Oh noez! Secret shopper!

[Becks]

Me: “Ok, what’s the item number?”
SC: “xxxx-xx”
Me: “Alright, what size would you like?”
SC: “75”

Ok, first: A number wasn't even an option. It's S, M, L or XL and second I may not know much about clothing but I'm pretty sure I could comfortably live in a size 75 and still rent out the crotch as an in-suite.

75? I could build a nice tent city in my backyard for all the feral cats.

Me: “Alright, and what colour would you like?”
SC: “uh…camel..er, kamoo…um…cargo?”
Me: “You mean camo?”
SC: “Yeah.”

As depressing as your literacy level is, “kamoo” did amuse me so I’ll let you off the hook this time,

Heh heh, kamoo.

Hmmmmmmmm...why do I have the sudden urge to look for pink kamoo underthings?

Pop Quiz! This caller is:

A) A Vegas lounge act.
B) A porn star.
C) A Bond villain.
D) All of the above.

Where's the option for being in Witness Protection?

[Gravekeeper]

So I'm a bit confused. What'a a "test caller" and how exactly is that different then a secret shopper?

Test callers are the call center equivalent of secret shoppers. But they test tone of voice, use of language, adherence to script, etc etc. They don't "shop" so to speak and usually avoid actual order desk lines all together since placing an order is time consuming ( Which costs the client money so BIG no no ) and troublesome ( They need to provide a fake name, address, payment information, etc ).

Up here in Canada there's two major organizations that do this and rate call centers. But the big one is Cam-X who rates telecommunications companies in Canada on a bi-annual basis or so.

But they never test call us on order desks or high priority lines. Since it ties up the line and costs the end user / client money since many of our clients are charged per call / case.

A secret shopper just comes into your store, pesters your staff, then writes you a bad review when you don't bend over a table with your pants down for them. ^^

[Gravekeeper]

Hmmmmmmmm...why do I have the sudden urge to look for pink kamoo underthings?

I believe we already found those once. ><

[Becks]

I believe we already found those once. ><

Yeah, I know, but I might actually buy some.

[CorDarei]

I too am on dial up, at least until this weekend. My DSL installation kit is due to be delivered tomorrow. Service will be ready Friday, so guess what I'm doing this weekend...

surfing pr0n?

[smileyeagle1021]

I must apologize to gravekeeper (and everyone on the board) but my roommate ordered pink camo pajamas for her daughter a couple of weeks ago.

[Javarod]

A secret shopper just comes into your store, pesters your staff, then writes you a bad review when you don't bend over a table with your pants down for them. ^^

That's not always the fault of the secret shopper. Back when I worked for RGIS Inventory Specialists a long time ago, we had a contract with Office Max to shop not only their stores, but also their competitors. One of their competitors scored a 100% on the shop, a no-no, in fact they wouldn't accept the report until we found a fault , so we complained about the parking.

[Bliss]

I'm sorry to tell you this Gravekeeper, but at the ISP we still have 6000 active Dial-Up accounts

[Seshat]

The equation is very simple. Even your primitive sub-human mind should be able to grasp it:

FD = ( Shipping Cost – Item Cost ) + 1

FD is the “Fuckwit Differential”. If FD is a positive number then this is the amount of additional funds, in dollars, you must pay to avoid looking like a complete idiot.

For example you purchased a $34 hat and paid $40 shipping. So:

FD = ( 40 – 34 ) + 1 = 7. So you need to order an additional item that costs at least $7 in order to avoid looking like a total raging moron. You of course failed to do this.

If I chose to live in a remote location, I'd simply accept that shipping costs would occasionally exceed the cost of the item. It's part of the deal I would accept by choosing to live somewhere only accessible by prop plane, helicopter, dogsled or camel caravan.

That said, I'd probably be a little bit smart about it and order a sewing machine, then purchase fabric by the bolt.

Do you know how much pink camo stuff you can make with a whole bolt of pink camo cotton drill?

[Mikaiyawa]

Do you know how much pink camo stuff you can make with a whole bolt of pink camo cotton drill?

10, 25 or 40 yards bolt? or are you talking going whole Hog and getting a 100 yard roll?

I do know it takes about 14 yards (of anything) to make a full length unlined kimono.

some of those calls though classic Idiot.

Mieka

[Sonoma]

surfing pr0n?

Sorry, no pr0n surfing here. Though, I now have one more chore to do now. Must remove nachos from monitor. Then, I will stick Rule #1 on a post-it, for future reference.

Thanks, GK. I got the install kit today. Looks fairly straight-forward. Plus, my brother-in-law set up his network not too long ago, and he owes me for several weekends of house & pet-sitting.

[Imogene]

SC: “This may take a while. I’m on dial up.”

But... but... but... GAH! How? How are you on 'Dial-up' and still on the phone with GK? Do you really have two phone lines in your house? And why?

[Gravekeeper]

But... but... but... GAH! How? How are you on 'Dial-up' and still on the phone with GK? Do you really have two phone lines in your house? And why?

Dual ordering action!

...sadly its quite possible. Many nights I get several calls from the same household ( Defying logic since they all insist on paying seperately thus everyone gets a $40 charge. ).

I'm sorry to tell you this Gravekeeper, but at the ISP we still have 6000 active Dial-Up accounts

Once again. I was joking. I know full well dial up still exists and is still fairly wide spread.

[Stormraven]

But... but... but... GAH! How? How are you on 'Dial-up' and still on the phone with GK? Do you really have two phone lines in your house? And why?

Yep. So I can be online without tying up the voice line. You know, that old thing that came before cell phones?

[MystyGlyttyr]

Pop Quiz

Caller: “My name is Santiaga Mystery”

Pop Quiz! This caller is:

A) A Vegas lounge act.
B) A porn star.
C) A Bond villain.
D) All of the above.

*shuffles through mental wrestler name rolodex* Hmm. No hits there. It's possible they're some sort of luchador I haven't heard of or a newbie. Buuuuuuut I'm going to vote for D anyway.