Wherein I engage in one of the most epic struggles of my career.

[Fenrus]

I find that hard to believe. Just follow the trail of bitterness.

Hot Tips for America guy is probably pretty easy to find too. Just look for a locker room where guys are getting their rocks off....

Kara, oh how I've missed you! Where have you been?

And I believe GK would be easy to find, just have to make the arduous, IQ-dropping treck to Nunavut, and see if they know the number for the Pants Bringer, or Keeper of the Pink Camo...

Or maybe they call him Jed... couldn't be worse than Robert, or Kieth...

[Kara]

I'm difficult to find as I only move at night. ;p

I find that hard to believe. Just follow the trail of bitterness.

Hot Tips for America guy is probably pretty easy to find too. Just look for a locker room where guys are getting their rocks off....

[Jester]

Jester: Hrmm, learn something new every day.

Actually, some of the information I gave you was wrong.

That was not the only picture of Geronimo. That was actually the only photo of him taken while FREE, before being captured by the U.S. forces.

Forgot that tidbit. Sorry. My bad.

[Gravekeeper]

Man, I'm so close to you it's creepy. Well, you know, for you. I'll prolly even be moving to the "Greater Vancouver Area" soon, so, I'm gonna probably gonna stalk you. Well, I'll probably stalk everyone I meet, that's how I've learned to make friends.

I'm difficult to find as I only move at night. ;p

Do best friends end up tied to a bed with broken knees?

[lightmylamb]

Dammit you're in BC too, that makes it easier to find numbers that lead to me. ><

Man, I'm so close to you it's creepy. Well, you know, for you. I'll prolly even be moving to the "Greater Vancouver Area" soon, so, I'm gonna probably gonna stalk you. Well, I'll probably stalk everyone I meet, that's how I've learned to make friends.

[cinema guy]

He thinks Prince Charles is the Anti-Christ .

Wait, is he Mohammed Al Fayed?

[Geek King]

SC: “It’s a local paper around here. Everyone gets it. Mrs Grey went to Mr Black, Mr Black went to Mrs White and Mrs White went you know where, ya know?”

I know this one, Mrs. White, in the Library, with the Candlestick!

1+1+2+1...

[HawaiianShirts]

I love reading the Hot Tips for America Guy transcriptions. I find it hilarious to watch as GK goes from normal CSR type responses to stuff that gets progressively more snarky, and then, when that gets no response, directly to commands. I've managed to do that once with a computer customer, but I don't think I'd dare try it with anybody else.

I listen to a late-night talk radio show (when I get the chance) called Coast to Coast AM. It's about ghosts and aliens and conspiracies and stuff like that. Most of it is intelligent speculation, but there are a few crazies that call in. Someone has transcribed all the calls from one of those crazies who just might be related to Hot Tips for America Guy. Link here if you're up for a good laugh from this kind of person:
JC Webster on Coast to Coast AM

[Gravekeeper]

If Death to America Guy ever tells you that you have to wear a surgical mask during the winter so you don't inhale yellow snow, let me know because I think I know who he is. Or, at least, what he looks like.

I agree with the others, I think I'm gonna try to find your number and give it out to the crazy people.

Dammit you're in BC too, that makes it easier to find numbers that lead to me. ><

He's never said anything like that. He mainly focuses on Jesus and Prince Charles ( He thinks Prince Charles is the Anti-Christ ). As well as various insane ways to win the war in Iraq/Afghan or save the US economy. Oh, and pedophiles, he really likes pedophiles.

Jester: Hrmm, learn something new every day. -.-

There already are recordings of Hot Tips for America guy. He's the one that talked about terrorists weapons, problems in the middle east and how he saw Jesus. Like I said he's been calling for 2 or 3 years now.

[Toujin]

The 'Death To America' guy is either on drugs, or off his medication. Sane people don't make calls like that.

[Skrae]

An Arduous Task

Me: “Ok, do you have a pen or something to write with handy?”
SC: “Um, I have two of us here.”

Two of you? I’m not sure if that’ll be enough. One of you can hold the pen and the other can hold the paper, but you’ll still need someone to cheer on the first two and someone to wipe the sweat off the brow of the pen holder halfway through the confirmation number.

No sir, 2 won’t do, it won’t do at all. You’re tragically understaffed for the complex request I am asking of you. Please seek additional assistance and phone back.

Was this one perchance related to the one who said he had his daughter's head? Either that or apparently someone's spreading the word that peoples' heads can be used for pens in a crunch. Actually that's literally true...

By the by, any chance of you getting recordings of the HTFA guy?

[Bagga]

Sooo...

Robin Williams is actually Geronimo, gothed up? That explains a lot, tbh.

[Sliceanddice]

God, I just wanna go through the yellow pages, find something that refers me to you after hours, and then write your number as a "for a good time call" ad in men's truckstop bathrooms, just so you'd get some variety.

That sounds like fun actually

That's so mean and evil!

Lets do it! Oh, should we include his extension number too?!

I know zap started but i swear when ever you comment i fall in love with you slowly, i thnk your gaining a fan girl....

[lightmylamb]

If Death to America Guy ever tells you that you have to wear a surgical mask during the winter so you don't inhale yellow snow, let me know because I think I know who he is. Or, at least, what he looks like.

I agree with the others, I think I'm gonna try to find your number and give it out to the crazy people.

[JessEm]

I’m not entirely sure how I’ll tell him. I don’t think Hallmark makes a card for this, do they? You know, something with “To a very special President” on the front then “Hey, have you ever considered a career in pornography? Love, GK.” on the inside. Maybe it could play a song when you open it. Perhaps “Like a Virgin” or something.

Brilliant! I recommend you take the next few days to sleep. Lots. And practise your pronunciation of "shoo!"