I've already got one.

[GingerBiscuit]

There are always good excuses. Example: How many of us have said a version of the following words:

"I swear to god, next time one of these people complains, I'm going to lock all the exits and burn this place down."

(replace burning the place with chopping people up, shooting them all, rabid hamster vengeance, or sex toy massacre, you know, whatever grabs you at the time)

Be honest now!

/Or is that just me?
//Hello officer, was I speeding?
///Choppy choppy!!!

I have often thought to myself 'you know, I bet the queue at the post office would go faster if I shouted I had a gun'

The temptation is often overwhelming.

ALso, often tempted to do a penny arcade...
http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/1999/12/13/

[Broomjockey]

ALso, often tempted to do a penny arcade...
http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/1999/12/13/

I prefer the one where they're talking about weapon choices in video games, and they terrify the old lady next to them. Mainly because I'm pretty sure I've accidentally done that one.

[wagegoth]

I was talking with a couple of secretaries and a couple of associates one day. We somehow got on the topic of long term relationships and how everyone, at some point, must feel like killing their significant other or spouse.

We pretty much agreed, but then one secretary mentioned that her boyfriend had really pissed her off and she had wished he were dead. She thought it was really terrible to feel that way.

I replied, "Well, there's a difference between 'I wish he were dead,' and 'I'm going to be on the evening news.'"

[draftermatt]

My great Unlce once went into Rite Aid for a perscription. Imagine his surprise when he was handed (and walked out with) his daughter-in-law's birth control.

Needless to say he wasn't happy. So he goes back into Rite-Aid, yells and huffs (apparently they had a habit of screwing up his perscriptions) and left saying "I hope there's a fire and this place burns to the ground"

Nothing ever came of his threat, the store was probably happy to be rid of him, and Wal-Mart to take his business. But his Daughter-in-law was none to amused. Saying "I wish he wouldn't say stuff like that. Because if the place does burn down he's going to be the first person on the suspect list"

[Primer]

I prefer the one where they're talking about weapon choices in video games, and they terrify the old lady next to them. Mainly because I'm pretty sure I've accidentally done that one.

I'm pretty sure I've done that, also. I know DH has.

Slightly OT: There's a "new" fireworks outlet kind of near us. Today, we stopped, just out of curiosity. The kid that waited on us was trying to impress us with his knowledge, so we started asking pointed and specific questions about his stock, and about some things we wished to purchase (that we knew he probably didn't have--electronic ignition wires, in particular). He didn't seem to understand why we prefer NOT to ignite 1F black powder, a pound at a time, with a lighter.

BTW, we do it for safety demonstrations on how fast different materials burn--don't ever wear polyester around fireworks!! Wool is best.

[GingerBiscuit]

I was talking with a couple of secretaries and a couple of associates one day. We somehow got on the topic of long term relationships and how everyone, at some point, must feel like killing their significant other or spouse.

off topic, OH GOD YES. He is the love of my life yet sometimes I want to push him under a truck.

[Samaliel]

BTW, we do it for safety demonstrations on how fast different materials burn--don't ever wear polyester around fireworks!! Wool is best.

Even more OT : There's a reason that every high school I went to (I moved a lot during my teenage year) required we wore a 100% cotton lab coat if we were to enter the Chemistry / Physics lab.

[SpyOne]

(I won't say where, because I'm sure she could get in trouble for telling me about this.)

Actually, while Mom might get in trouble for some of the other stories she's told you about work (were it made public that she was telling them), on this one I think she's fine:
The State Police becoming involved pretty much waived any confidentiality around the incident and moved it onto the field of "news". As in, the local paper would be free to write about how "State Police were summoned to the office the lawfirm of Ganif & Ganif today after a former client made threats."
Also, the fact that her firm had represneted this loon in his suit is in the public records down at the courthouse, so she's not letting any secrets slip there.


We all try our best to "file the numbers off" so that stories can't be traced back directly to the people who have signed non-disclosure agreements that say they can't talk about what happens at work when they aren't at work (and how sad is it that covnenience store clerks and people who work in fast food have to sign documents like that to get hired), but this particular story includes nothing that isn't in the public record, so I can't imagine anyone getting in trouble for telling it.

I look forward to hearing some firsthand stories from you. Let's just hope they are of the "really funny thing happened at work today" variety, and not the "customer who inspired homicidal rage" or "customer who made death threats" variety.

[wolfie]

Needless to say he wasn't happy. So he goes back into Rite-Aid, yells and huffs (apparently they had a habit of screwing up his perscriptions) and left saying "I hope there's a fire and this place burns to the ground"

Nothing ever came of his threat, the store was probably happy to be rid of him, and Wal-Mart to take his business. But his Daughter-in-law was none to amused. Saying "I wish he wouldn't say stuff like that. Because if the place does burn down he's going to be the first person on the suspect list"

Of course, if he'd said "I hope a hurricane makes it this far down the coast and washes the place away", he'd be a suspect if that "Wrong-Aid" were trashed by a hurricane.

[MoxisPilot]

I noticed a few requests to keep everyone posted about this incident: unfortunately, my home internet and phone lines are unreliable at best, so I wasn't able to reply sooner!

From what I understand, nothing has come of the second "Death" threat. I-Want-My-Money Man was a no-show, though the police were called and the building was locked down.

Ah, the joys of the legal business.

And OT, but yeah- you live with someone long enough, you do, in fact, want to throttle them, no matter how much you love them. Especially when the internet and phone don't work, one is marooned at home while said Someone takes the only car to work, and that wonder that is air conditioning is merely a pipedream of the New World. -.-

But then he brings home chocolates and the world is right again.