Wherein I engage in one of the most epic struggles of my career.

[depechemodefan]

Hot Tips for America #6

SC: “Bush gets his best coke from Columbia!”

Well, duh.

You mean the University or the country? The country has two "o's" and no "u's".

Yesterday a woman called and wanted to complain about 2 doctors and wanted us to look up in our computer any complaints about the doctor. One doctor, she said, gave her a pelvic exam and it hurt so bad; she wanted to complain it was rape. Granted, women have been raped when in a doctor's office, but really, pelvic exams do hurt, sometimes not so bad, depending on the doctor. A painful annual fist-fuck, er, pelvic exam isn't rape. Just find another doctor.

[Gravekeeper]

I had to go check out the Dirty Dozen cast.

Still with us are: Ernest Borgnine (91), Jim Brown (82), George Kennedy (83), Trini López (70), Donald Sutherland (72), Clint Walker (81), Stuart Cooper (66), Robert Phillips (83), Colin Maitland (66), and George Roubicek (77).

Truly a viable, geriatric fighting force. If anyone can make the Taliban get off their lawn, it would be them.

[Ironclad Alibi]

Hot Tips for America #5

SC: “The only way to win the war in Afghanistan is to send in the Dirty Dozen.”

Even if we did round up any of the cast members that were still alive, I doubt they could do much to turn the tide. Hell, come to think of it, are any of the cast members still alive? Oh, wait, wait, Donald Sutherland is still alive. But he’s not really that scary….or mobile. The poor guy’s 72, leave him alone. He needs a <other client that makes senior accessible shower/baths>’s brochure, not an embroiled ground war.

I had to go check out the Dirty Dozen cast.

Still with us are: Ernest Borgnine (91), Jim Brown (82), George Kennedy (83), Trini López (70), Donald Sutherland (72), Clint Walker (81), Stuart Cooper (66), Robert Phillips (83), Colin Maitland (66), and George Roubicek (77).

Gone to the big studio in the sky are: Lee Marvin, Charles Bronson, John Cassavetes, Richard Jaeckel, Ralph Meeker, Robert Ryan, Telly Savalas, Robert Webber, Tom Busby, Ben Carruthers, and Al Mancini.

[Gravekeeper]

Gravekeeper:

Maybe this is a silly question but why didn't you just hang up on him after call 2, 3, 4, 5 etc? He's obviously not calling to order or do whatever things your super-secret job entails, so why tolerate the insanity?

(By the way it's time to change the kitty picture.)

Where's the fun in that? -.-

Management is trying to devise some way of combating him now because he won't. Stop. Calling. They're pondering letting the client know, which may actually result in dispatching of the Feds or similar enforcement agencies. Which would be amusing.

[Alpha Strike]

Gravekeeper:

Maybe this is a silly question but why didn't you just hang up on him after call 2, 3, 4, 5 etc? He's obviously not calling to order or do whatever things your super-secret job entails, so why tolerate the insanity?

(By the way it's time to change the kitty picture.)

[Andara Bledin]

You'll have to find an subdue me first. Years of customer service have left me bitter and my dark powers immense. I shall not fall easy to the likes of you, young padawan!

Ah, but we know your habits, my friend. If necessary, we could just haunt the public transit system during the times you've indicated you travel.

....that does make things more difficult. But my resistance is not so easily overcome. Unless we're talking Pocky.

I have Green Tea Pocky. It's very green. And tea-like.

Everyone here appreciates your sense of humor. I'm just sorry you have to suffer for our amusement.

No, no. He suffers for his paycheck.

Our amusement is just a bonus.

^-.-^

[cloudiko]

I laughed so hard while reading this thread that I woke up my roommate down the hall.

I'm sorry, but does anybody else find it hillarious that HTFA Guy is OBSESSED with jerking off? And that he calls it "getting their rocks off"? Maybe I'm just sheltered, but I've never heard it called that before.

Kara, you're right...if there's sweaty guys getting their rocks off, you can almost guarantee that HTFA guy is there. I think I'm going to be avoiding any/all locker rooms for a while. There's nothing worse than finding some creepy guy hiding in an ajacent gym locker getting his rocks off.

[Lady Heather]

SC: “If you burn a $5 as an offering to Christ you might get supernatural powers.”
Me: “What, like X-Ray Vision?”

Sweet! Just $5? …damn, I don’t have a $5. But I have a $20. What can I get for a $20? Heat vision?

Me: “Snuffleupagus is my co-pilot.”

Hot Tips for America #13

SC: “Yeah, I figured out the book of Revelations and Hollywood is the whore of Babylon.”
Me: “No no, that’s Paris Hilton.”
SC:“…….Hollywood is the whore of Babylon and-“

No one appreciates my sense of humour.

How much money do you have to burn to be free of SCs? I'd pay at least $50.

If I site you as my source can I have permission to put the Snuffleupagus quote on a bumper sticker?

Paris Hilton is Hollywood's Whore of Babylon. I belive each city is allowed one, however Paris is the Reigning Queen.

Everyone here appreciates your sense of humor. I'm just sorry you have to suffer for our amusement.

[Nayeli_Sabia]

This is the funniest thing I've seen in days. I choked on my coffee, and I'm sitting here crying, I'm laughing so hard. I'm surprised I haven't woken up the baby yet.

PS: I have Pocky. Strawberry and Chocolate.

[Gravekeeper]

But I have candy.

....that does make things more difficult. But my resistance is not so easily overcome. Unless we're talking Pocky.

On a side note, no sign of Hot Tips for America guy yet tonight...I did get one other nutball but he was unentertaining and more confused then batsheet insane.

[lightmylamb]

But I have candy.

[Gravekeeper]

I have access to one of those. Wonderful! See you soon.

You'll have to find an subdue me first. Years of customer service have left me bitter and my dark powers immense. I shall not fall easy to the likes of you, young padawan!

[lightmylamb]

It's too expensive to have a small cabin in the middle of no where to keep them in so you have to subdue them utterly in the midst of an urban enviroment.

Er....I mean....<cough>

I have access to one of those. Wonderful! See you soon.

[Gravekeeper]

Why would I need to tie them down if their knees are broken? You are obviously far more skilled in this than I. Practice is required!

Because they can still crawl for help or try and reach a phone or net connected computer to send for help. It's too expensive to have a small cabin in the middle of no where to keep them in so you have to subdue them utterly in the midst of an urban enviroment. Which means lots of rope, gags, blinds and a basement suite if you can find one.

Er....I mean....<cough>

[lightmylamb]

Do best friends end up tied to a bed with broken knees?

Why would I need to tie them down if their knees are broken? You are obviously far more skilled in this than I. Practice is required!