More tales from Textbook Land (And still long...)

[fireheart]

Choice overheard comments that made me giggle
"Why do I have to have a English book! I already KNOW English! It my language, duh!" (Unfortunately, that's an exact quote.)

Reminds me of Homer Simpson "What do I need English for? I'm not going to England!"

"Where's your Law & Order section?" (I can hear the doink doink noise in my head!!)

Next time tell them that it's over in the fiction section with DVDs (if you sell them)

<from a customer in the aisles, talking on her cell phone> "So, I told him we couldn't have sex until I--holy shit! This book is $230!! What? Oh, no, I told him we couldn't have sex because I didn't want to catch a SUV while I'm in school." (please gods, never let her procreate...)

For the person who asked Sex until what....I can think of a couple....

Sex until Vegemite. (for those who aren't familiar with Vegemite, it's a brown spread that we Aussies love.)
Sex until Vendetta.
Sex until Virginity.
Sex under Vancouver.
Sex Under a Voyeur (this makes sense)

And yes, I have a slightly dirty mind (as evidenced by the fact that I couldn't stop giggling in my French lecture because my lecturer kept using "He came" for a past tense verb and my mind translated that to something naughty, resulting in me writing "He came on the table" in French and my friend next to me cracked up laughing.)

Note to Self
When you only have an hour left in your shift and have been driven bat fucking crazy, it's best you not attempt human interaction. Doing so results in you taking the canister of Clorox wipes, flapping the lid up and down as if it were speaking, while singing "Mama's got the magic of Clorox!"

I was giggling when I read this one and had to jam a fist into my mouth to keep from laughing too loud because I'm at my uni library at the moment, killing time until work. And I do a similar thing at work except that I'll talk to my scanner a la Abby talking to her machines from NCIS. And the customers find it a hoot.

[jedimaster91]

And I do a similar thing at work except that I'll talk to my scanner a la Abby talking to her machines from NCIS. And the customers find it a hoot.

I do that with the computers at work. There have been times I have literally been on my knees begging them to function properly. I swear they have a mind of their own sometimes.

[lupo pazzesco]

I do that with my register, too. It refuses to scan, and I'll start talking to it, much to the amusement of some of my customers because it usually consists of one of, or variations on, the following...

"Ok, seriously, we went over this before. I push a button and you WORK? Do we have to go over training again?"

"yep, glad to know you hate me."

"Don't make me kick you..."

"Geez, not enough recovery time from last night? You're slower than my sister's brain trying to do math! Come on!!!"

[fireheart]

I use "I don't like you and you don't like me right now but if we get through this, I won't rip your cords out at the end of the night."

And I also thought of another SUV

Sex Until Victory

[Geek King]

TOASTERS!!! DO YOU HEAR ME?! PROGRAMMABLE TOASTERS!

[Snowbird]

Sex until Vegemite. (for those who aren't familiar with Vegemite, it's a brown spread that we Aussies love.)
Sex until Vendetta.
Sex until Virginity.
Sex under Vancouver.
Sex Under a Voyeur (this makes sense)

Sex Utilizing Viagra.

Somebody had to say it.

[fireheart]

Sex Utilizing Viagra.

Somebody had to say it.

Or the next time you hear someone say "I'll SUE you" think of this, and only this...(Courtesy of I.P. Freleigh)

"Sex Utilizing Enzyte"