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As some people may find some aspects of it offensive. I will warn those people now- This will involve talking about my 'other job'- which is (mild) fetish modelling and working the door at the occasional club nights. There will be no talking in detail about what actually go's on, but fetishy stuff will be mentioned. If this might offend you, stop reading this now, or you only have yourself to blame.
So, last night, in return for free entry and drinks and a pass that said 'access all areas' I help out at the fetish night the man I model for runs. I took tickets and stamped hands, and was allowed to be rude to people if they were idiots.
And they were.
About two/three hours in we ran out of on-the-door tickets. We still had some pre-paid people who hadn't collected, but obviously we had to keep those spots free.
Which led to this.
LG: Large Group
Me: Mistress of The Door.
LG walk through doors.
Me: Tickets?
LG: Yes, 6 please.
Me: We've run out of on-the -door tickets I'm afraid.
LG: You're kidding.
Me: Nope, ran out about half an hour ago. Pre-paid only now.
LG: Well, we prepaid. *wink*
Me: Name?
LG: Name thats not on the list.
Me: If your name isn't on the list, then I can't take your word for it.
LG: Oh come on! It won't kill you to let us come in!
Me: Actually, potentially it could. Nearly all the prepaid people are here, and if I let you in we'll be over capacity. If there's a fire we will be unsafe and die. And you lot being in there will make it even hotter than it is, and I am wearing half a yard of vinyl and am sweltering already. I'm not adding 6 more kilowatt heaters to the mix.
LG: Well, it's good for YOU, but not so good for US!
Seriously. The website and all the advertising WARN that on the door tickets are likely to be in short supply. We opened the doors at 8, it is now much later. Why did you think we'd still have tickets this late for the only event of it's kind round here, run once every four months? Yes, it sucks to get all dressed up and walk to the event to be told that you can't come in, but that's what pre-paid tickets are for.
Goody-Bags:
AT the end of the night we handed out goody bags. The idea was people ON THEIR WAY OUT would grab them so they wouldn't throw stuff all over the place. The amount of people who wanted one NOWNOWNOWNOWNOWNOW even though they wouldn't be leaving for another half hour was astonishing. Needless to say, the people who were actually leaving got them, and they ran out before the end. Although it did lead to this rather fascinating discussion with a woman wearing clingfilm as a skirt...
It was all playful (and she COULD get away with the skirt. Just sayin')
CS (Clingfilm Skirt): Can I have my goodie-bag yet?
Me: Are you leaving?
CS: Not yet but I REALLY want a goodie-bag.
Me: Sorry, grab one on your way out.
CS: But your bottom was on my jacket and I couldn't find it! I deserve my goodie-bag!
Me: Yes, my bottm may have been perched on your woolie jacket. But it is a fantastic bottom. Instead of your goodie-bag you can have the satisfaction that it was on your coat.
So, last night, in return for free entry and drinks and a pass that said 'access all areas' I help out at the fetish night the man I model for runs. I took tickets and stamped hands, and was allowed to be rude to people if they were idiots.
And they were.
About two/three hours in we ran out of on-the-door tickets. We still had some pre-paid people who hadn't collected, but obviously we had to keep those spots free.
Which led to this.
LG: Large Group
Me: Mistress of The Door.
LG walk through doors.
Me: Tickets?
LG: Yes, 6 please.
Me: We've run out of on-the -door tickets I'm afraid.
LG: You're kidding.
Me: Nope, ran out about half an hour ago. Pre-paid only now.
LG: Well, we prepaid. *wink*
Me: Name?
LG: Name thats not on the list.
Me: If your name isn't on the list, then I can't take your word for it.
LG: Oh come on! It won't kill you to let us come in!
Me: Actually, potentially it could. Nearly all the prepaid people are here, and if I let you in we'll be over capacity. If there's a fire we will be unsafe and die. And you lot being in there will make it even hotter than it is, and I am wearing half a yard of vinyl and am sweltering already. I'm not adding 6 more kilowatt heaters to the mix.
LG: Well, it's good for YOU, but not so good for US!
Seriously. The website and all the advertising WARN that on the door tickets are likely to be in short supply. We opened the doors at 8, it is now much later. Why did you think we'd still have tickets this late for the only event of it's kind round here, run once every four months? Yes, it sucks to get all dressed up and walk to the event to be told that you can't come in, but that's what pre-paid tickets are for.
Goody-Bags:
AT the end of the night we handed out goody bags. The idea was people ON THEIR WAY OUT would grab them so they wouldn't throw stuff all over the place. The amount of people who wanted one NOWNOWNOWNOWNOWNOW even though they wouldn't be leaving for another half hour was astonishing. Needless to say, the people who were actually leaving got them, and they ran out before the end. Although it did lead to this rather fascinating discussion with a woman wearing clingfilm as a skirt...
It was all playful (and she COULD get away with the skirt. Just sayin')
CS (Clingfilm Skirt): Can I have my goodie-bag yet?
Me: Are you leaving?
CS: Not yet but I REALLY want a goodie-bag.
Me: Sorry, grab one on your way out.
CS: But your bottom was on my jacket and I couldn't find it! I deserve my goodie-bag!
Me: Yes, my bottm may have been perched on your woolie jacket. But it is a fantastic bottom. Instead of your goodie-bag you can have the satisfaction that it was on your coat.
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