Father Entitlement (creepy)

[gunsage]

To AngryCas: (I hadn't realized there were multiple pages to this, so likely I'll pipe up later)

Fortunately, nothing terrible happened. Creepy, yes, but you're okay. Pepper spray's good, so it kobutan (I think that's how you spell it). And if all else fails, I'm sure he had some oh so easily targetted gonads vs. your ever-ready knees. Can't get to the nuts? Fine, go for the windpipe. Thumb, knuckle, back of the hand...doesn't matter. That'll get his attention.

[AngryCas]

They ended up firing the guy and I got hired as a manager. For almost a year after the company would have someone escort me to my car and meet me at my car in the morning to walk me in the building. I learned never to just sit back and hope it stops speak up before it gets worse.

Oh wow, that is definitely creepy. I know the feeling -- you don't want to get anyone else involved because in your head, it shouldn't have escalated that far. I know I definitely felt like I had caused it until I started writing about it and putting it into perspective.

I'm VERY glad they took action, and you decided not to just hope it stopped. Sometimes I don't know what would happen if employees and management weren't as supportive.

[princess4life]

I have been in similar situations; never think it is your fault. I am very flirty and very friendly as well.

I had a co-worker one time that first started making comments that made me uncomfortable, sometime about how I smell or how I looked that day. Then he started asking me if I would ever cheat on my husband, or if I had ever had a threesome. Shortly after that he would turn around at his desk and stare over the short part of the cubical wall at me. It got to the point where he would hear me saying I was going to lunch and he would try to take his lunch at the same time to sit with me at lunch. At first I didn't say anything I thought I must be doing something to make him do these thing with the comments I would laugh and say something like are you trying to make me blush. One day one of the managers asked me if I had noticed anything weird about this guy because someone else had pointed out that he was not working he was to busy staring at me. I begged for him to move me to another desk stating I couldn't pay attention to my work. They moved me to a different desk but every time I stood up and walked anywhere he would get up shortly after and follow me. He even started to follow me to my car. . . I have a black belt, but that weirder me out and I called out for another manager that was leaving at the time with an excuse that I forgot to ask them something. The finale line was when this guy started sending me Instant Messages saying in detail what he wanted to do to me. He would follow me to my car every night and sit by the microwaves in the break room so I would have to go by him to cook my lunch so I started to skip lunch. The manager asked me again if there was anything going on he had noticed I was skipping lunch or going to get my husband at lunch I finally broke down in tears and told him everything that was going on. I told him I was scared to say anything because I was a contractor and I didn't want to be let go for causing problems, and that I felt I was to blame some how. They ended up firing the guy and I got hired as a manager. For almost a year after the company would have someone escort me to my car and meet me at my car in the morning to walk me in the building. I learned never to just sit back and hope it stops speak up before it gets worse.

[AngryCas]

And seriously, wearing his robes when he's nowhere near a church? I've met some nice, normal priests, and they wear sweaters and trousers outside of the church, not formal robes.

Me, knowing nothing about Priests, figured it was just how all Priests dressed. I guess it's the Priests who wear their robes else where do it for the authority power.

When I am a teacher, I'm going to carry an apple and a ruler with me everywhere, and threaten to send retail employees out back to clean erasers.

In a lighter note, if you see at the bottom of my post, I loved one of your phrases here and adopted it as part of my signature, I wondered if you minded or approved?

I feel like at least SOME good has come from this!!

Thanks for the words! I am glad all of this happened. I needed a good "wake up" call. I got it.

[Saydrah]

I wonder if he's related to the priest locally who was caught streaking 'round the high school jogging track!

And seriously, wearing his robes when he's nowhere near a church? I've met some nice, normal priests, and they wear sweaters and trousers outside of the church, not formal robes.

[ktopmil]

Your not the only one this happens to. I had a similar expirience. I was also a very open and somewhat playful person at work, until that expirience. I also get people who talk to me about religon at the workplace, which can be uncomftorable as you know. Unfortunalty, I am no longer as open as I used to be, and my work has suffered for it. But don't let that happen to you, theres a difference between being playful and knowing where to draw the line.

It's hard to feel safe when someone says "If I only was a few years younger," which has also happend to me.

[friendofjimmyk]

holy crap that's scary...it makes it so much wierder that he was a priest.

His age though makes me wonder....not that it's any excuse for this behavior AT ALL....but maybe he has some dementia setting in or something that is causing his better judgment to be impaired...something the church should most definitely look into.

[Bliss]

Well Cas, all I got to say is that I am very very glad it didn't escalate further... still I see you've learned to be wary, that's good for you and for the future, and shall help you a lot, and always keep a small eye out for him. that it was defused now doesn't means he can't bump into you in the future and escalate... thankfully my second advice which would be "never be affraid to say NO upfront' you seem to have taken to heart by now...

