Not your face, not your concern

[Ree]

Well, asking about a bandage on a face is a prime example of a rude, personally invasive, and unnecessary question.

As for being overly dramatic, why don't we all calm down, shall we?

As a victim of sexual abuse, I am insulted by the idea that someone deliberately modifying/altering/disfiguring their body inviting curious questions compares to the idea that someone dressing a certain way is inviting sexual attacks.

Curious or annoying question does not equal being sexually violated.

You are well within your rights to be upset by questions.

You don't like people asking. That's fine.
That's how you personally feel.
You were venting about it. That's fine.
That's why the site is here.

There are always going to be some of us who do not understand the body modification trend, and we never will, and since you are not able to explain it yourself, and neither are some of the others, only to say it makes them feel comfortable in their skin, there is always going to be disagreement and misunderstanding.

As has been said numerous times, at the core of all questions, as well as comments to each other there should always be

[rerant]

BaristaGirl: I've actually been considering a microdermal myself, since I've never personally seen anyone who has one and it's one of the few piercings that still holds some originaity to it.
However, since it's a relatively new procedure I'm not aware of anyone who does it around here.
They're very pretty, though.

As a victim of sexual abuse, I am insulted by the idea that someone deliberately modifying/altering/disfiguring their body inviting curious questions compares to the idea that someone dressing a certain way is inviting sexual attacks.

Curious or annoying question does not equal being sexually violated.

I wasn't saying that they were the same thing, or even comparable, just that the argument that, "you're inviting questions," is as ridiculous as the argument of a woman "asking for it" based on attire.
My intention wasn't to offend anyone.

[justZu]

I have something called a microdermal. It's a piercing with one point of entry, located on the upper part of my right cheek, beneath my eye, and out to the side. All you see is a little gem there, but in reality there is a bar underneath my skin holding it in.

I had not heard of that before, so I googled it. It's cute.

My 17y.o. daughter is beginning to get into piercings. So far she has an industrial, gauged ear holes(still kind of small), and her tongue is pierced. She will be getting another piercing after soccer season is finished, so it heals up in time before lacrosse season begins.
It truly makes me angry when "well meaning"(nosy) family members make faces and ask why I would ever let her do that to herself. They conveniently overlook the facts that she is a good student, active in sports, and a fun interesting person. No, she is just to be looked at in a funny way because she likes to pierce things(and dye her hair "unusual" colors). As if that is the sum total of her life.

[BaristaGirl]

So, wait, you can have all the piercings you want as long as they're in your ears, but you have to cover up one tiny sparkle on your face? To be honest, I don't know what all the ear piercings are, exactly, but I'm guessing they are more noticeable than a little jewel on your cheek...

What about people who wear nose studs as a cultural thing (I'm thinking like Indian women who wear tiny diamonds)? Would they have to cover those up, too?

Well, at TD's, it's supposedly one piercing per ear and "no" facial piercings. But I cover it up (because the piercing is WAY more important than the job to me) because that's 'policy' for dealing with people who have or get that stuff, since they can't really stop me from doing something like that to my body. And ears, well, I usually cover them both with my very long hair so it isn't an issue. I'm not putting bandaids awkwardly on my ear. x.x()

At Mac, they don't care about your ears but they care about your face. Most of the waitresses with nose/eyebrow piercings just ignore the manager when he tells them to take 'em out of cover 'em up, though. I bandaid mind out of respect, wanting to keep my job, and the fact that I bought bandaids just to do it. *Shrug!*

At both jobs, though, there are people who don't cover it up, who ignore the manager. I suppose people with cultural piercings would get a free pass but the town I live and work in is not very culturally diverse at all...

[Ree]

I wasn't saying that they were the same thing, or even comparable, just that the argument that, "you're inviting questions," is as ridiculous as the argument of a woman "asking for it" based on attire.

I know you weren't personally comparing them, and I was trying to word my answer properly, but obviously failed.

I still don't buy the argument that body modification inviting questions is as ridiculous as saying personal attire invites assault, but I think it's time we just agreed to disagree.

[ArenaBoy]

I am friends with people that a "normal" society would stare at. This ranges from a guy with dreads that goes past his butt (His hair is LONG and it's probably longer than it looks) to a girl that has 5 tattoos and has hair that's purple at the moment.

IMO there's nothing wrong with body modification (When it comes to tattoos it should at least be something meaningful to the person). People are going to be curious when a person looks out of the ordinary, I learned that when my hair was long. There's a very fine line between curiosity and sneering at a person for their choices. Curiosity would be asking where one got it done or what made them interested in piercing a part of their body. The OP is putting up with condescension from customers ("Why would you do THAT to your body?" Or questions of a sexual nature and piercings.) The problem of that line is that so many people cross it. Some people also seem to have this strange urge of playing consultant to a stranger, it's nobody's business as to what one does with their body except for the owner of that body.

Point is that people do things because they want to. My friend with the dreads grew his hair out and did it in dreads because he can, I am growing my hair out again and it's because they can. Many people don't seem to understand that one does things because they can.

Someone mentioned a druggie stereotype when it comes to piercings. I know a few addicts and they wouldn't be able to afford the piercings (Spending on their habits) but then again I don't know how much piercings cost.

