most notable.

Last month I had an early bird who kept peering in the front windows, waiting for me to open. When I did (exactly at opening time), she marched down the hallway/aisle (there's only one) past the photo lab and albums to the portrait area, back up again, up to the front with the displays of cards and frames in the windows, and then indignatly over to me.
"Where are your cameras? I want to see them!"
Lady, we've never sold cameras. Do you see any here? That's because we don't HAVE them!
She tried to argue with me for a good 3 minutes until I had other customers in and she left, still in a huff.

People, just because there is "photo" in the name does not mean you sell cameras, nor do you have every kind of camera accessory known to man! Try a camera store, ever think of that?

[CSR Kim]

And yeah, you order them at jewelry stores -- the better, full-service ones like tiffany's.

Well, we definitely aren't Tiffany's. We are a kiosk, but owned by a major jewelry store chain.

I had another WTF moment tonight.

Lady walks up, asks if we have sterling silver toe rings. We do, but they aren't on display since the case that normally holds them is broken. So I pull out the tray with the toe rings on them and let her look. She asks, "Are any of these on sale like those?" (pointing at some pink tagged clearance merchandise that is on display in the case we're standing at). I say, "No, only the items with the pink tags are on sale." (Which is none of the toe rings I'm showing her) She says, with a sort of know-it-all tone to her voice, "Well, couldn't they be on sale since they're not on display?" Me: I'm not even sure how that made sense. Backstock = automatically on sale? Even when I just said it has to have a pink tag on it? We don't randomly sale stuff anyway. Throughout the year we scan merchandise to find out what's being clearanced out. If it's not on the list, no dice.

[Rabegwynn]

Yes, I have had a WTF moment. It was when I worked for Starbucks. A customer orders a caramel frap and a lemon loaf. All is cool until...

Me: Ok, sir, that'll be x.xx.

SC: I'd like the lemon loaf blended into the frap.

Me: Are you sure?

SC: Yes, don't argue with me!

Then he has the nerve to complain that the frap tasted like shit, and we had to make another caramel frap and give him a fresh lemon loaf. Some people!

[CancelMyService]

I had a guy ask about wireless routers. He asked if it was true that the range was about 150 feet. I said yes, that was about the typical range, possibly less depending on the size of the house and whatnot. He was disheartened to hear that since his plan was for his mom to get a wireless router and he would access it from his house, which apparently was more than 150 feet away.

He also asked "well couldn't I just log into someone else's network?" I told him yes he could, but that would be illegal. Again he seemed disappointed.

This wasn't a case of an older person just not aware of technology, the guy sounded to be my age or younger. I thought kids these days get their first computer lessons as soon as the doctor cuts the umbilical cord.

[MinimaMagistra]

SC: I'd like the lemon loaf blended into the frap.

Whahumawuh? I... wha?

That... good LORD, that is the grossest drink I've heard of. Even when I worked a coffeeplace for two years, the weirdest thing I made, I think, was a cookies and cream (crushed up oreos) freezer with a shot of espresso in it and made with bananna base (for our fruit freezers) instead of ice cream base. It was the most DISGUSTING color I've e'er seen. They drank it, though.

But, yeah. Meal-to-go? Or not so much. Ew.

[Broomjockey]

That... good LORD, that is the grossest drink I've heard of. Even when I worked a coffeeplace for two years, the weirdest thing I made, I think, was a cookies and cream (crushed up oreos) freezer with a shot of espresso in it and made with bananna base (for our fruit freezers) instead of ice cream base. It was the most DISGUSTING color

Amatuer. I would get neon green italian sodas at work. My own special concoction. They practically GLOWED. Lemon, Lime, Root Beer, Bubble Gum. People would tell me "That looks like toxic waste"

[jrh215]

Somone once asked me if we sold "salmonella" candles. I was a little bit at a loss for words, so I asked her what exactly a salmonella candle was.

"You know, you light it to keep the bugs away."

"Oh," I said, "you want a citronella candle."

[Dreamstalker]

Whahumawuh? I... wha?

That... good LORD, that is the grossest drink I've heard of.

But, yeah. Meal-to-go? Or not so much. Ew.

I second that and add an "ebbeh...fwuh?!"

This guy wanted a baked good stuffed in the blender with a coffee drink, and wonders why it tastes like crap? (lemon loaf no less...icky combo)

I can't even begin to think where he escaped from...

[Becks]

moment... Let's see. Goodwill. A customer comes in, looks at half the clothing on the sales floor, then asks, "Do you have anything that's never been worn before?"

O...K...

Although, to be fair, towards the end of my tenure there, we DID get stuff from Target that didn't sell (even on clearance) and the occasional broken/cracked/missing threads/otherwise sellable but not in perfect condition stuff.

George Bush and Dick Cheney are sitting in a restaurant, perusing the menu. A waitress (the heroine of our story) approaches, asks for their order.
"Quickie..." George mumbles.
Waitress, unsurprisingly, falters, and asks him to repeat himself.
"I want a quickie."
Waitress storms off. Once she's out of range, Dick Cheney leans over and says, "George, it's pronounced Keesh."

The major players in the joke are unimportant, that's just how I heard it.

I know you said that the players are unimportant, but I always heard the joke as staring Bill Clinton and...someone else. I personally think it's funnier with BC.

[TonyDonuts]

Apparently, hydromatic means automatic transmission.

Yeah, back in the day (the 1940s) the first automatic transmission was called the Hydra-Matic. How old was this person? The last time I heard anybody use that term was when I was a kid (when dinosaurs roamed the earth).