Saying NO is very important, and more so doing it clrearly.. for one some people do NOT understand subtleties, they need clear messages, and if they're the type that doiesn't takes NO for an aswer, and things escalate, it's always easier to plead self defense afterwards if you did clear steps to stop this and they where ignored.

Btw like Marasbaras said, it's a hard and fine line, but don't let this ruin you, the creeps out there are the vast minority, they're hard to stop and dangerous but it doesn't means you need to be scared of anyone... as a bullying survivor I know it's hard to trust, but it's totally worth it.

In a lighter note, if you see at the bottom of my post, I loved one of your phrases here and adopted it as part of my signature, I wondered if you minded or approved?

[Pagan]

Like many others have already said, yes, the police should have been contacted. Also, there should have be ye olde obtaining of a TRO. Instead of going down to his church, your boss should have contacted the diocese. This creep is a stalker. Albeit, one that seems to give up quickly, but still....

[prb]

A teacher at my school (a public school) is an Anglican priest (don't ask how I know, he never told anyone), and I'll leave it at: Entitlement Whore, hell yea. I just want to pull out my certificate from the Universal Life Church and then have a priest-vs-priest fight right there in the middle of the school.

[Kyree]

You know, I am not really sure. I guess I told myself that my personality was too flirty. I thought I needed to tone it down. It wasn't until later that I realized I was totally just being myself, and nothing I had done was overboard or near it, and that he was...well... a creep.

You were nowhere near overboard. Just one of the few people actually trying to have fun at their jobs I'm glad you're okay, and I'm glad that he's gone.

[AngryCas]

How was it your fault? I mean, I know you know now that it wasn't, but what made you think so at the time?

You know, I am not really sure. I guess I told myself that my personality was too flirty. I thought I needed to tone it down. It wasn't until later that I realized I was totally just being myself, and nothing I had done was overboard or near it, and that he was...well... a creep.

(I'll be dogged, someone did it to me THIS MORNING)

Well, whaddya know! Father E must do some travelin'! I liked how you handled the situation much better than how I did.

[RetailWorkhorse]

"Do you know Jesus?"

"You mean, like....know-know, or just happen to know in passing?"

"Would you like to get Baptized?"

"In THIS weather? Thanks, but, uh, no. Besides, Dad says that being baptized is a choice, Mister Preacherman, and as the whole YOU'RE A SINNER!!1eleventywtfbbq is too much for me, uhm.....no?"**




If ya look young or ya don't look like your gender then yes you will be approached by people who want to get into your pants (I'll be dogged, someone did it to me THIS MORNING). There are, sadly, a lot of people in positions like the Preacherman who will do this and it makes me sad because if I can't trust Preacherman, who CAN I trust?



**Seriously said to a Preacherman. He looked at me funny since it was something like 99 in the shade but *I* was freezing.

[Shards]

How was it your fault? I mean, I know you know now that it wasn't, but what made you think so at the time?

Victims of crimes such as stalking and sexually based assaults will often find quasi-logical methods of blaming themselves for their victimization, not because they really think it's their fault, but because they would rather feel like the person who is to blame than the person who is completely helpless. It's actually a very normal defense mechanism.

But, I agree with the idea of talking to the authorities, as a future cop myself (hopefully), I can tell you that they want to help, they really do, but unless you give them a prosecutable case, their hands are mainly tied. If you're willing to let them help you, they can usually tell you how to make an un-prosecutable case prosecutable. Also, because cops tend to mainly be from politically conservative backgrounds, many people who live alternative lifestyles are afraid that they will respect the word of a supposed 'high standing member of society' more than that of a 'trashy lesbo', or whatever they can make themselves out to be in their own mind, depending on their lifestyle. This is usually not true. As an officer of the law, most policemen know that it is their duty to protect the people, as long as those people are not infringing on the rights of other people, weather they believe that the people they are protecting are morally right or not. Even if the cops do think that it's wrong for you to 'lay with a woman as you would lay with a man', their job is to defend you unless you are hurting someone else, and even if he is a 'man of god', he is hurting you. Therefore, most cops, even if they felt conflicted about it, would know that it's their job to protect you from him.

Sorry, didn't mean to rant, just saying, don't convince yourself that authorities won't help, because for the most part, they're out to do their job, and that does mean helping when you need it. All you have to do is ask, and then do what they tell you to help them help you. I won't say that all cops are good and that none misuse their power, bot most are, and even if we do disagree with your lifestyle, we will try to help.

[Kyree]

Believe me, I definitely tried to avoid him, but it was very hard because he was showing up on a daily basis, and the shop I worked at was usually manned by a single associate during a shift. If I avoided him every time I saw him, I would have lost valuable customers who were also waiting for me.

That was when my boss stepped in and they started doing something about it.

I do wish I had went to the police, but it's like one of those humiliation issues. I didn't want to feel like a victim. And I told myself it was my fault.

How was it your fault? I mean, I know you know now that it wasn't, but what made you think so at the time?