[myswtghst]

Someone mentioned a druggie stereotype when it comes to piercings. I know a few addicts and they wouldn't be able to afford the piercings (Spending on their habits) but then again I don't know how much piercings cost.

The only piercings I've had that were "cheap" were when I got my ear lobes pierced at a stand in the mall, or a place like Claire's that uses a gun and just makes you pay for jewelry. My tats and other piercings all were between $50-$100, IIRC, depending on size and placement, since I had them done at a respectable and well-reputed location.

It truly makes me angry when "well meaning"(nosy) family members make faces and ask why I would ever let her do that to herself. They conveniently overlook the facts that she is a good student, active in sports, and a fun interesting person. No, she is just to be looked at in a funny way because she likes to pierce things(and dye her hair "unusual" colors). As if that is the sum total of her life.

I'm pretty sure my mom feels the same way, though she might freak if I were to pierce my face (which I have no intention of doing). I may be the only one of the neighborhood kids who has tats, multiple piercings and has had so many unusual hair colors and styles, but I'm also one of the few who: 1) has a college degree, 2) has not been arrested, 3) has a good job, and 4) has their own place. Unfortunately, there will always be people to whom different=bad, I'm just glad my family (82 yo grandma included) are more enlightened than that.

[Tria]

I am friends with people that a "normal" society would stare at. This ranges from a guy with dreads that goes past his butt (His hair is LONG and it's probably longer than it looks) to a girl that has 5 tattoos and has hair that's purple at the moment.

Never liked dreads, they always looked dirty, matted and nasty to me.

[Broomjockey]

Never liked dreads, they always looked dirty, matted and nasty to me.

Generally, I know what you mean, but I do have to say I've seen some excellent dreads, and usually by the time they get that long, the person knows how to take care of them. I'd hope.

[blas]

I don't like dreads either. Gives me the impression that bathing is not high on that person's priority list.

My friend got fake dreads put into her hair last fall. A year ago now, I'd say. $300 they were. She hated them so much that she cut them off the next day.

What a waste.

[NightAngel]

I suppose just asking is probably better than snickering, whispering and pointing, eh?

My opinion is simply that if you're going to have a chunk or chunks of metal sticking out of various places you should expect attention. Maybe good- maybe bad. Really it seems to me that you may feel 'natural' with your 'mods' then you need to accept that maybe others feel just as natural expressing their curiosity.

Sure, some of the questions in the OP were tasteless and shouldn't be asked- I'll agree with that.

No one would damn a cat for going after the shiney thing.
Humans aren't really any different- except we ask questions instead of batting the item around until it's dead.

I have lots of customers with 'mods'. I don't ask them about it because I don't really care.

As a side note...

Here is a man I have a great deal of respect for:
Art Aguirre: Church of Steel

He welcomes questions about his tattoos and piercings.

I have a quote about him from ~somewhere out there~...

A polite and thoughtful man, Aguirre is a professional piercing artist and body-modifier. His goal is to cover his own body with Polynesian and Marquesan art. A cancer survivor, he says that being a modern primitive is "all about a love of life...a primal urge" he is compelled to express.

I'd have cited the source but I lost it and can't find it now. Art Aguirre was an Alt on the Sci-Fi Channels Mad, Mad House.

Truly an outstanding person.

[ArenaBoy]

Never liked dreads, they always looked dirty, matted and nasty to me.

Generally, I know what you mean, but I do have to say I've seen some excellent dreads, and usually by the time they get that long, the person knows how to take care of them. I'd hope.

I don't like dreads either. Gives me the impression that bathing is not high on that person's priority list.

This man is the exact opposite. He takes good care of himself if anything. He knows what he's doing with these dreads and he ties them back when the situation calls for it. Granted when I first met him it was a bit of a shock but he keeps his hair clean. He tied his hair back for his wedding and he doesn't smell at all.

I've seen some bad dreads too in my time. The worst was a cross-country buddy of mine who did a bad job of making himself look like Bob Marley. They were bad.

As for tattoos; allow me to introduce former Rage Against The Machine bassist Tim Commerford. The tattoo you see in the picture covers up his entire back too.

[Broomjockey]

This man is the exact opposite. He takes good care of himself if anything. He knows what he's doing with these dreads and he ties them back when the situation calls for it.

Quick question: Are the the large ones or the smaller ones? I've seen the smaller ones done well much more often, but the big ones from time to time as well. And I must say, the well done ones I really like the look of.

[ArenaBoy]

Quick question: Are the the large ones or the smaller ones?

Smaller ones. Does a really good job of keeping it maintained.

[Andara Bledin]

Never liked dreads, they always looked dirty, matted and nasty to me.

I saw a guy on the bus just the other week with some of the larger dreds that looked really, really nice. They were obviously quite clean and about as tidy as dreds get.

I agree that striking up a conversation is a good thing, but I would much rather talk about the weather.

Sorry, but F*** the weather.

If I am feeling inspired to strike up a conversation, it sure as hell will not be about anything so completely banal as the weather.

One thing that might be considered is that most forms of bigotry and predjudice are founded in ignorance. The only real cure to ignorance is the sharing of information. Do with that as you will.

^-.-^