Secret Agent Man

[FenigDurak]

Two words: Stocking Stuffers.

Quite. Perhaps that person is a fan of GK's and was completely unaware of sharing a store space with him at that VERY MOMENT and that the condoms and breathmints are in fact, stocking stuffers for the 867 customers. I bet he's making a valiant attempt at slowly and innocuously wiping Nunavut off the map forever!

[Gurndigarn]

Next time DeathToAmerica gives you a long break, you need to respond to him with "Dude! There you are! I was getting worried about you!"

[BookstoreEscapee]

Me: "Good evening, <company> Helicopters"
SC: "Oh…uh….I keep dialing the wrong number!"
Me: "Yes, you have the wrong number."
SC: "Uh….I'm calling from the Nunavut."

Well, at least he seems to understand the source of his fail....

Two words: Stocking Stuffers.

ew

[Sliceanddice]

maybe hes trying to control the population of 867

[Pagan]

I do believe that Becky, me, and the rest of the GK Fangirls/guys need to gather up copius amounts of alcohol and take it on up to him! And I know a really great place to get margaritas here! Sounds like Gravekeeper really, really needs a drink or five.

[Kara]

Insane Fistfight Hobo

And yet, if you take this same situation, stir in some Brad Pitt, and call it "Fight Club," everyone loves it for some inexplicable reason.

Me: "But it's cold out!"

Okay, that's like Awesome squared. I definitely will need to remember that next time a customer suggests I go procreate with something/someone/myslef.

Me: "Good evening, <company> Helicopters"

You do support for Helicopters? Like, civilian or military? Cause I'm thinking that a quick call to order out some Apaches would not only take care of your 867 problem, but also put a big smile on your face.

[XCashier]

Holy crud. Just when I think your customers can't get any worse, they all breed with their siblings and produce the next generation of 867ers.

Am sending you a virtual hot chocolate with a generous dollop of Bailey's.

Oh, and I love your new avatar! Red tabbies are adorable!

[Bluenomi]

Wish I got phone calls about helicopters, I just get the buggers flying around the office! Admittedly only little ones but they do cause some amusment when they crash into the printer at high speeds

Anywho, back on topic, I'm going to have to borrow your DIY tips. I've got some people I need to give it to...

[iLOVEcustomerservice]

dude... i love you... i've never laughed so hard

[Ackee]

Creepy Little Condom Man

You know, you can covertly purchase a box of condoms at 7/11 and no one will bat an eyelash. You can't, however, covertly purchase every box of condoms in the entire store in one huge stack and then wonder why everyone in line is looking at you funny. You also purchased $10 worth of breath mints.

I do not know what you have planned but from a completely objective standpoint you are vastly overestimating your own attractiveness.

Yes, I know. I recognize that "Genetics has been unspeakable cruel to me" tone in your voice.





That was my weekend. How was your guy's? =p

AWW Gravekeeper, you are sarcasm king, I worship you

[Mango]

After which I shall fix the problem by snapping my fingers and make puppies with lollipops fall out of your ass and bark the first two verses of "We Are The World".

I often feel relieved when I remember that if I ever become an American citizen, have a flight canceled and need a hotel, require vast amounts of pink camo, want a helicopter ride, get my car stuck in a parking garage, need to pay my utility bill, and have a problem with my apartment, all in the same day, there's a one-stop shop.

Gravekeeper, thank you, thank you, for making me laugh today - I needed that! You, sir, have written some of the funniest things I've ever seen.

[smileyeagle1021]

I often feel relieved when I remember that if I ever become an American citizen, have a flight canceled and need a hotel, require vast amounts of pink camo, want a helicopter ride, get my car stuck in a parking garage, need to pay my utility bill, and have a problem with my apartment, all in the same day, there's a one-stop shop.

Gravekeeper, thank you, thank you, for making me laugh today - I needed that! You, sir, have written some of the funniest things I've ever seen.

i'm hurt, you're turning to gravekeeper instead of me for your hotel... well say good bye to your friends and family discount

[AKATHEPOOF]

Death To America!

Me: "Good morning, <unmentionable US agency>"
SC: "Yeah, how much do they pay you to suck US cock you treasonous whore?!"
Me: "Hmm, about <hourly wage>?"
SC: "…..<hourly wage>?! You should be out working the streets you whore!"
Me: "But it's cold out!"
SC: "*(&$@ you, you (*@$%*%*@ <click>."

this, and the image a of fighting hobo about killed me.

[Howler]

J

After which I shall fix the problem by snapping my fingers and make puppies with lollipops fall out of your ass and bark the first two verses of "We Are The World".

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA <breathe> HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

You know I'm gonna steal that, right?

[monolayth]

I love you gravekeeper..........wanna run off and get married? lol.